What do you do to control your anger at a situation or a person?

[CantMoveOn]

Any helpful tips? Other than self-medicate.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, ultimately if possible, the best way would be to deal with the situation. If it is something that can be setteld/fixed, that would certainly help.

But, in the interim, there are plenty of ways that can at least help. I think the most effective options fall under two different categories. Either A) pleasant distractions or B) positively focusing the angry energy elsewhere.

For example, for option A you could choose to distract yourself with something fun. Whatever that may be for you, be it a movie, some pleasant music, art, writing, video games, or whatever. For option B you could exercise, you could listen to angry music, you could write an angry e-mail (but address it to yourself so you aren't tempted to actually send it) where you tell the person off for what they did. Just helps to get it all out, but then don't actually send it to them after.

Any number of things can help you to feel better. Again, though, if the situation persists, they will only be temporary. So ultimately best to deal with the situation in whatever way may be best. Could mean eliminating the person from your life in a worst case scenario, or it could simply just mean talking to them about it once you've been able to cool down a bit and hopefully working things out.

Good luck to you either way.

[johnbgb]

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d()gmail.com, he has the charm to make everything right for you. Trust me

[lovebroken]

I usually talk to another person, one I trust that is never judgmental and is a good listener and they usually will let me vent and problem solve. Once I talk about it, if not possible because of the upset/hurt/or anger caused by the origanting person I will feel calmer.

[Exeter19]

when i am upset at a person i know and cannot discuss things with them because the situation is way too heated i will usually go train, workout, hang with other friends and play bb. anything that changes my mind off that person and their drama and after time has passed i will then text them to talk in person.

[lovebroken]

I used to do yoga, would and wouldn't help depending on the level of upset I was in. Listening to music calms me though.

[GLYC]

You eventually just learn how to channel yourself. Emotional control takes a lot of strength. But its manageable.
Eventually you apply that into your romantic life. I don't rely on techniques or anything,but if you feel the need to act out, dont.
Take time, recollect yourself, possibly sleep on it. And come back to it. It's much better to revisit things then it is to explode.

I was a Correctional guard for a while, and it really helped condition myself. I was abused all the time, but it never really got to me. Why? Because I valued myself.
I would put people in their place and stand up for myself. But the strongest and best way to do that was to remain calm, objective and collective.
Delivering messages like "How you handled this was disrespectful" versus raising your voice and yelling obscenities always had a more powerful effect.

Raising your voice, and yelling just adds fuel to the drama. You want to be the mountain. You cut drama out of your life, not create it.

I will recommend you start working out if you haven't already, even just a half hour a day will benefit you greatly and you will feel much better about yourself.
More level headed, and confident.

[breathe123]

Do you have a pet, [MENTION=85495]CantMoveOn[/MENTION]? Pets are great stress relievers, imo. A dog you can go play fetch with & walk when upset & cats you can pet & listen to purrs, snuggle up, have them play [ if they feel like it, lol] I am quick to give my opinion if someone disrespects me so holding my tongue is an issue so if I don't want to sever ties directly I will sit * wait then approach that agitator of me.

[TheEvilJester]

I can't believe I didn't think of that myself. I love animals and generally almost always have at least one pet. No matter how mad, sad, depressed, upset or whatever negative emotion I may have on a given day... I feel at least a little better coming home to an adorable little furry friend who is happy to see me there.

[topazlight]

I ignore them, assholes who instigate hate to be ignored and I feel a pure pleasure knowing these fools are stewing in being ignored

[lovebroken]

Do you have a pet, [MENTION=85495]CantMoveOn[/MENTION]? Pets are great stress relievers, imo. A dog you can go play fetch with & walk when upset & cats you can pet & listen to purrs, snuggle up, have them play [ if they feel like it, lol] I am quick to give my opinion if someone disrespects me so holding my tongue is an issue so if I don't want to sever ties directly I will sit * wait then approach that agitator of me.

So true. My Hazel has been a real blessing to me.

[dollhouse]

Do you have a pet, [MENTION=85495]CantMoveOn[/MENTION]? Pets are great stress relievers, imo. A dog you can go play fetch with & walk when upset & cats you can pet & listen to purrs, snuggle up, have them play [ if they feel like it, lol] I am quick to give my opinion if someone disrespects me so holding my tongue is an issue so if I don't want to sever ties directly I will sit * wait then approach that agitator of me.

This is 100% true..my pets have always done this for me... even as a little girl... such loyal loving friends to you..never judge always comfort and then can bring you down to a rational clam when most others things might not be able too.

[CantMoveOn]

Thank you to all who replied to my thread and question.

Appreciate all the good advice and thoughtful posts. Things got so bad they had nowhere to go but up. So, up they went and are a smidge bit better at the moment. Many tears were cried by me during and probably will again in the future. I will take all the good advice on board

I have a kittycat, and they help when not being anti-social lol

[lovebroken]

What's your cat's name? Have you ever posted a photo of them here? Glad you are feeling a bit better.

[lovebroken]

Bump in case you still want this thread to remain open for others and yourself.