Please, help a rookie

[thebloodycoon]

Hi, as the title says - I consider myself a rookie, or a beginner, but only when it comes to internet flirting etc... If you put me in a room with a woman, I will definitely know what to say or do, but if you give me a keyboard and a chat window - I may start writing stuff that is not usually well understood by chatting. Also, I don't like not seeing the other person's reaction to what I say.

Nevertheless, I approached this beautiful young lady in the way described, i.e. I sent her a friend request on Facebook with a proprietary message in which I explained that even though I don't know her and have never seen her in my life, Facebook suggested her in the 'People you may know' list, that I clicked on her profile and couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was and I simply wanted to add her, and that I hope that she'll accept my invitation, so that maybe sometimes we can arrange to meet for a coffee or something and we can get to know each other.

I did that because I didn't seem to find another way for me to approach her, except maybe asking people where she goes on weekends, who she hangs out with etc... but I thought that was a little over the line, and I thought I should try this method.

So, she accepted my invitation but did not reply anything to my message.

I thought that maybe she jut did not know what to reply.

Now, I am not really sure if I should write her again, and if I do - I don't know what to write - should I invite her to a date, or maybe not call it a date - ask her to go out and have a coffee sometimes, or ask her to some theatre play, or a movie in a cinema...

Would it be a little too straightforward and direct, since we don't know each other and have never met in person, should I suggest that we bring a friend or two with us and have some group going out...

Or should I just write something that sounds like small talk for beginning, e.g. how are you, do you know me since we're from the same (small) town...?

Also, she's using facebook on a mobile device, so I cannot see if she's online to chat or not, and I need to send her a message.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I don't know what to do and this girl is also smart, funny and successful, beside being gorgeous(from what I heard about her). Also, I believe she's single

Thanks a lot, kind regards

[thebloodycoon]

Thanks for the offered help and stuff, I don't really know who's spamming here, but to be honest - I hope you guys will settle it cause I am most interested in hearing your opinions about the thread topic.

[Love'sReject]

Well, since I had initially tried to figure out the exact problem and try to offer help, again, can you summarize what your message said? That is conducive to finding out if you will succeed or not.

[thebloodycoon]

Dude, I wrote what the message said in my first post: " I sent her a friend request on Facebook with a proprietary message in which I explained that even though I don't know her and have never seen her in my life, Facebook suggested her in the 'People you may know' list, that I clicked on her profile and couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was and I simply wanted to add her, and that I hope that she'll accept my invitation, so that maybe sometimes we can arrange to meet for a coffee or something and we can get to know each other."

And I really hope some admin would come here and settle this fighting on my thread.

[Love'sReject]

Oh, my mistake. I think you moved WAY too fast. If she's beautiful, she'll have received that exact kind of message a trillion times over and without anything to differentiate yourself, I suspect you've just eliminated your chances with a run-of-the-mill message. She probably read it and deleted it, just keeping you on her list to pacify her vanity.

The forum is admin-less, basically.

[Love'sReject]

In conclusion, I think your invitation out of nowhere blew it. She probably assumed you were hitting on her so you can try to get some from her. Good job.

[thebloodycoon]

Oh, my mistake. I think you moved WAY too fast. If she's beautiful, she'll have received that exact kind of message a trillion times over and without anything to differentiate yourself, I suspect you've just eliminated your chances with a run-of-the-mill message. She probably read it and deleted it, just keeping you on her list to pacify her vanity.

Ok, I am aware that the probability of you being completely right is big. I'm just one of the many who've told her she's gorgeous etc..

But what do you think I should do now? If I never write her again, I will never be sure that she wasn't interested. If I write something again, then I'll get the chance to get her response and decide if she's interested or not. I think I'm not losing anything if I write her one more time.

If you agree with that - I wanna ask - what do you think I should write? I gave my suggestions in the first post, or maybe you mean something aside from that?

[Love'sReject]

How long has it been since you sent the message? Unfortunately for you, if it has been long enough to where it is reasonable to assume she had time to read your message and you've received no response, the lack of response is a sign that she was not interested (myspace used to show you if your message was read or not).

I'd say you should not send another message; otherwise you'd get blocked. From my experience on plentyoffish, about 90% of girls' profiles say something to the effect of, if she didn't reply to the first message, don't send any more.

[Over The Fence]

The forum is admin-less, basically.

The mods and admin are here quite a bit actually, we just let the trolls go to war and choose to not get involved. If it gets too out of hand (ie this thread), then someone takes care of it. For example, luvcoq is no longer a member. Will he be back with a new account tomorrow, probably. And we'll deal with it again.

[Love'sReject]

The mods and admin are here quite a bit actually, we just let the trolls go to war and choose to not get involved. If it gets too out of hand (ie this thread), then someone takes care of it. For example, luvcoq is no longer a member. Will he be back with a new account tomorrow, probably. And we'll deal with it again.

Cool, thanks OTF!

[Over The Fence]

There are only 4 of us plus LA, and there are a lot of posts to go through, so reporting posts is easier. This thread received multiple reports, so action was taken. If the thread has no reports, we just let it go.

[IndiReloaded]

If she accepted, then you should send her a short message saying something like:

Thanks for accepting my request. At the risk of sounding like a jerk (I'm not), I just wanted to say you are stunning and seem interesting. Did you want to chat a bit? [add something funny, cute to finish]

If she bites, great. If not, let it go. Maybe she's seeing someone or busy or just not into you.

[Love'sReject]

That's a fantastic FIRST message. He's already sent one, though, and it was way too much for a first message, especially for a beautiful chick AND someone he doesn't know.

[IndiReloaded]

I missed the first message part. I just read the friend request. In that case (he's already contacted her), he needs to sit tight. Otherwise he will come across as 'desperate weirdo'.

[Love'sReject]

Yup. And since she's beautiful, she probably has 200 messages in her inbox from today alone.