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Thread: Am I' selfish?

  1. #1
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    Am I' selfish?

    Alright here is the situation, I am in the USAF and me and my wife just got married in June. We are in Germany and before we got married she knew it wasn't going to be something to do everyday as I work everyday. I encourage her to get a job but she wont work for less then 10$/hour because that's what her last job paid in the states. She would rather us pay $1100 to fly home instead of using that money to buy a second car over here for her to be able to go places and be social with friends. I am scheduled to work 10 hours a day I pay all the bills as I don't have a problem with but when I get off work I want me time for some a day to do things like play games (Yeah the play games problem again I'm sure you see it all the time) She has her "alone time" while I am at work but when I come home she gets upset that I would like to do something other then exactly what she wants to do. I pay bills I clean up after dinners and sometime cook dinner and do laundry whenever she just asks or looks bummed from being home all the time. I've pushed for her to have social interaction but now we can't afford a car cause she wanted to buy tickets home instead. I just am so frustrated that I do so much I fold on alot of stuff because she left work and such behind in the states to come here so I let her make almost all the decisions that I couldn't care less about like furniture purchases etc to hopefully make her happier about the way she see things. I also noticed it's not the games that bother her like I could be sitting here bored with her but as soon as I fill that time with something I enjoy she is bothered by it and I can't stand it. I just need help and opinions please how do I approach this because I am tired and just don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    Ever heard of recreational companionship? Have her play a game with you. That way you get to associate her with something you enjoy doing and that will only bond you two.
    Its crazy how you sleep for eight hours, work for eight or more hours, two hours of eating, useing the restroom, driving, etc... and then where is the time for kids, your wife, your own alone time? There isn't enough time in a day.
    She needs to understand that you need space yet you need to make sacrifices to keep her happy as well. You just have to both meet somewhere in the middle so you are both equally happy.

  3. #3
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    I've tried she doesn't have any games she would want to play my next step is like a board game of some type. She just doesn't like to sit in one play for a very long time unless its her playing her facebook sims game but I would try to play that with her but we have a shared facebook account so not possible. I'll keep trying though more suggestions the better.

  4. #4
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    I just reread what you originally posted and it almost seems that she feels like once you get home you neglect her by wanting your own time to do the things you like to do. Imagine if she worked all day and when she got home she would rather do things alone than with you. It makes sense why she might feel neglected. Maybe you could entertain her for a few hours when you get home then have the rest of the day to yourself. Or like I orginally said, just associate her with the things you do somehow.
    Funny you mentioned a board game, me and my girlfriend actually created our own board game after shopping at michaels arts and crafts store. I get why you mentioned a second car, woman arent as logical when it comes to financial situations though (sorry not trying to be sexist or offensive). Of course it makes sense to you, but it won't make sense to her.

  5. #5
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    Ahh that makes sense.. Lol nice about the board game let me see what I can do. Appreciate the help I'll keep you updated.

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