Very difficult situation

[Axden27]

Hello readers this is my first ever post, so sorry if it seems quite awkward and different compared to other posts but I’m not quite sure how to write it all. I’ve been going through a very difficult and awkward situation regarding an ex lover and I feel that a place like this would be ideal to talk about it because none of you know me meaning you won’t have any bias towards me in the situation.
Anyway, I am 16 years of age, but very mature for my age before you click off and decide this isn’t worth the read. I have been in quite a few relationships before in my life, none of which have ever been successful which is to be expected at my age, most of which were just internet relationships where I knew the person from school or whatever, but we’d only ever speak online. This was because I have very bad social skills and so speaking to girls online was my only way of communicating with them really because after excessively talking online things would become awkward with us in person making it very difficult to have a lasting relationship. I am generally a very nice, caring person who has no real troubles with anyone in particular but myself really. Due to the nature of my social awkwardness I had never kissed a girl or anything like that and everyone else I knew had and it made me feel awful, back last year at this time I was with a girl but we never spoke in person and it was awful as a whole we never even hugged and we were together for about 6 months, I decided to end the relationship as I wasn’t happy with how things were going and decided to focus on myself for a bit. A few months went by after the breakup and a new girl came along, she hung around with me and my other male friends during lessons and so I felt really comfortable around her and we had some great conversations and I felt happy for the first time in months. She eventually started to fall for my best friend, though I wasn’t bothered by this because I never saw her as more than a friend to me. Eventually she started speaking to me to get advice on how to speak to my best friend, but it was while we were speaking that we realised it was each other that we really loved, and from then on we spent every day with each other after school for hours saying “we’re here to do work” when in reality we’d sit there for hours looking into each other’s eyes getting to know each other and just having an all round lovely time. One time after school it was just us two in the room and She asked “how come you’ve never kissed anyone before?” And mid answer she leaned in and we made out like 3 times. These were the happiest times in my life so far, she made me so happy and comfortable all the time, she’d always go out of her way for me and I knew she was the one for me as I’d never met anyone like her before and the fact she was absolutely stunning too really helped, she ticked every single one of my boxes, even my parents questioned how I managed to get a girl that beautiful the first time I brought her home. Eventually I asked her to be mine to which she said yes, and things were amazing. I was so happy and in love and so was she, our replies were instant over message and I couldn’t think of any way anything could ruin how I felt. Eventually her replies began to slow down quite a lot as GCSE’s approached (she is a very hard working person and so did lots and lots of revision) I am significantly less so, and would just sit in bed all day waiting for her to reply as she was the only person I’d ever speak to. I asked her why her replies were slow, she said that it was because she was always revising and that she promised after gcses everything would go back to normal and we’d have 10 weeks together and have an amazing time.
Things never did get better. Her replies were just as slow after the exams, I questioned her again and she said that during the exams she got used to life without a phone and so wasn’t willing to go out of her way to message me. I’ll admit I am very high maintenance and do require constant attention or else I start to lose my mind a little, but anyway we went on with our 10 weeks without school, we’d see each other maybe once or twice a week because she was very family oriented and saw them most of the time. Eventually at the end of the 10 weeks I went on holiday to Spain for a week, and the day before I got back she went on holiday for 2 weeks.
It was awful, her replies were bad anyway but now she was on holiday everything got worse, she was trying to conserve data so messaged me maybe once or twice a day and even then it would only ever be about the waiters there looking at her provocatively and trying to speak to her which made me feel awful. Eventually her data ran out, for the last 4 days of her holiday I couldn’t speak to her at all and I was losing my mind, all I could think about were the problems in our relationship and it was driving me insane. On the night before we got back I posted a Snapchat story asking anyone to message me, so I could speak about how I felt and release some stress.
5 people messaged me, 4 listened to me and explained that I’m probably just being like that because I miss her and that’s once she got back I’d be happy again, the 5th girl continued the conversation on after we had discussed how I felt, eventually becoming rather flirty and provocative. Being a teenage boy in my prime obviously it put me into that mindset and bad things happened, she sent me inappropriate videos and although I sent nothing properly back, the fact I didn’t tell her to stop is bad enough. I hated myself, and I still do now over a month on from it, straight after I messaged the girl saying that it was all a mistake and that I never mean to anything by it and that id like her to forget it happened and not tell anyone, she said “of course, don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, I’m not a bitch”

My girlfriend came back from holiday the next day, all of my problems and stress went away. I was just so happy and delighted to hear her soft voice and see her beautiful face again that I had no cares in the world, she came round my house and seeing her 5”1 gorgeous self in person for the first time in weeks made me want to cry with joy, we spent the day together and she went home and it was one of the best days of my life. A few days passed and it was results day, I didn’t go with her but I did see her there, she did absolutely amazingly with her lowest grade being a B I think and an assortment of A’s and A*’s I was overwhelmed with joy for her, although very jealous because I didn’t do as well. We both went on with our day she went to see all of her family I stayed at home by myself whenever suddenly the girl I cheated with messaged me again,
“So what now?” She said, my heart sank, I knew things were to only go downhill from here, we hadn’t a heated discussion with her asking me if I’d ever tell my girlfriend and i was saying that I wouldn’t because It would ruin things. Eventually she said “if you don’t tell her, I will.”
My heart broke at the sight of this message, I had panic attacks and wanted to throw up several times.
Eventually that night I told my girlfriend, she was absolutely distraught to say the least, we stayed together for two days but eventually she had had enough and her family convinced her to break up with me. It’s been a month since then, we’ve tried everything, I tried speaking to her exactly How I would when we were together but she told me i annoyed her, she said it’s nothing I do in particular but just the sight of me pisses her off now. I gave her space, it was too difficult for both of us, we tried being friends but it’s was also too difficult. Eventually I left my friends because I felt I could never speak to them about any of this and found new friends, I was comfortable speaking with them about everything and things were great but one of these friends sits next to my ex girlfriend in lessons and they’ve developed very close friendship, so now at school I am forced to hang around with her and watch her and my friend get closer and closer right in front of me and there is nothing I can do. We had a huge argument last night and she said that she doesn’t think we can speak any more
I’ve tried everything, I’ve brought up the many mistakes that I forgave her for and asked why she couldn’t forgive me and give me a second chance, but nothing works. I want to move on but I have to see her so much every day at school and even more now that shes wedged herself into my new friendship
All she ever does is talk about boys messaging her and the people From holiday staring at her and it’s got to the point where it is driving me insane, all I want is her back because she changed my life and I won’t find another girl like her again
I don’t think I can cope any more, please someone help me and give me some advice
Thankyou in advance if you’ve read the whole story to the end it does mean a lot

[Banuel Dogayman]

Broken heart is absouletly unconvinient situation...
Especially if you see your ex everyday,but first of all,to move on,you have to put the past behind you.Later you have to work on yourself and make yourself stronger!
I would like you help you my friend

[amberXnight]

It sounds like you sent nesserliy the problem here. I think she just used your mistake as an excuse to leave. You said that she had been acting very distant even before you guys broke up! I know what it's like to be a girl and the first thing we do when we sent interested anymore is start to ignore you, hoping that you will get tired and dump is so we dont have to deal with the guilt. And her hooking up with your friend just adds to the fact that she is immature and probably wants attention. She didn't love you, I am a girl and know how this type of girl is.. she just had a crush or something but if she really loved you she wouldn't have left you for that stupid ass reason( I have forgiven My BF for way worse.
Trust me there are other girls out there who will fill your void

[StayStrong23]

Holy cow! I am sorry you are going through this. I can feel the desperation in your words. One thing I noticed while reading your post though...if you're interested in reading my point of view.

You stated by saying you were socially awkward with girls and only talked to them online. Then, when you weren't even looking, you found her, and over time, that developed into your first love relationship. After that, you met someone else (even though that led to something less than desirable) but it shows that your social skills have matured and developed. Maybe not as awkward? Maybe a little more comfortable meeting and talking to girls? You see where I am going with this? You are growing socially and becoming a stronger person.

The silver lining in this dark cloud is that it seems to me you experienced a lot of learning from this relationship. You learned that meeting and talking to and going out with girls is not impossible. You learned what is inappropriate and what can happen when you do inappropriate things while in a relationship. You learned that you can and will meet other girls and can and will make other friends.

So, maybe chalk this one up as a learning point and move on. Just like this relationship, you will probably meet someone else when you least expect it, but you will be able to use this experience to make sure your next relationship is strong. And the next one even stronger than that. And the next one even stronger. That's life.

Hang in there!