Hi guys! It's my first time posting on here, I think I might be too desperate!
Ok so I have a girlfriend (she's my first real relationship and we've been together for 4years) and, every year, we spend the summer in London for work.
Last sunday, we went out with her colleagues but I didn't know anyone except my girlfriend, so I introduced myself to them and I noticed this girl (let's call her A.). We took a bus to go to some pub and she was sat in front of me and I could see her looking at me so I was like ok it's normal we're just sat in front of each other you know. But then we sat at a table in the pub and I was sat next to someone else, and when I decided to go order something, she switched with her friend to sit next to me. And I don't know why but it made me kind of happy?
We spent sometime in the pub and she was being really close to me, always touching me and getting closer to talk to me, I think we were flirting? My girlfriend noticed her interest and told me to be careful.
After that we went to a club then at some point we had to get on the rooftop because some people wanted to smoke a cigarette. There, my girlfriend was busy talking with her friends so A put her arm around my shoulders and told me she really liked me and that I should go out with them more often; later on we were talking about sushis and she even asked my girlfriend if it would not bother her if she took me to a restaurant just by ourselves. At this point I was really avoiding my girlfriend and spent a lot of time with A..
We got to another club, danced and stuff, she kept touching my hands. Then everyone decided it was time to go home but she wanted to keep dancing. Everyone started leaving the club and I was the only one to wait for her as she was trying to convince me to stay to dance more; once she got ready to leave we had to go through the crowd and she gave me her hand (which I grabbed), then turned back to smile at me. We got in the stairs and she stopped. This was a really weird moment, she was looking very deeply into my eyes and I didn't know what to do. She asked me why I did not want to stay with her and I answered that my girlfriend would make me sleep on the sofa if I did so, and she was like "what kind of relationship is that.. everything happens by choice" and stuff and then we left.
And now I just can't stop thinking about all that and everytime I think about her it makes me feel sick, like butterflies but like x1000, I feel really really sick (I don't feel like eating and everything). I just don't know what to do as we're supposed to go out again by the end of the week and I'm completely lost; I have never ever cheated on my girlfriend and it makes me feel bad because, at the same time, it's the first time I get this close to someone else than her since 4 years and like, just one night with this girl and I'm completely confused. I'm a very anxious person and it's the first time I feel so good with someone I just met. I have no idea what to do, plus she's 27 and I'm 19 (we're both girls btw). I'm kind of losing my mind so I just hope you guys will have some advices to give me
Thank you so much for taking the time to read me