I dont know what I should do..

[im-sad]

Hey all..
straight to the point eh..
ok Iv been likeing this girl in my class for about 1 1/2 years. I met her last year when I moved to my then new school. I first I had no intrest in her and thought of her as nothing as somewat the class sub-nerd. I mean sub-nerd cuz she isnt really nerdy or anything but she studied a hella lot back then.

So time passed. Got rejected by my first crush here. Went on to my second. Sorta forggot about her. Then after awhile we were getting close. Just good freinds close though. People started teasing us as we were getting so close. We were getting uncannily close I admit but at the time I still didnt think of her as anymore than a close freind. Then.. it happend.

This was around I think September of 2005. She was playing a game of TOD(truth or dare) at a freinds house. One of our freinds dared her to hit on any guy in the class. Naturaly she didnt want to. So they decided to pick me as the target to try to get her to do it and she agreed. (note I wasnt there. She was with some freinds) So she took the phone and called me...

Ring-a-ding-ding..

I was on the computer at the time. Funny as when she called I could tell something weird was gonna happen. We babled for a min then she said:

"I want to tell you something."
I answer:
'okay, what?'
"I like like you" (she said this in our Indonesian as we both are Indonesian so it didnt quite sound so odd)
'huh? wha??'
"you heard me"

I dont know why but I said yes to that. Soo after that we texted each other. It was the weekend and I lived 1 hour away. After a few messages she told me about the TOD. I wasnt really happy but Im not someone who gets angry about things like that easily. So I said ok lets get it over with. We were both still close but I started to think.. why did I say yes..?

After about a month I figured out that I really liked her. More than just a freind. So I began my aproach. I tried for around 3 weeks. Did some goofed up mistakes and she got mad at me from end of november till january. Before I goofed up though, I did hit on her.. (this is a strange part which I dont really understand). She rejected naturaly.

In January we got things straighted out and went back to normal. we went on ok for the next 5 months. I had other crushes but they didnt last long. But in july my feelings came back and I wasnt sure whether to try again or not. So i did a more subtle approch and it sorta worked. Then in October I think,, we were chatting on MSN and we were having fun with this I ask u then u ask me thing.(during this time I found out a new guy liked her too.) As a guy who likes her of cource I asked her why she rejected me, who she would pick in the class if they all liked her, etc. Then she asked me who I would choose if all the girls in my grade fell in love with me. I hesitated.. I wanted to say her but didnt know if it was the right time. But I didnt want to lie to her so I answerd.

"I dont know why but I still care for you and like you so I would choose you"
Reply:'oh, ok. Thanks for being honest'
"yeah, so my turn?" (my turn to ask as she just asked me)
Reply: 'I guess'
"Will you go out with me" Yes I know its really pathetic to do this while chatting. but it seemed like the right time. This time she said:

'umm.. ..'
"you can think about it for awhile if you want"
'ok'
Offline-------------

Even tha fact that she thought about it got me exited. So I waited a few days.
then one day after school we were talking alone and she said.

'well ive been thinking about it and..'
"yea?"
'well,, you know' (for an instant I thought she ment yes )
"umm"
'I dont feel like we should go out together. I dont want to buden my parents or become far away from my best freind(lets call Best freind JW here).'

Now she's a really nice girl, she really cares about her parents(unlike me ) and she saw her twin sister get distant from "their" best freind when she got a boyfriend. Confusing really... But as I knew she probably had reasons of her own under that I said ok and accepted her rejection.

Now we sometimes talk about it.. we like to see what the other is thinking. see how we currently feel about each other. She told me to forget about her so I dont get hurt again because she doesnt know if her feelings tword me will change or not. I know I probably left a few details out but cant be perfect can u^^.

I want her to be happy but I dont know what I should do next. If I wait then hit on her a third time it feels like she'll be annoyed and say yes so we can get together and break up so it doesnt keep on going. I dont want that. But I know I should move on. Yet I dont want to.. and the new guy seems to get closer and closer to her..

Im just so confused.. I dont know what to do...
Im 16, shes 15 and New guy is 15

[vashti]

I vote you forget about her and move on. It doesn't sound like she is interested at this point. Sorry, sweety, but there is definitely a girl out there who WANTS to date you. It is your job to find her.

[im-sad]

Thats what I think too. But on the other hand sometimes she seems to act like she likes me the way I like her. then she'll come back by acting totaly diffrent bcuz she gets in a bad mood. we usualy talk those things out but Im not sure. I want but dont want to leave her.. Its making me dizzy.

[Gigabitch]

Her bad mood should not be your problem. Find somebody better. Should be easy.

[vashti]

15 year old girls cannot be figured out. Just cross her off your list and move on.

[Mathias]

girls cannot be figured out.

Fixed your post. You had too many words.

[im-sad]

When i say bad mood I dont mean like sour pissed off mood. I mean she's had a bad day and/or has had a fight with her parents. Thats sorta one of the reasons I want to be with her. To be with her when she needs someone to talk to.

Yes girls are hard/impossible to figure out

[Prodigal]

If you want to be there for her that doesn't require going out with her. That's just being a good friend. I agree with vashti; you should forget about her and move on. You'll find someone who won't give you some excuse to not go out with you. Since it seems you care about her, be there for her. Doesn't mean that you go out with her, and after her polite rejection, I think you should take it as a sign to move on and don't look back. Don't wall yourself in to someone you don't have much of a chance with.

[im-sad]

I get that point of view and agree with it. But here's what I forggot to say up in my first post. Alot of my freinds who are close freinds of her think that I still do have a chance. They arent the " i say things u wanna hear" people so I sorta believe them.


Truthfully I dont really know why Im falling so hard for her. I truly wish I could wish these feelings away but they just wont leave. All I know is that I want to spend more time with her than I can if I'm just acting as a freind...

[Prodigal]

Then try again if you really wish. Seems that you came here with your mind set already... if all of us are telling you one thing, it may be saying something. If you choose to disagree with it and do something else, that IS your choice. The most important thing is to do what you feel is right. If you would regret not making the move on her again, then by all means, make the move because regret is terrible. Just don't say that we didn't warn you.

I'm sure that you probably will do it anyway, so good luck... personally I don't think she'll go for it, but I hope that you prove me wrong.

[dreamer101]

well mate sounds like you've fallen hard for her. and she ain't quite there yet. and no matter what your friends say, until it comes from her its all just BS. and still if you are adamant then i think the best way to gauge this out is by letting her miss you and see if she seeks you out and for what reason. its difficult but in the process you might get over her too. otherwise you'll crash and burn, but a lesson like this better learnt now than later if you ask me.

[im-sad]

Thanks for the wishes prodigal. I may try again.

Dreamer 101
Would it make any significance if she always asks why I dont come to school if Im absent?

[Prodigal]

Don't look too much into details like those, or try not to. That's a mistake I make constantly and I find it very hard to pull myself away from that. I spend too much time analyzing whether I think the girl likes me, and then I don't make a move because I'm not sure.

I don't want you to make the same mistake.

[dreamer101]

no it doesn't mean anything. that is not called seeking you out, its common courtesy between friends. but you don't really want to be friends with her do you? that is the part where you will crash and burn.

and yeah like Prodigal said, don't waste your time analysing time. create a false sudden impression that youve moved no, no friends thing either. and either you eventually move on or you take her back into your life for the right reasons.

[im-sad]

Well the weird thing about it is that me and her regularly talk about how we feel for each other. She knows I liker her and I know that she considers me a good freind. So you cant really say that its analysing could you?

Another issue that I have is if I try again its gonna be my third time. I feel like Im forcing her to be with me. So Im between "try again to see how it goes" and "Dont try as she already knows and will feel pressured into it"

BTW> She's the only person who asks if Im absent. Does that change anything? I dont think she does that for many guys.( not sure tho)