Why did he treat me like this? What does 'I want a break' really mean?

[ruby_red]

Hi guys, hope you can help answer some questions for me.

I had been with this guy about 15 months, it was really serious, he said that he was saving up for a ring to ask me to marry him - this was after just a couple of months of being together. He was infatuated with me and it was honestly a bit too much so I told him i wanted to take it a bit slower. He started to change after that, was moody and snappy and was colder towards me. I would ask him what was wrong and he would say that he was just stressed with work and still loved me and wanted to marry me.

Anyway towards the end he said he wasn't happy and he wanted a break, 6 weeks went by and I saw him once then i text him and asked him what was going on and he said by text that it was over and that he didn't love me enough to fight for our relationship and that he was really depressed and needed some time on his own to sort his life out. I was distraught of course and tried to phone him and he wouldn't even speak to me over the phone.

Anyway after that I had a few more texts from him over the next couple of weeks saying that you never know we could still get back together in 2013. So i text him over christmas and then he told me that i needed to move on! Talk about mixed messages!

So now i'm full of questions - i want to know if he really did want a break or if that was just another way of saying he wanted to break up with me and he was too much of a coward to do it.

i also want to know if you think that we is seeing someone else - he says he isn't but has de-friended me on facebook (after which i saw loads of pics with him and various different girls at a work christmas party) maybe that was attention seeking i don't know.

For some reason I still want him back, perhaps if i went nc eventually he would miss me! Or am I just dreaming!!

[Boisdevie]

'Need a break' = it's over but I'm to weak/scared to tell you.

[Fruitss]

If u want him bak u most have low self esteem.
I think u did something very good and wise too tell him tooo slow down about that marriage thing.
Cause it was shore too soon to go so far. But he could have take time too talk about what is marriage and what u and him want if he was really interested.

I think he did send u 100000000000000 sign that he dont want u.
But u keep forcing things

And u make a fol of yourself.
Move on. he just was desperate too marry whatever person as soon as possible, and got mas cause u did not
agree too do such a poor decision/
be happy he is gone. people like that (wants too marry very fast or have kids with u )r scary!

[Wakeup]

Dissecting why he left you and if he is or isn't with someone new is just going to keep you mired in thoughts of him. it doesn't matter why he left you, it doesn't matter if he is with someone new. He's a part of your history now so do yourself a favor, ruby and leave him in the past. Bois is right, he was just too much of a coward to tell you outright that his feelings for you changed.

You'll be fine... You just need to stop obsessing and you'll be fine, sooner. Really, you will.

[VincenzoG91]

He wanted to marry you after a couple of months of dating? You ducked a bullet. Anybody who wants to get married that quickly has got some serious issues.

You didn't do anything wrong. He wanted to marry an idealized version of you at a time when he was still getting to know you. Once he got to know you better, he realized that you weren't actually perfect, and it shattered his juvenile fantasy. Ultimately, he broke up for one simple reason, he realized that he didn't care about you enough to stay together. That doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't even mean that you did anything wrong. It does mean that you need to forget about him and move on with your life.

[ruby_red]

You are all so right. I do think he put me up on a pedestal and when he found out I wasn't actually perfect then he was disappointed and depressed, then he started treating me badly. i have been blaming myself for months for pushing him away and thought that i had done him so wrong and that i deserved to be treated like that.