Going through first breakup

[TheOptimist]

Hey all,

I'm going through my first break up and I really am having a hard time coping with things. My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up with me. Our relationship started out great for like the first 2 months and then I started to notice a decline in his interest. All of a sudden, he never wanted to dedicate any of his time to me. I would ask him if we could hang out on the weekend and he would say that he didn't want to commit to doing anything with me because something cooler might come up. I dealt with this kind of behavior for months because I had really strong feelings for him and I thought we were just going through a rough patch. However, last week, he had made plans to do something with me and then at the last minute he told me that he wanted to go to do something else. I got upset because I had been putting up with things for a while and I told him that he wasn't treating me like his girlfriend and that he was being really selfish, having me wait around until he felt like hanging out. His response was that he knew he was being selfish, but that he didn't care about me enough to change himself. He then broke up with me, with that rationale that he didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore because he knew that he was taking me for granted and maybe a break up would cause him to care about me more if he missed me.

I was heart broken, but there was nothing I could do. Later that night, he messaged me telling me how shitty he felt and that part of him wanted things to go back to how they were and part of him just thought it was because he wanted what he didn't have anymore. He went on and described his feelings to me, which is amazing because usually he hides his feelings, and then the conversation ended with me having to go to bed. We talked for a while and he seemed conflicted, but there was no definite conclusion as to what he was actually feeling as far as getting back with me or not.

After that, a couple days passed without us speaking. I had read a ton of stuff online about break ups and how no contact was the best thing to do to get your ex boyfriend to regain interest in you. Then that Sunday, I gave in and I messaged him, asking him how he was feeling about everything and basically he had reverted back to his usual self and he seemed content with his solution to break up with me. He told me I was very attractive, he really liked me, and that I was an outstanding girlfriend but that he just didn't have any romantic feelings for me. However, he was very adamant about wanting to remain friends and he said he'd be very upset if we couldn't after this. We already have plans to go to a concert with mutual friends next week, but I'm scared to see how that is going to turn out.

Basically, I'm just really confused and I want my boyfriend back, but he seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I've already made some of the classic mistakes, like writing him a long message telling him my feelings and mentioning that maybe we could try things again if some time went by, but I didn't get a very positive response. He wasn't angry that I messaged him, but he just obviously was not turned on to the idea.

Is there anyway that I can salvage this relationship or should I just move on at this point? I really don't know what to do. =P

[sweetkissesforu]

He's either to immature for a relationship or not in to you let him go there are men who do want to have a gf