Need advice from a female

[Incertus]

First post and it's a bit of a doozy lol. OK, short and simple:

I met a woman that I am head over heals for. It was really intense for a short time, but she stated early on that she wasn't ready for it ("scared" was how she put it). So, a short while later I got the "friend" bomb, and it didn't feel too great. I'd of thought by this point in my life (mid-30's), I'd be able to get over it easily; however, this is the first woman in close to a decade that I have felt like this about. Anyway, at first I turned down the whole friend idea, and I was quickly approached by her friend, who told me that she was hurting over the whole issue. When I initially saw her out, I just ignored her since my feelings had been hurt. She did look hurt though and still does.

I decided to move past the hurt thing and genuinely attempt to just deal with her on a friendly basis when I see her out. However, she seems distant even though she said she wanted to be friends and she ended it. I notice her watching to see whom I talk with when we run across one another, and I want to at least keep friendly relations (i.e., not act like total strangers when I see her), but now I'm not so sure what to think. Obviously, I'm hoping that if there was anything to us (and it felt like there was), then relating to her as a friend might open the door to revisiting the romance later on. Basically, I need to know if I'm just being delusional here, and if not then why is she acting so hurt and distant when I do come across her? Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Confused:-/]

I think she is acting distant towards you as she feels rejected by you on both levels - as a friend and emotionally!

She probably really enjoyed your company and wanted to get to know you more before getting involved in anything heavy! She may have been hurt prior to meeting you and so is still nervous about getting involved again for fear of either being hurt again or of the relationship peaking too early then fading out, which would leave you both in a bad place!

Basically my advice would be to approach her again and explain that you would like to be friends with her but also make it clear that you do have genuine emotional feelings for her and would hope that in time you two can become an item. This way it gives her time to feel comfortable in your company and gives you time to get to know her better! If there really is anything between you both the chances are the friendship phase will not last too long as you will both want to get closer, its a natural progression for genuine emotions! Obviously if nothing does develop, you haven't really lost anything, but gained a special friend! Hope this helps?

[YouAreBeautiful]

I don't think you are giving us enough background here to really gauge the situation. What issue was she hurting over?

[Incertus]

Hope this helps?

It does, thank you.

I don't think you are giving us enough background here to really gauge the situation. What issue was she hurting over?

The friend just said she was hurting over what happened between us, but she didn't provide any detail. I'm assuming that she meant my having wanted to just stop talking to her at the time.

[SapphireBerry]

Distance and confusion. They play a big role in what you are talking about.
I'm going through the same thing I have a guy who I'm mad about and he's
now keeping his distance from me and he told me he wasn't ready for anything big.
I think the best thing to do is just leave her be, i mean you can smile and say hi
every so often but to me it sounds like you two arent going anywhere. She might
be facing a few issues in her personal life (which is not your right to get involved in)
but you can assume she is quite a confused woman, alot of us get the friend bomb
though i didn't get that I'm completely kicked out of his life, but yes give her space
a bit and if she is hurting you should talk to her and ask her what's wrong, she shouldn't
be using messengers she needs to approach you and tell you herself, a relationship does
not have a third wheel or messenger, you might as well be talking to a computer