How often should I expect him to text?

[DAcrazy79]

Ok so I have recently been seeing this guy off and on. He lives an hour and a half away from me but we've been texting back and forth and have been out twice together and we ended up having sex both times, but we also spent all day together having fun and doing other things both times too. We seem to hit it off right from the start. Conversation seems so natural with him and we laugh and joke around with each other like best friends would. The chemistry between us is so obvious.

The thing I'm worried about is, since the last day we spent together, even tho it went really well, he has not been texting as often. I may get a good morning text and then a few sentences back and forth, then nothing the rest of the day. I know he's not working because he had 4 days off in a row during this time and he was also in town the whole next day hanging out with friends without me. (He's originally from my hometown) I find myself texting him first a lot of the time, and he does answer right away. I guess my question is how often should a guy who is really interested text? Is he in it just for the sex? Am I worried over nothing, and am I texting too much if I text twice a day asking how his day is? I want him to know I'm interested in more but I don't wanna pressure him.

[GLYC]

I only use the phone for setting dates. So I text or call once a week to set things up.
If a woman texts me first or calls me, I'll respond and have a short conversation. But my goal is always to get to know women in person, not have a phoneship.

It's funny how people misinterpret that though. Ive had women that suddenly think that I don't like them because I don't text them otherwise.
It's like, uhhh, I'm taking you on dates though?

I think texting conversations are better for when you're in an actual relationship, but that's just me.

I also don't think people should form expectations for things like this. It just leads to misinterpretation and potentially drama.

I would get kind of tired if a woman texted me a ton, twice a day as in starting conversations twice a day? Sounds like a bit much to me. I like to look forward to seeing her again while keeping her on my mind throughout the week wondering "Whats she been up to?". Plus, I would prefer to hear about your week when we meet up again. Mystery and suspense is fun.

[DAcrazy79]

Thank you GLYC that does relieve my worries a little bit. He really does seem to be into me and I don't wanna do anything to mess that up. That's why I decided to ask here first before jumping to any conclusion. I guess my only concern is the fact we live so far apart and he works strange hours sometimes so it's hard to set dates and actually stick to them, so far we've only seen each other twice in one month.

[GLYC]

You bet. My logic is, I don't want to be a possessive creep which all women have encountered. Plus, I like to encourage women to come at their own pace and to feel free while they're dating me. It's not that I don't care. Plus, it's my way of showing, hey listen, I WANT you, but I don't NEED you.

I was in the same boat with the distance and schedule thing with a woman I went out with a few months ago.
I was really into her. Things fell through unfortunately though. It was hard to work things out.

Just find a nice balance, without holding back too much.
Us guys like to know we're appreciated still at times (just like you women do).

Also, just a tip.
Maybe do a short little Skype date on the weeks you can't see each other, those can be fun if distance is an issue.
Being able to just physically see the other person can help at times.

Cheers

[DAcrazy79]

I admit I have other worries as well. I try not to come off as insecure, but I've been hurt and led on so many times in my life. My last relationship I was mentally and physically abused. Since then I can't seem to have a relationship with a guy. I will have guys that say they want a relationship but then it ends up being just sex. I could not get emotionality attached to anyone.

With this guy it is different. I really, for the first time in a long time feel something. He tells me he feels it too. He says we click really well together and he can't wait to see where it leads. He tells me he's crushing on me really bad.

Here's where it gets confusing. We used to text back and forth constantly and send pics. Twice he set dates up on the following weekend to come see me, and both times he had an excuse why he couldn't at the last moment. Also I noticed both times that communication would actually slow down the last couple days before our date he's at up. After he stood me up the second time I stopped texting all together. A couple of days after I didn't text him, he texts me and ask how I've been and told me he really wants to see me and he was so sorry about not being able to again. I agreed and jokingly told him this time I'm gonna hold you to that promise.

That whole week we texted back and forth more so than ever before and it seems he was really liking me more and more. We would go back and forth on how much we could not wait to see each other the following weekend.

This time he did come see me, we rented a room together with the intentions of spending the night together so he didn't have to make two trips back and forth to bring me to his house. We had a really nice time and just like before we joked around with each other and hit it off really well. We had sex three times ( which was planned ) We went swimming together in the hotel pool and went out to eat and had a lot of fun.

Here's another thing that has me worried. Later that evening his daughter texted him saying she needed him to come get her. ( or so he says ). She was staying the night in town with some friends and no longer wanted to stay. He ended up cutting our night short and taking me home because he had to go get his daughter.

This has been 2 days ago and ever since then I've been the one to text him. I only have been texting good night and good morning and he does reply right away. He still seems interested in me and calls me baby in our texts even tho they are very brief. I want to hold out to see if he texts me first for a change, but don't want him to think I'm forgetting about him or not thinking about him. I don't want to seem possessive either tho. I really like this guy a lot and it seems like he likes me too when we are together. I'm just really confused and I'm worried he may be leading me on and telling me what I want to hear. I'm worried that maybe he's in it just for sex as well too. Especially after he cut our night short. What do you think guys?

[DAcrazy79]

Update: ok so I think it would be in my best interest to just give up on this guy. I texted him good morning this morning (after telling myself I was gonna wait for him to text first) Now he's not replying at all and I've noticed him liking other women's pics and post on Facebook, and none of mine. I think he got what he was after and now wants nothing to do with me. Story of my life.

[GLYC]

Well honey. The problem is that you're inviting him to jerk you around. Stop putting in effort. You shouldn't be sending good morning/good night texts (don't get into a routine of doing that, its just too much texting) to a man that consistently cancels at the last minute, that's rude and disrespectful behavior. And by reaching out to him after he does that, you're showing that there are no consequences for those actions. Notice how when you stopped doing that he came around and apologized and started putting in effort. I would make him do 100% of the texting, calling and pursuing for the next 2-3 dates if hes treating you like you're a second class citizen.

I think maybe you need to make him work a little harder. Don't just give your heart away. When people jerk you around, they need to earn you back.

Also in the future with texting, if man never reaches out first and you want him to, let him know that you would like it if he did that every now and then.
If a woman told me that's what she wanted, I would definitely shoot her a text midway through the week just reminding her that she's on my mind.
Even though that's more the type of thing that I do exclusively with girlfriends, I would make exceptions if the woman asked for it.

[JamesPaz]

Hi DAcrazy,

You should learn to love yourself first. As a Men, I think this guy is just taking you for granted. Honestly, In my opinion men can detect the vulnerability of a women being weak. Don't be so weak and vulnerable to Men. Love yourself and all things will follow.

Talk to you soon.

James

[bulrush]

I guess my question is how often should a guy who is really interested text?

About once every 1-2 days. Less than that and he's probably not that interested.

Is he in it just for the sex?

We don't really know.

Am I worried over nothing,

Yes.

and am I texting too much if I text twice a day asking how his day is?

I don't know. This is different for each guy.

I want him to know I'm interested in more but I don't wanna pressure him.

Then text him once each day to show interest.

[Snow White]

I am so happy I'm not in the dating scene anymore. This texting stuff is bullshit. I just recently learned how to text and what I like about it is you can keep things short and sweet and don't have to have a conversation with the person. It's impersonal to me.

"You shouldn't be sending good morning/good night texts (don't get into a routine of doing that, its just too much texting) to a man that consistently cancels at the last minute, that's rude and disrespectful behavior." Who is being rude and disrespectful? Why can't I send "Good morning" or "Good night" texts? I hate playing games.

Does anyone have actual conversations on the phone any more so you can hear each others voice?

GLYC says "When people jerk you around, they need to earn you back." I say when people jerk you around they are not worth your time.

[GLYC]

Snow- i think you're misinterpreting what im saying.
Sending good morning/good night texts isn't disrespectful and rude. Continuously canceling plans at the last minute is, which is what the guy was doing.
So why would you reward that type of behavior by texting him throughout the day?
That's communicating that its okay to do that, and that there will never be any repercussions for it.
They can blow you off at any time and you will gladly just be waiting around for them.

You dodged a bullet by missing the texting scene, when it comes to dating, too much texting really does ruin attraction, at least when a man does it to a woman.
If anybody wants proof, blow up whatever woman's phone it is that you're dating/trying to date, text her good morning/goodnight everyday for a week.
She'll think it's cute at first, for maybe a day or two, but she'll get real sick of that shit quick.

And yes, some men still call women. I prefer it as well, but quality time spent together is by far the best option.
I only use texting if it's just something that briefly needs to be said.

It's different for actual relationships though because consistent communication is more important. Dating doesn't translate to that.