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Thread: Bit of a problem that annoys me, slightly.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Britain
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    Bit of a problem that annoys me, slightly.

    Me and my girlfriend met through school.
    Each weekend we would meet up at a bar.
    Once i was with a female friend (who happens to be an ex. There's nothing there though). I'd known my girlfriend for about a month now.
    My girlfriend came into the bar and seen me with my arm around the female friend... She got upset sayin' she was jealous an' then her an' my female friend got a bit 'uuh' together.
    Things got forgot about...
    Christmas eve she told me she loved me. Christmas day i stayed in hers and i told her that i did, but i had previously said i didn't believe in love but then told her that i thought i did once, but now i know it wasn't...
    We had a little discussion as she didn't really like what i said.
    She then started to accept it...
    Now, she has brought up that she doesn't see why i had my arm round the female friend... we had an argument... i told her i would not keep in touch with the female friend if it meant makin' her happy...
    Few days later... she brings it up again.

    It's really annoying me now because there isn't anything between me an' the female friend, but my girlfriend keeps sayin' she doesn't get why i done it.

    Does anyone see what the problem is and can anyone suggest how i could make her forget about this and how i could make her realise she's the only thing/person that i'm involved with, love and will do anything for. Would be greatly appreciated

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Has she been cheated on previously? If so, its hard to get over insecurity and that feeling that if it happened once it will happen again. I think you just need to tell her exactly what you said, "She's the only thing/person that i'm involved with, love and will do anything for." Sounds like she needs to hear it. As for the arm around the other girl, she likely will never forget it but she will have to learn to trust you and that it really did mean nothing.
    So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
    blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
    A smile from a veil?
    Do you think you can tell?
    And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
    Hot ashes for trees?
    Hot air for a cool breeze?
    Cold comfort for change?
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

  3. #3
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    Yeah, she's been cheated on before an' said it was awful. She said that "they were shit anyway, so i can't imagine what it'd be like if you did. It makes me physically sick thinking about it".

    An' 'course it meant nothing. I'd never do anything to hurt her. Also, i couldn't imagine being involved with anyone else but her.

  4. #4
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    Yeah, if she's been cheated on before you could do the littlest thing and its a knee-jerk reaction to automatically assume "he's going to do the same thing to me." Other than assuring her you only want her, its up to her to come to terms with trusting you.
    So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
    blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
    A smile from a veil?
    Do you think you can tell?
    And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
    Hot ashes for trees?
    Hot air for a cool breeze?
    Cold comfort for change?
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    36
    there is no reason for you to have your arm around an ex - no matter if something is there or not.

    put yourself in her shoes. if you walked into a bar just past midnight, everyone's drunk and you spot your GF hugging a dude she slept with right before you. would you be cool with that?

    be smarter bro

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    2,930
    I agree with steve. You know we meant nothing by it, but you gotta think about what it looks like from her end. All she knows is that this other chick is your ex, and that you were touching her rather intimately. An arm around the shoulder gesture is typically reserved for females you want to keep close to you. She feels that you breached this. I have a ton of male friends, but I don't feel the need to hang myself on them. That is for my man.

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