No, did not have sex with the ex (yet at least..)..

Well, a brief summary.. My ex and I met when we where roommates when I did semester abroad in the US.
We broke up when I left to go back home, and then, well, he kinda cut me off.
He promised in the beginning that he will come visit and we'll keep in touch, but it didn't happen.
Last time we mailed each other was about a month and a half ago.

Now I'm going again to a school thing in NYC in August and I mailed him today about it (after by best friend
told me again and again in the last month not to do it). I told him I coming and asked to meet up, maybe in
NYC or maybe I'll come visit him.


Am I just STUPID?! It took me so much time (4 month) to stop crying every day - I'm "sober" for two weeks now.. ;-/
I still live him and think about him every day. He was the reason I applied to this fellowship anyway.
Now I'm just scared what will happen if he will reject me again and won't come to see me. Or what will happen if he will.
I just couldn't think about coming so close again without seeing him...


What now?!