Looong post, but I'm really lost here.

[anonymous4]

Start:
I've been living in the same building as the girl I'm in love with for a couple of months now. We've known each other for years, and we started hooking up pretty much the same day as we started living in the same building. It was 6 weeks with constant calling on the phone, we hung out for a couple of hours almost every day and we sent each other these sweet texts with hearts and told each other how much we like the other person and everything was really good. She told me about how her previous relationship was really bad and how it has affected her afterwards, with her "putting up walls" and being scared to let someone get to close to her. But while talking about this, she also told me how over these 6 weeks she's really come to like me in a way she has never felt with anyone before and that she's working to let me get past her walls.

Forward to the past two weeks:
This girl is super busy(she's working two jobs and studying), and 2 weeks ago she had to travel to the other side of the country for her studies. The hearts in the texts suddenly stopped, we didn't call more than once the entire week and the communication in general was far less "flirty" than just the week before. I figured she might need some space, considering she's so busy with all her stuff, from work to studies, so I tried to not force anything and didn't call her or flirt trough texts as well.

When she came home last Friday night, she spent the night at her dads house before she went straight to work the other day. This job is taking care of a person with special needs, who sleeps at her apartment and so it's no time for me to hang out with the girl I'm in love with. On Sunday she also takes care of this girl, but that's only up til 8 in the evening. She asked me if I wanted to hang out after that, and I of course said yes, as I was dying to see her after almost to weeks with her being away.
Then at 10 in the evening I get a message saying her mother is sick and that she's staying at her place for the night to take care of her(separated parents). I'm of course worried for her mother, and have no problem with her staying there to take care of her.

Last two days:
Yesterday she called me after work and we talked on the phone for a good 30 minutes, and she asked me if I wanted to hang out in the evening. Again I say yes, as I still really want to see her. We don't set a time, as we both got stuff to do before we get home, but it's understood that we'll hang out from about 8. When the clock is 9 I send her a text and asks if she's had to spend the night at her mom’s house again. She replies 45 minutes later that she's been visiting her earlier and that she's fine. The reason I haven't heard from her this time is that she's been on the phone for over an hour with her best friend(which she hasn't talked to for a long time due to all the work and school), and that she's getting ready for bed. She says sorry for not telling me.

Today she sent me a message at 4 asking if I'm home, as she's leaving for work in a couple of minutes. I'm 5 minutes away from home, and so I drive home just to get to see her for the first time in almost two weeks. We meet in the hallway and talk for a couple of minutes before she leaves. What threw me with this meeting is two things: we just hugged(we've always been kissing earlier), and that she said to me "it's actually really good to see you, even with all this stress". Then she says "talk to you later?" and have to run to get to work on time.

To me this is all very confusing, and I am really worried she's moving away from the relationship we were kind of starting about 6 weeks back.
I understands she has a lot on her plate, with her two jobs, a sick mother and studies, but it feels like she was way better at finding time to hang out in the earlier weeks than in the past days when she's been home.

Am I being very selfish for wanting her to at least come by and say hello, or should I just keep my distance now with everything going on and let her take the time she needs?
Keep in mind that this truly is the girl I want to be with, and I'm scared of losing her by pushing her in any sort of way.
Do you think my chance is blown, or is this just a faze she has to work through, thanks to all the other stuff that's happening?

[madotnw_nihs]

So are you two officially dating?

[anonymous4]

I'm guessing we at least were officially dating before she left for her studies. She told her parents and her friends about us, so I guess that's kind of official. But the last couple of weeks it's been so different that I really don't know.

[Snow White]

You must remember that when a relationship first starts, it's new and exciting. Everything seems great, especially if you are coming out of a lousy relationship. After a little while, things calm down and real life starts to settle in again. The hearts and flirtations are bound to come to an end.

She is still calling you and wanting to hang out, but life keeps getting in the way. I don't think you are being selfish. Of course you want to spend time with her. Don't make yourself distant. You are feeling insecure and thinking she doesn't want to be with you, but that is not how it feels to me.

I do think you should let her know how much you miss her, though. Seeing that you know how busy and hard working she is, see if you can set up a special date night. How about YOU send her a sweet, flirtatious hearts text?

[anonymous4]

Thanks for your answer, Snow White.

Later on Tuesday night I sent her a text saying “ I know you’re really busy and are having crazy long days, but I just wanted to say that if there’s anything I can help you with to make your days easier, please tell me”. She answered with a heart and told what a nice guy I was.

Yesterday I asked if she wanted to hang out. She’s always the one asking, so I figured I should ask, even though I feel like it’s impossible to time it right considering how busy she is. She was too busy to hang out yesterday, but said we maybe could try today.

Now she’s home with a friend of her, and said she’d tell me if her friend leaves before bedtime. I feel pretty certain her friend won’t leave before she’s getting ready for bed, so it will end with us not hanging out tonight either.