TRUST ISSUES WTIH GRILFRIEND ( Long Read But REALLLY need Help)

[mma4life]

So basically I have known this girl for around 7 Months since the start of my University school year. (Im 18 shes 19) She is from across the country and moved here for school while already having a boyfriend and was trying the long distance thing. I met her a week or so into the school year and we started hanging out alot. At the same time she was also hanging out with another guy she knew who she had a "crush on" as i later found out. But anyways we went on and off talking as we had numerous problems with me thinking it was going somewhere with her flirting but her thinking it was just friends. She had broken up with her boyfriend and we started talking again and one drunk night it got hot and heavy (no sex) but from then it was good until we had another off time in the relationship because of me thinking i was a rebound etc. We went another month or so being just friends (with my intent of getting her bacK) I was succesful and we were going out for a few weeks until she said she still had feelings fro her ex across the country and they were back together and we stopped talking for 3 months almost.

During that period of time my game was fairly bad and inexperienced, i made alot of mistakes. I was way to clingy and attached, as was she at times but i didnt have the attraction at its full potential. In the 3 months we hadnt talked i had started going out more and meeting lots of girls, and my game expanded like crazy where i would be running 2 or 3 girls at a club at the samme time. It led to me starting to see one of the girls i had met up with that i knew from highschool. Everything was going fairly good with her.

After about a month of seeing the new girl, the ex started texting me again. I wasnt very responsive, giving her pretty short, witty answers, that she apparently loved and was always laughing and wanting to talk more. We did this fro about 2 weeks before i finally agreed to hangout with her to work on some "English work" for school. I went over to her house and right from the start she was really flirty with me, play fighting, etc. Then there were random periods of silence where we were just laying on her bed staring at each other. I tried to make a move but she wouldnt kiss me on the lips just everywhere else, but then she couldnt help it and started making out with me etc. She told me how much she missed hanging out with me and that she likes me alot, more than ever and thats the only reason she cheated on her boyfriend (who was a typical girly AFC wuss). I was torn for a bit, with having another girl (who i wasnt exclusive with) and her. I decided to give her another chance as I really liked her and always had an amazing connection with her. This time around i think my new experience with girls and developed confidence had made her VERY attracted to me and she even said she saw me differently

Time passed where we were seeing each other but she was still kind of confused if was with the other one even tho i reassured her everything was gonna work out. One day after she had a night clubbing with her friends and her friends single guy friends. I had seen a picture of her grinding on some guy while she was apparently really drunk. Even tho we weren't exlucsive I was really angry about this as she would have never been ok with me doing something like taht or if another girl ever texted me or something she would be all sad. I called her and she had many differnet excuses like "we arent exclusive" "Im just friends with him" " I didnt think it was that bad" etc. By the end she had realized what she did was wrong and apologized in tears as she thought it was over and she never wanted to lose me and is disgusted iwth herself.

I Slept on it for 2 days and she called me again.(apparently in these 2 days she would call her friend crying etc) She was again crying because she likes me so much and would never want to lose me. She said she wouldnt even go out anymore and would do anything to build my trust again, i decided to give her another chance as I thought it would be foolish to end it cuz she was just dancing with another guy.

Since then, We got alot closer and have been dating fro about another month/month and a half. It has been going great, and i really like her, and she likes me more than ever. She had turned down SIX different opportunites to go out with her friends to live up to what she said or to hangout with me instead. For a long while she had said she wanted to wait for sex as well ( had only slept with one guy b4 me) to make it more special, and then one night it happened and she got even more attached. So everything was going perfect.

The problem is that in the summer she will be going back to her hometown for 2+ months. I know she has to go and I encourage her because I know she misses her dad and friends etc. But really, I cant trust her. From the things shes done to her own ex and to me kind of, I dont kno if i can trust her going back for 2 months and not doing anything with some other guy. She tells me all the time how she would never do anything because she likes me so much and would never want to lose what we have, but I kno how flirty she can be and that she is easily tempted (or atleast used to be). Its been bugging me now for a few days pretty bad, and even tho i have 2 months or so before she leaves, I dont kno if I should continue with this or not. I really like her and she really likes me and we have a great connection but are these trust issues to big for this relationship to work?

[jane]

ok.. so. I'm guna be honest.. I didnt read all your post but I what did read makes sense. The thing of it is, trust is the backbone of a relationship... or in my opinion it is. when you break that.. earning it back takes time and effort. Trust is just one of those things that you can't just get back instantly. If you really want a relatioship, knowing you messed up and want to make it right, you have to earn it back.. there is no time limit. Time heals all..

[Gigabitch]

Jeeze. All these non-exclusive relationships. You know what that means? It means she can grind on anyone she wants to and you can't say a ****ing thing. It means you can just do "English homework" with whomever you feel like and nobody is allowed to have their feelings hurt.

No wonder so many people have herpes these days.

You have to pick one. Either you're a boyfriend and you have the rights, privileges and responsibilities that go with the title or you're some casual hookup, in which case you have to keep your trap shut about whatever she does.

[mma4life]

Jeeze. All these non-exclusive relationships. You know what that means? It means she can grind on anyone she wants to and you can't say a ****ing thing. It means you can just do "English homework" with whomever you feel like and nobody is allowed to have their feelings hurt.

No wonder so many people have herpes these days.

You have to pick one. Either you're a boyfriend and you have the rights, privileges and responsibilities that go with the title or you're some casual hookup, in which case you have to keep your trap shut about whatever she does.

The only time i was complaining about her doing something while we werent exclusive wwas when she was grinding, and ok i get it, mayb i dont have a right to be mad.....

But the times she cheating on her ex she WAS with him, and emoitonally cheated on him the first time i met her with me and mayb even more with this other random guy. And then Physically cheated on him the second time around when they were back together, with me. Im not saying anything about us not being exclusive at times other than the one.

[alovehangoverr]

So, in the course of 7 months you've broken up numerous times, been unofficial a few times, cheated on your gf at the time with her, she cheated on her bf with you, and you don't trust her at all.

Do you really see this going anywhere?