Trust issue in a relationship when it comes for sex.

[BethyC.]

I can't tell this to anyone so i chose a less painful place to spill the tea. I hope someone reads and replies.

I'm 25 years old and have a bf of 2 years. He is a year older than me. Yesterday he told me that he was a virgin before me. And that's not the serious issue here. I don't care about his past or his gf's. I never did.
But i feel manipulated. I lost the virginity to him, 2 years ago. It would've been easier for me back then to know that we were both virgins.
The thing that bugs me is that he painted me this picture that he had 15+ partners in his life, he sometimes explained stuff "he did" with some of them and got himself in nasty positions with ladies from his past. I thought he is this kind of a heart breaker and you'd think that i should be happy about his confession.

But the real issue is that he wasn't understanding as he should've been in our first attempts of having sex. He would always say i should do oral, that all the other girls did that to him, that i should do this or that, sometimes he wasn't satisfied with me and called the sex "incomplete, not good enough", when he should've been more supportive knowing the fact that he was a virgin too. I would've done the things that he asked for eventually, but i needed time and he always rushed me. I understand that it's hard for men to tell this kind of stuff, but 2 years? I am not a judgmental person.

He is a bit of a liar and our relationship is dated and i fear that this "confession" is his last chance of repairing things, or so he thought. He sounded honest, but i don't know what to believe anymore. If he "confessed" this on purpose to make himself better in my eyes, he failed miserably. I don't know if i should trust him or not. I don't care if he was a virgin, but he lied so well all this time, and so imaginative that it makes me SICK.

Any advice or same experiences? xxx

[Mattiemae]

Well if he lies, you really can't tell the truth from fiction. So really it whether you want to stay in the relationship and really think it is worth having someone lie to you and disrespect you, or find someone that does respect you and that is honest with you. Really it was wrong, and manipulating. You shouldn't be rushed into sex either. If it's not comfortable than don't do it.

[michelle23]

If hes lied all this time hes likely still lying now. I wouldn't believe a word he says and I wouldn't stay with someone like this. Sex is supposed to be mutual and its supposed to be fun. Sounds like he ruined it for you

[BethyC.]

I'm in such a big dilemma. He was crying through the process, he is always crying and he is pathetic when we end up in a big fight. I don't know what to do anymore.
This issue is killing me, he is losing his mind when he thinks that i'm getting out of his hands.

[Mattiemae]

His emotional state and mental health is not your issue. If he's that upset it is unhealthy. He will be fine if you break up with him. He may think it's the end of the world, but he will get over it. Alot of people will pull that ending a relationship and even go as far as saying they'll hurt themselves. It is hard to let go of a relationship, some are just more sensitive than others. He formed a bond with you and of course it is being broken. We all go through this with every relationship. It is something we have to deal with in life.

There is nothing you can do to help him with the process. If he gets very upset their is counselor's if he can't handle it. His family or whatever can be a support. When you end a relationship, it is kind of like a death. Their is a grieving process and usually people go through the same stages of grief as if someone died. It may be harder for some more than others. In the end he will be fine. Like we all have discovered over time, and move on to the next person. So don't feel guilty about it.

[bekho]

Its hard to get better at sex when you've only been with one person.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[confusedguy1012]

Okay if there's one thing I know for sure no guy should ever do that's pressure a girl to do anything she's not ready for. I really don't think you should be with a guy who a) lies and makes things up b) pressures you into doing things you are not comfortable doing c) tells you that you are/makes you feel not good enough. There are things my current girl still won't do with me after four years and I don't mind we'll get there eventually just when SHE is ready and I would never push her into anything she didn't want. That is not fair to her and I want her to enjoy it as much as I would and not just do it because she feels bad. Another thing the fact he lied and got so "creative" could/probably does mean he is mentally ill which is something you should encourage him to get help for. I don't think lying ever solves anything in a relationship just starts more problems he should not have lied and being with a lot of girls means nothing IMO every girl I know would rather be with a guy who has less experience but is honest and caring than an a**hole who has slept with a lot of girls. You can get better at sex but you cant change who you are unless you really really want to. I would take this lying as a sign that you can't trust him and dump him and find a new guy who won't lie, pressure, manipulate, you. Also I think there is nothing wrong with a guy crying at big events such as he's lost a family member or something like that but at every little fight that is pathetic. Yes I have cried before I cried when my grandfather died, I cried a little when my girlfriend was in the hospital and I almost lost her. Those are times to cry but not at every little fight.

[BethyC.]

I can't stand a man who cries like a little baby. I'm not a perfect person, i shouldn't judge others but lack of dignity is a crime!

This is a never ending saga you guys. Thanks for everybody's input, i really appreciate it.