Ok I have been single for about 8 months now. My last relationship was very emotionally and physically abusive which has destroyed my self esteem and has caused me to have serious trust issues along with several other lasting effects. The thing is I don't want to be alone. I want someone in my life so bad. I've gone from one bad relationship to another and I want to find my "one"
I have recently for the past few months been trying to date again. I have had hardly any luck. All I seem to attract is guys who just want to hook up and nothing serious. I also have developed a bad habit of this. I am an extremely sexually active even to the point where I feel I may be addicted to it. Now all the guys I meet I end up hooking up with and it doesn't go past just sex. I know I should not give in and sleep with them but I always do.
I feel like somehow I'm damaged and guys can see right through me and does not want to get emotionally involved at all. I am also very shy and nervous on a date and sex seems to be the only thing that eases my fear. I don't want to be this girl. I want someone to love me and treat me right. I want to meet someone who makes me feel secure and not afraid and nervous.
Any advice on what I can do to end this repetitive cycle and find the right guy? How do I go about doing it? I have kids at home and don't really get out much. I'm not big on the social scene, so I been relying on the internet which I'm having no luck at. I live in a small town and I feel like I'm gonna get a bad reputation if I keep going on like I have been, then no guy is gonna want me. Please help!!