Advice Urgent

[Njackson28]

So I'm about to join the US Army and there's something that's been biting me. I work with a girl for about 2 years now. We've flirted off and on while she was single I had a relationship but I always managed to have fun and enjoy my time with her. She was my best friend. Everyday after work we'd hug each other goodbye. We'd joke around and play pranks. When I broke up with my ex girlfriend we got closer. I realized that I cared for her more then as my friend. But she got into a relationship with a real douchey guy. So now I was on her field when I had a girlfriend. So we continued to talk and go on as we were. For 5 months we were friends while she was dating this guy. We knew everything about each other. She got me into watching the office and we always jokingly talked about how we were Jim and Pam from the show. About a month into her dating her new boyfriend. I bought her a tea pot if anyone knows the show they know the significance. So she stopped talking to me for a while because her new boyfriend didn't like it. But one day I got the nerve to tell her how I felt. I told her I loved her. She was shocked, didn't know what to say. Just told me: "nick you know I'm with Dillon". So I left it at that. So a month goes by and we weren't talking. She texts me out of the blue 2 days before I go and do my processing for enlistment. How she will miss me and everything came flooding back. She told one of my friends how she loved me too and did for a long time. And is worried about me. But knows that shed wait for me. So we continued texting and went to a party together when I got home. We kissed and told each other how we felt. Things we both already knew. When we got back to my house I ended up giving her the teapot which I've had for close to 6-7 months. Pictures, notes and all. I still have my original note. She cried her eyes out. And I finally got my chance to be with her. The next morning I dropped her off and since then she hasn't talked to me. I've been blocked on everything. And she's still with her shitty boyfriend who uses her. It's been close to 3 months since everything happened. And I still find myself being in love with her. I know she's my soul mate. I feel it. She's my Pam. I miss her so much. What should I do? I just miss my best friend?

[GLYC]

Do nothing. As there's nothing left for you to do. You're falling into the illusion of action, thinking you need to do something. But you don't.
In fact, I think it's counterproductive. Don't try to force things or get her to change her mind, its weak.

She seems like a good girl, shes continuing on being loyal with her boyfriend (even if he is a douche, that's a plus, it shows she has integrity).
I probably wouldn't have taken things to the extent you did, as it's not cool to get in between a woman and her boyfriend. It's a matter of respect, for the relationship title alone. You wouldn't be cool with a guy doing that with your girlfriend would you? Once again, even if he is a douche. I still wouldnt but thats me.
However, the plus of all of this is that at least she knows where you stand.

If things don't work out with him, it sounds like she will very likely be knocking on your door with some text message.
And when that happens, probe for information and get her out, "Hey are you still seeing so-and-so? No? Well, when are you free to get together for drinks/coffee?"

Thank you for your service.
Cheers.

[Snow White]

Ahhhh...I LOVE The Office. I even watched the original English series. Problem is, this is reality. We always root for the Pams and Jims to get together. I don't know if it is actually worse for you that you got to be together since it was immediately snatched away from you. It makes no sense to me that she professed her love to you and then totally blocked you. I agree with GLYC. There is nothing you can do. It's been three months. It just doesn't make any sense to me! It seems cruel.

I don't know you, but I feel so angry at her!

[GLYC]

It makes perfect sense to me. She's in a relationship, shes blocking him because she is giving her current relationship effort.
Based on what he said. Does she feel for this guy? Yeah. I would think so.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't value the relationship she has.

As for the 3 months, dont be so focused on that. And, time can have a factor. But if its a woman that you had a legitimate mutual connection with, they will look back at it. Depending on how things went and ended between you, she very well may reconsider things. Especially if you show up like a real man. In your case, it doesn't sound like you turned into a pathetic whiny, aggressive butthurt man or anything, so that's a plus.

I used to think, "If this woman cares about me, she will reach out to me again within a month". And then it didn't happen.
That expectation has left, when things are over, I assume they're over forever. It's best to live that way.

However, I've had multiple women reach out to me again.
And. Some women never did, the ones that didn't, I really feel like they didn't feel anything really strong for me to start with.
In all honesty, I am glad they never did either, because every woman I met after them was so much better.

I had a woman reach out to me 9 months after I royally messed things up, I basically made a fool out of myself with some long 3 minute apology voicemail towards a woman that blew ME off. I already made a lot of mistakes. It sucked, and destroyed all respect she had for me, i knew how much of a mistake it was and figured that i wouldn't be hearing from her again. But. We clicked really well in the past, she really knocked my socks off, and although I thought it was over forever, she still reached out to me.
Why? Because we had some good times together, and I was willing to walk away forever from someone that didn't value me (which is a strength).

However, with that being said, dont wait. Keep dating other women because you truly never know what could happen. She could eventually end up marrying this douche.

[Njackson28]

I appreciate the advice both of you. I go to enlist tomorrow. I hope my time away will help with everything. The service won't give me the time to think about her. But I have a deep feeling that it won't stop. And when I come home it'll all be flooding back.

[Snow White]

I have always believed that what is meant to be will be. A beautiful, romantic young man like you WILL find someone worthy of your love. Please stay safe.

[Njackson28]

I figured I'd tell you guys that I am enlisted in the Army as a combat medic. I leave September 5th. I'll keep y'all posted if anything happens between her and I. Thank you.