What Am I Doing? Really?

[APandaBear]

Hey guys.
I've been wrestling with this issue for about a month now. The relationship between my fiance and I is long: 9 years and 4 months. We've been engaged for 1 1/2 years now, unable to get married due to my graduate school funding (which i'm starting to feel as though that is a bit of a blessing, honestly). He's very dedicated and so have I. This is my first serious relationship and his as well. Now, let's get into the nitty gritty.

We were essentially having a discussion in bed one night, and when I went to weigh in one something he said "what you say is irrelevant, it doesn't matter", because HE didn't deem it important. I told him how I felt and he admitted to me that he sometimes feels as though he'd rather I didn't have an opinion and that I just listen to him. It was hurtful, and it started to make me question our relationship. He has always been rather judgmental, likes to argue points and constantly play devil's advocate rather than be supportive, gets frustrated easily, and can be very stuck up his own behind sometimes. These are things that I didn't notice until I started living with him 4 years ago. I figured they were character flaws and every couple has issues, but... yeah. Shame on me. I'm 2 years from graduating, leaving me 2 years to think this over.

What makes this hard is how helpful he has been to me. He has been with me through my epilepsy all these years. I don't drive due to this so he takes me everywhere. He has supported me while I went to school, helped me pay for things, and we always talk things out; we are very communicative. I have told him about this and he has cried, saying that he wants to stay together because he'll never find someone as perfect as me. I depend on him a lot, and I feel that leaving him would be shooting myself in the foot; but if that's the case then I'm just using the guy.

Seriously, what in the hell do I do at this point? Have just been in the dark this entire freakin' time?
Also, if you actually read all of this, thanks

[Hooo!]

I don’t understand the problem

Sorry