Sorry this is so long, but please read and give advice. My situation is sort of tricky. I was never dating the girl but that didn't stop her from hurting me. I have been friends with this girl for 2 years and we have been hanging out quite a bit over the course of those two years. We would go to the movies a couple times a month, she would come over to my place about once a week to hang out, I went over her place a couple of times, we went to the state fair and a renaissance festival together, and we had Thanksgiving dinner together.
During all of that I knew she had a long distance boyfriend, but I couldn't help but develop feelings for her. She is about to graduate with a degree in something that I almost went into. She is not a geek, but likes anime and video games. I thought she was perfect.
About a year into the friendship she told me her boyfriend cheated on her. I told her she deserved better and that any guy who would cheat on her is not worth dating and clearly has problems. The problem isn't just that he cheated its that she, just like me, is a Christian, and she talks about morals meaning something. Despite the fact that morals mean something, she has no problem dating a guy who has a long list of immoral character flaws.
He is divorced at 23
He has been in a threesome
He tried to dump her after she returned from the initial trip when she met him(basically a one night stand with a chick who lives in another state)
He slept around during the first half of the relationship
He asked her to marry him so she could save money on school, and than slept with his ex-girlfriend who was living with him at the time
And most recently he tried to Dump her and said they should see other people. A week later he said they should get married so she could move out there, and about a week after that he signed up to move to another country for three years. at this point she has probable spent 3 to 5 weeks in his company. Their entire relationship is through email and she is considering waiting for him for 3 years.
Now the main problem was that I was worried about her. I thought she was a nice, intelligent girl who was absolutely perfect who was just going to be cheated on again and again by this guy. I didn't want to see her marry him and get hurt. Recently everytime I would talk to her she would tell me how I am a failure as a man, and that her boyfriend is not. She just kept comparing the two of us and that really hurt me. After about 3 months of that she came up to me and told me I'm pathetic, a failure as a man, that her sister thinks I'm gay because I watch Japanese romance comedies, and that her boyfriend, who is a MAN, would never watch that stuff.
In an email I explained that I could no longer be her friend because I really liked her and was worried, and that her words were too hurtful. Her response came a week later: give me my stuff back.
two weeks went by and we started making small talk and she started talking about her BF. I asked her not to because it bothered me. She laughed at me and I yelled at her. I told her that she didn't care if she hurt her friends. I tried to apologize later but had a door slammed in my face, so I told her that I hope the next time he cheats that she grows a brain and dumps the guy.
This left me feeling like crap. I think I've gotten over her, but not in the way I wanted. Unfortunately I can no longer think about her without hating her for how she treated me. I never wanted to hate her, I wanted to make it easier for me by ending the friendship. I thought if I explained the situation she would be understanding, but she was rather merciless in ending the friendship. Is it over? Does time heal all wounds, or should I take a more proactive step and try to fix this? Unfortunately I think I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I had an amazing female friend who, in the end, thought I was a joke. Luckily I move in 3 weeks and will never see her again that really upsets me. I would give anything to go back 1 year to when we were close. I think the only thing I've learned is to never let a girl tell me her boyfriends secrets if there is any chance I will start to like her.