Mad at my boyfriend for a suggested sexual position

[sof]

Hi, I am writing this because I feel hurt and pretty angry, and wanted to check that I am not overreacting:

My boyfriend of almost one year and I both attend the same college, and right now we are not together for the summer. We Skype most days, and last night we were Skyping while reading an online article about new sex positions to find some that we want to try next time we see each other. One we came across was the (going to be slightly graphic here because I feel it is necessary) position where the woman lays on her back on the bed with her head at the edge, while the man stands and places his penis in her mouth.

This was a position we had tried once before, while playing a sex game (his "reward" for answering a question right was to have me as his "sex slave for 5 minutes"). During this game, he suggested this bed/standing position and I agreed. He quickly explained the position and then we started. I had never done that type of position for (being upside-down) and had not often given blow jobs before that (honestly maybe 10 times between 2 boyfriends at that point), which my boyfriend was well aware of. I continued for the entire 5 minutes, because my boyfriend was excited to try this position, though as soon as we started I did not enjoy it (to me, it felt much different than giving a BJ while "right side up," and I felt like I had much less control, and just uncomfortable in that position). After I told him I didn't like that position, and he assured me we would never try it again if I didn't want to. I figured there was no more to say about it and left it at that.

Now, a few months later, while reading this article, I was curious about how it went for other women (the author was a woman) and I skimmed the rest of this particular position. In the article the woman goes on to say that she had heard this position supposedly "lengthens" your throat and makes it easier for the woman to take in more than she usually can. I had absolutely no idea that position was supposed to do that and I wondered if my boyfriend did when he suggested it. I quickly skimmed through the rest, and the first comment I skimmed talked about "deepthroating" and I realized that this was a position meant for that.

My boyfriend and I are very good about talking about sexual preferences. Deepthroating was NEVER brought up, ever (I had never even heard him say that word and I had never said it to him until last night when we fought). It is also something I would not ever care to personally try; I find it very very unappealing. I then asked my boyfriend if he had known that the position catered towards deepthroating. He said he did know that, and that he would want me to "deepthroat" only if I wanted that night. But he was not intending on trying to "get me to do it," and only suggested the position because he wanted to try it, and I believe him on that.

No, what angers/upsets me so much is that my boyfriend did not explain the details/differences about this position that he KNEW. If my boyfriend had told me these details beforehand, I would have at least expected some similar feeling, instead of being very surprised and very uncomfortable. He told me last night that he didn't want to tell me the details because he didn't want me to think he was trying to "get me" to deepthroat (at a point when we had been dating for 8 or 9 months! he could/should have just explained that then!).

What upsets me the most: This encounter was the worst sexual experience I have had in at least a year, perhaps more, and it could have been prevented. I feel hurt that my boyfriend did not take the time to think how this brand new position would feel for me.

Thoughts? Thanks in advance.

[Sonrisa]

let's just say that he really didn't know how it would go for you, he must've suspected that it would not be most comfortable but being a guy he was obviously interested in trying it. would you rather have him try it out with someone else?

[MarcoPolo7]

In my opinion you are overreacting.

[vashti]

Don't you have more pressing things to be upset about? You tried it, didn't like it, and he is ready to move on. Get over it, already.

[Maple1714]

Yeah...it's really not a big deal. Most people don't go into great detail about why they want to try different positions...they just try them. A lot of guys really like BJs...so of course he wanted to try something like that with his GF. Be careful you don't scare him into being afraid of trying new things with you. Don't fight over this...move on.

[toknow]

This is an overreaction. But the reason for it is the cat and mouse game you are playing with your boyfriend. Here is how it most likely started. Your boyfriend did something you didn't like in the past, (it must have been something small, and this must happen often), you nagged him about it, he now expects this reaction every time, so he avoided telling you, because he knew you'd make a big deal out of this. You see him not tell and hide things from you, so you feel betrayed, and on and on it goes.
You've started this game, by overreacting unless he did by lying to you. The chicken or the egg, it matters.

PS Has he lied to you chronically in the past where you confronted him?

[Hamburglar0]

Definite overreaction. Maybe he wasn't aware how you felt. I'd mention your feelings to him, make sure he understands, then let it go and go back enjoying sex again.