3-4 great monthe together changed over a single night

[lestat]

hi everyone,

i'm kinda stuck her.
i had relation with an amazing girl for about 3-4 months and everything was really great.
we lived about 45 mins away from eachother and both had difficult work times but still we tried to spend as much time as possible together.
for those 3-4 months it felt great i really fell in love with her and she with me or atleast she said, ive met her parents and brother/sister in law, and she met my family and daughter, we all got along really well, she had a long relationship before
she met me in wich her ex boyfriend cheated on her and that's why they broke up, she took about 1 year for herself until she started dating again.

after our first date we both felt really good and our second followed closely after, after our third date we deceided to be a couple for reall.
but i knew she was someone you had to be patient with and she thanked me alot for being so patient with her. now fast forward to last weekend. we planned to go on a holiday together from last saturday but friday morning she texted me she was feeling really bad and scared and she didn't want to go anymore (the week before she still said she was really looking forward to it and she hated not seeing me for a while because of some family issues and she being out of the country for a week) i asked her what was going on and why she changed her mind. but she said she didn't know what was happening that she just woke up that way and didn't know what to do, so we cancelled the trip, later that day she texted me she was going to sleep but didn't really know what to say but still wanted to text me something, next morning she asked me if she could come over to pick up her stuff because she wanted to break up.

when she was here we had a litle chat of about 5-10 min and she said she discussed it with her parents and brother and they also thought she just wasn't ready to have a new relation yet. she said that if she would have been ready we would have stayed together for a long time, she also regretted this happening now but she couldn't help it and she said she might even regret it after a week or month or so but she didn't want to tag me along this way and be honest towards me, i asked her if anything else was wrong and she said not otherwise she would tell me, she thanked me for out great time together but that she thinks it's better to have no contact now because that would be the fastest way to make things clear for her. she also said she didn't want me to wait for her and if i meet somebody else it would be her loss also that her eveything she said was true (she told me she loved me etc)

i couldn't do more than tell her what i felt for her was really and that i'm really dissapointed but that i wish her and her family the best for the future.

just a sidenote: she is a really honest and straight to the point person, never caught her lying and i know that's not the kind of person she is.

now what i'm stuck with is, do i have a chance to get back together with her and should i really not text her?
6 November is her birthday, should i send her a text than or anything? it would be 26 days of no contact by then.
also is there any chance she will text me in the comming weeks orso?
or might she reach out when she thinks she ready to have a relation?
we broke up on 14 October and didn't contact eahother since that day.

i know she said not to wait but she's really amazing and worth giving some time since i really see us having a great future together if she is ready

i really could use some help with this situation, scared ive lost her forever

thanks in advance

[thepainisreal]

Hi mate,

I am in the exact same position. It is weird how similar my situation is.

I started dating this girl about 2 months ago. The different in my situation is she said from the start she didn't want anything serious and needed to get things out of her system. She had only just broken up from a 1 year relationship 2 months prior to meeting me. She was the one who broke it off though and said she checked out of it a long time before it ended. So I assumed it may be ok to keep seeing her.

We got along amazing, things moved quick and we spoke every day and stayed with each other 2-3 times a week. We ended up going away on a 2 day holiday together, where she became more affectionate than ever and even talked about going on a holiday in the future.

It was after this everything changed.

During a conversation about whether we would date other people; she basically told me she wasn't ready for anything serious still and couldn't commit to an exclusive relationship. She said she needed time on her own before she had another relationship. I don't think she's ever really been on her own. That was 1 week ago today. At the time she was confused and didn't know what to do because she obviously liked me, but she also knew she needed to have time on her own. I told her I would not contact her and if she missed me when she will realise and call me, otherwise it isn't mean to be.

Her birthday was on a few days after that, and it was so hard for me because obviously you want to be there on someones bday when you care for them. I also work in the same building with her which makes things really hard. I ended up seeing her the morning of her bday at work and asked how she was etc, she said she would talk about it but not at work. In hindsight I shouldn't have asked her on her bday let alone at work.

I messaged her later that night and apologised I couldn't go to her drinks. I asked if she wanted to catch up during the week sometime instead and basically she dodged it.

I now have accepted that it is completely over. I wish I didn't contact her, but I had to to get closure.

Unfortunately for both you and me, it was the wrong timing. I know this girl had feelings for me, but I also know she has things on her end she needs to clear up before getting into another relationship to save jeopardising future ones.

I know it sucks but be thankful ours happened 2-3 months into it rather than 2-3 years down the track, or even further.

I know it is extremely hard, but don't contact her. If and when they are ready, they will contact us. Until then you have to accept it is over and move on. Take a lesson from me; I contacted her and got nothing.