Girlfriend is on vacation with her ex

[aya91]

We've been together for about 5 months (I'm 26, she's 20), right after she broke up with her ex. She had planned to spend a week in his cabin this summer, along with two more friends. We talked a lot about it and our relationship is going very well in terms of communication. We have really good sex, see each other every few days and we have a lot of fun together despite the age disparity. She assured me that the past relationship hadn't been going well for a long time and she wasn't attracted to him anymore, but she had planned that week a long time ago and wanted to spend some time with her friends and far away from civilisation and stress. Fair enough. She'll supposedly be sleeping in a room of her own.

Right now my subjective male-judgment tells me that she is happy with me and isn't missing anything, and I trust her. At the same time, it's a somewhat big red flag and it makes me panic. No matter what she says, she used to be attracted to that guy, it was her first boyfriend and they spend 3 years together. I avoid expressing my jealousy (I did tell her I feel a bit uncomfortable), but sometimes it does eat me up on the inside.

Being jealous makes me feel like a controlling idiot, trusting her makes me feel like a fool who's being played.

How should I best deal with the situation?

[pcmaster]

Ex you say. First love you say. For sure dont sounds safe. I think you should trust girls but then again seems really stupid in this situation.

I think you should tell her the truth - that its eating you inside. She should also count with your feelings. Maybe offer her alternative to that trip, together with you.

[Shoukon]

Letting her know what's going on is a good idea. If she still goes and messes up then that's you getting out of a destructive relationship. If she goes and everything goes well, then you learn more about her character.

[Snow White]

First, it sounds like you were her rebound relationship. Next, if I broke up with someone, I don't think I would want to spend vacation time with them. It seems like you are only pretending to be ok with this situation. Nobody likes to come off as being jealous, but I think you need to have a more serious conversation with her about this.