Am I being used?

[Sammi05]

I was seeing someone on and off for 3 years but I ended things because he didn't want to commit to a serious relationship and I'd fallen in love with him. 2 Years have passed by and his got back in contact with me again. He said he just wanted to see how I was and wants to meet up as friends. We talked a bit and I told him I've recently broke up with someone and he said he has too & started telling me about the situation with his ex. I felt a bit hurt as when we was seeing each other he didn't want anything serious but then he clearly went and got in a serious relationship, so makes me feel like it was just me he didn't want to be serious with. I do still have feelings for him and I think its part of the reason my relationship with my ex didn't work out. Now I'm in two minds if to meet up with him as I would like to see if things could work out with us but I'm also feeling that maybe he has only got back in contact with me as he needs a rebound to get over his ex. I don't want to put myself in a situation that I fall for him again and get hurt. What do you think I should do? Do you think his just using me?

[TheEvilJester]

To be honest, my personal gut instinct is always that our exes are our exes for a reason. So my personal advice would be that you should NOT give him another chance. Why exactly would you trust he has changed enough that the same thing won't just happen again? Sure, people CAN change, but they so rarely do. You would honestly more likely be better off by continuing to move forward rather than backward. That doesn't mean you can't be friendly with him, but there is rarely much need to be even close friends with an ex.

Of course, SOMETIMES rekindling an old relationship actually CAN work. So it isn't like I am saying you absolutely, definitely should NOT even think about giving him another chance. It is your life, not mine. You have to do what you think is right. If you sincerely think there could be a chance for you two where there wasn't before, then you should give it a try if you want. At least, though, do so with some thought in the back of your mind that things may just end the same way. At least until you feel comfortable enough to believe he has changed. In other words, don't let your guard down too much too quickly.

Again, though, my personal advice would be to just move on and look for love elsewhere. You have to do what is right for you. I just personally feel old relationships so rarely work when you try to get back together and usually just wind up ending for the same reasons.

Good luck to you either way.