Boyfriend and Bestfriend

[Ayana]

I had this one friend in high school, whom I grew close to. She is not a have one best friend kind of person. She's basically close with everyone but it never bothered me much. She introduced me to a childhood friend of hers. We'll call him Max and her Penny. Now Max and I started dating and still our, we're in college now, Long distance relationship. We have had a lot of ups and downs, on and off relationship. And Penny always helped with our issues, if I needed to talk to her or just to blow steam off at for relationship troubles she was there. With her there never was a problem of loyalty. I respect their friendship aswell, they've known each other longer than I have either.
Currently we've been dating for more than an year, and I've known her for about 7 years, and Max and she have known each other for about 12 years.
I never ever get between their fights, ever. And he doesn't get into ours.
Then 6 months back she came to my city (We are all in different cities), and Max always spends his summer break at my city. So we three were finally going to meet together for the first time. Yes it's weird having known eachother for so long. FLASHBACK: She had left school before she introduced me to Max.
So yeah. But unfortunately I had a few exams and couldn't meet the first week. We all made a plan to go to our fav cuisine together. Untill Max and Penny went without telling me. Up until a day ago it was a common plan, and then they meet up. I'm okay with them meeting, but that particular plan was ours
I was hurt because Max didn't even ask me.
We got over that. We met the three of us then once , but Penny and I got into a small fight. We always sprt things out and it's never serious. But Max got into it and supported her.
He told me he wanted to spend more time with her as they hadn't met for years, I said good spend time but what's that got to do with me. He said I shouldn't be walking with him because Penny will feel weird.
That really really bothered me
When I asked Penny, she said it wasn't true. She never felt weird
As it turns out they both were lying
She did feel weird, weird enough to tell him that she wanted to spend time with him and not tell me and then lie. When I asked him he too said she didn't outright say it but he felt it!
Later after about a month we finally sorted it out
They both apologised, they both said it wasn't right to do so. And this won't affect us
Things were back to normal

Now last month, they both were again in my city. Again I had exams, and immediately after I was leaving town for grandparents place. I met him but couldn't meet her
They both met and I was totally fine with it
What bothered me was that she never told me she was coming to visit and I got to know about it from Max. He says " Oh yeah Penny's here, didn't you know?!" I AM SUPPOSED TO KNOW. All her stories I got to know from him, about her college
When I asked her why didn't you tell me she said she'd forgotten
Fine cool it happens
Then it happened again, she came and again didn't tell me she was here, met him, didn't meet me
This time I was in the city, i was hurt obviously because it was my birthday the next week
I said fine let's meet, she cancelled, and I said leave after my birthday please you're as it is here. She didn't talk about here leaving date.
Then the night before my birthday I msg her asking if she's free, she doesn't reply
Then I ask Max, he says "She left tonight only, flight was at 9pm"
She left a day before my birthday without letting me know, without meeting me and Max knows everything? We were alllllll in the same city!
Then we had a fighr, I didn't speak to her on my birthday because she even forgot to wish me. Max and I were spending the day together and I was booking a cab in his phone when I read her msg " What's her problem? Always so angry!"
I replied to her from my phone saying it's my birthday and you forgot it
So now she gets angry with Max, saying he ratted her msgs out to me

Fast forward: she breaks off her friendship with him, 12 year long. Doesn't bother to msg me after my birthday, nothing, not even to patch up or even to breakup. But she does it with him. I decide to end it.
And now after a month, she's messaging him and they're talking. He tells me everything
What hurts is that she was my friend too, and now it doesn't matter to her. She only thought about Max.

Sorry for the long read. Need advice.

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[Ayana]

No I am not angry. It's good you asked a direct question. I would like to know if my friendship with the girl mentioned is worth mending?

[lovebroken]

Sounds like she wants him, that is why talking so much with him and excluding you and meeting up with him and not telling you so only her and him have a nice time out together. I don't think she has been much of a friend to you, I would not bother with her again if a friend treated me this way repeatedly. Why can she find time for max and not you? Why can't she wish you happy bday? Why is she badmouthing you to your own bf behind your back. Her motives are suspicious. Maybe ask to read all texts she sent to max, you might learn more about her reasons from their exchanges.

[Hooo!]

Do you want to mend it?

[Ayana]

Hooo!
I did want to honestly, but what Lovebroken said is also true, she hasn't been a friend to me. And I don't want to take this behaviour from people I care about.

[Snow White]

I agree with lovebroken. Her behavior is not that of a good friend. I don't care for or trust Max's behavior either. He shouldn't be going out with her without telling you.

"He told me he wanted to spend more time with her as they hadn't met for years, I said good spend time but what's that got to do with me. He said I shouldn't be walking with him because Penny will feel weird." None of that feels right and it didn't feel right to you either. I have always been a strong believer that men and women can not be just "friends". Max's behavior seems very shady and insensitive to you.

[Hooo!]

Hooo!
I did want to honestly, but what Lovebroken said is also true, she hasn't been a friend to me. And I don't want to take this behaviour from people I care about.

So you did want to mend before.
But now you don't want to mend anymore ?