My boyfriend doesn't want to attend a wedding I'm in

[knn]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We've been to one wedding together that was for one of my family members. He's made it clear to me that he doesn't like attending weddings (although he has nothing against getting married himself). I'm in a wedding for one of my college friends this fall. My boyfriend doesn't want to attend! His defense is that he hates weddings and doesn't know anyone there. As it is, I only know the 4 other girls attending the wedding from my college. I barely know any of the bridesmaids and don't know any of the bride or grooms family. Every time I bring it up to my girlfriends (bride included) that he doesn't want to attend and probably won't be, they give me such a hard time and tell me it's so weird he doesn't want to go. I see both sides, but it's really stressing me out. I feel like he should suck it up and go, but at the same time i know that it's going to be awkward especially since I'm going to be busy participating in the wedding. What do I do? What do i say to my boyfriend? Or to my friends? No one understands either side. HELP!

[Shoukon]

Would it be ok if he just didn't go since it seems to be a big problem?

[TheEvilJester]

I have to admit that this has always been one that puzzles me a bit as well. I can DEFINITELY understand how he feels. I am not very social myself, so I HATE going to parties/events around a bunch of people I don't know. Even worse, you say you are IN the wedding.... so that means it isn't like he'd even have you there with him. You'll be busy.

On the one hand, if I were in his shoes, I would consider it basically my duty as your long time boyfriend and would go without a second thought even though I REALLY wouldn't want to...... So, my gut instinct is to say he SHOULD just go. ....BUT.... The thing is, he doesn't know anybody that will be there which, by extension, means they don't know him. Why would anybody care whether or not he went? I don't see why it should matter that he doesn't go. It isn't like these are his friends. It sounds like it isn't even somebody you are still actively all that close with. If it were, he'd probably know them at least through them being your friend.

So, really, I don't see why it should matter if he doesn't go. So, I must admit to being equally puzzled on this one. Hopefully others have some thoughts on it. I guess, when it comes down to it, how much does it matter to YOU? If you honestly don't care because you fully understand why he wouldn't want to go to a wedding where he literally knows nobody.... then when your friends give you a hard time about him not coming, just point that out with complete honesty. Just say things like "He doesn't know ANYBODY at that wedding except for me. Why WOULD he want to go to that? If I were in his position, I wouldn't want to either."

If it matters enough to you that you do want him there, then maybe just talk to him about why. This is a bit of a gray area, though. It isn't like it is somebody super close to both of you. Then he definitely should just deal and go. It sounds like the wedding is mostly people even YOU barely know.

[Hooo!]

What?
I don't see the problem
If the girls have a problem they can take it to him

He doesn't want to go because he doesn't like it.
You can be sorry about that but you can't make him come or make him like weddings.
If your friends can't respect such a simple thing I'd seriously not consider them as any friend for that matter. That is so superficial.
At least he is honest. He could otherwise pretend he is ill or anything, but he just says he hates weddings and that's it
And why YOU of all people have to take a hard time for it is beyond me. This doesn't even have to do with you.

Tell your friends Romario bitchin. seriously

That's such cliche american girls and their weddings