i dont know how to make it better

[iheart]

my bf has a really bad temper with anything, but for a while now he has been lashing out at me calling me a bitch saying things like **** you, its so hard because if he was alwys like this i wouldnt be wiht him but he has a completely different side. when i ask him why he gets so angry for which i think is no reason he sometimes says its things like he says i "corner" him in an argument or something. and a lot of the time we arent even arguing he just takes what i say the wrong way. and if i try to calm him down it makes him more angry, for the first few months we went out (it has been 10 months now) i never heard him be angry at all, it all just happened one day he got mad at me for the first time and then from that point on he would get angry most of the time for nothing, and also he spends a lot of time with his friends which is fine but all i ask is if it would be more balanced, i dont want to leave him, i think i should fix things but whenever i try to talk to him he says nothing back i feel like im talking to myself. but when i do think about leaving him i have a few fears like how he will take it being so angry, and also i lost my virginity to him (he didnt lose it to me) and i feel kind of worthless if i were to be with someone else, but i feel like he is only getting angrier, and even though i say things like if you call me a bitch its an abusive relationship and im not going to be in one, but he always seems to just do it anyway. i just dont know what to do anymore, any advice or how can i fix things?

[vashti]

You can't fix things like this. I suggest you get rid of him before his temper escalates into physical violence. Seriously. If you tolerate crap like this, it will only get worse, and this is a problem he needs to solve on his own.

[iheart]

i know at this point i should leave him but i cant help feeling if i did that i have nothing to offer anyone anymore, and when we arent arguing we are really good friends, i dont want to lose him forever

[vashti]

Nothing to offer anyone? Why? Because you aren't a virgin anymore? Do you think that was the sum of your value? Do you realize that MOST people aren't virgins? Do you think they, too hold no value?

This is the reason you end up seeing battered women sticking with their abusive men. They think they have no intrinsic value, and their S.O.B. men reinforce this mindset.

I think you should talk to a professional. It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues. No one deserves to be treated this way. There are lovely, kind men in the world if you open yourself up to them, and they will love you even if you aren't a virgin. I swear.

[assmunch]

my bf has a really bad temper with anything, but for a while now he has been lashing out at me calling me a bitch saying things like **** you, its so hard because if he was alwys like this i wouldnt be wiht him but he has a completely different side. when i ask him why he gets so angry for which i think is no reason he sometimes says its things like he says i "corner" him in an argument or something. and a lot of the time we arent even arguing he just takes what i say the wrong way. and if i try to calm him down it makes him more angry, for the first few months we went out (it has been 10 months now) i never heard him be angry at all, it all just happened one day he got mad at me for the first time and then from that point on he would get angry most of the time for nothing, and also he spends a lot of time with his friends which is fine but all i ask is if it would be more balanced, i dont want to leave him, i think i should fix things but whenever i try to talk to him he says nothing back i feel like im talking to myself. but when i do think about leaving him i have a few fears like how he will take it being so angry, and also i lost my virginity to him (he didnt lose it to me) and i feel kind of worthless if i were to be with someone else, but i feel like he is only getting angrier, and even though i say things like if you call me a bitch its an abusive relationship and im not going to be in one, but he always seems to just do it anyway. i just dont know what to do anymore, any advice or how can i fix things?

you can't let him walk all over you because if you give him the oportunity he will, and fromthe sound of your letter, he already has, you must have self esteem issues cuz you wouldn't take this shit from him then, plus, there are other guys out there who will treat you right and if you're not a virgin, well let's put it this way, the first time is overrated and to add even more most guys aren't virigns themselves, you said your boyfriend wasn't before being with you, maybe that's why he doesn't take you seriously and doesn't treat you the way he should. i've been with my boyfriend for three years and i'm only 19, he's sweet and he loves me cuz we saved ourselves for eachother. don't let him abuse you just because he's had more experience, you should move on, and what's even more, most guys are intrigued when the girl has some experience already so you'll have no trouble finding someone to love you.

[Gigabitch]

You deserve what you settle for. Get out now or accept the fact that it will get worse. You're stronger now than you'll be next year. Do it.