Hello,
I have decided to post online about my situation as, being honest, I feel ashamed I'm in this situation.
I had been with my boyfriend for about 9 months, although the last 2 months have been hell.
The problem is that I don't know if the way I was treated was fair.
My boyfriend would shout at me a lot. Actually he shouted at me after our second date. I thought at that time it was just a bad day, but this continued throughout our relationship.
It didn't stop there, in the last 2 months he has called me every name under the sun. He has told me to kill myself, that my life isn't worth living.
In arguments he never let me talk and would do the obligatory shouting, if it was over the phone he would put the phone down. One day he put the phone down on me 30 times and when I got into university I was shaking. All through the hanging up, I'm calling him back and being abused, just because I wanted to resolve the argument. He has chucked me out of his place at the most awkward times knowing I rely on public transport. If he gets in an argument with me he will ignore me for days on end until I talk to him. He said that this behaviour is a right reaction to me accusing him. I have explained to him that this behaviour just makes me more insecure and is only going to make me accuse him more.
The last time he broke up with me the conversation was over the phone and it was as follows:
Me: I think I'm going to need help when I go back to the gym. I feel a bit unconfident
Him: you will be fine, youre more than capable.
Me: do you not want to help me at the gym?
Him: oh why do you have to take everything negatively. Youre now telling me how I feel. that pisses me off
It continued with me trying to explain I was asking a question, not telling him how he feels and him hanging up on me. To which I didn't call back and left it.
Then when we met up yesterday after a while the subject came up.
He was saying I said 'oh, so you don't want to help me at the gym.'
I said 'this is a pathetic argument, I didn't say that. So basically I asked the question wrong? is that fair?'
Him 'no you said "based on that you don't want to help me at the gym"'
I said 'so now youre changing what you claim I said... Oh does it matter. This is stupid'
Him 'go away'
so I walked off and thought that is it, I have had enough.
Then he came up to me and said 'why do I have to take the blame for that?'
I said 'I'm not chasing you anymore. Goodbye'
he then asks again I said 'goodbye'
Then I walked to my bus stop and he followed me, but I walked off very fast. I had had enough.
Then he approached me at my bus stop and started talking nice for the first time in ages. It was odd because its normally me begging him to give it more of a go despite how bad he is to me. This is the part that I'm ashamed of. That I'm begging a man that is so awful to me to stay with me. I feel pathetic.
Also, throughout our meeting he wanted me to take the blame for everything. I don't really care whos fault it is. I just want stuff resolved.
I just feel like I don't know what to feel. I cry all the time.
I feel this is emotional abuse, but I'm not sure.
What should I do?
is there anyone who has been in a similar situation with a guy?
I hope I get some replies.
thanks for reading