About a year ago I went through a break up over what I thought was a fixable thing. However we’re both very prideful and stubborn people and that never happened. He hates to be alone so I wasn’t surprised when he started dating someone right away. It took me much longer. About six months later after a guy I had been dating and I broke up. My ex found out I was single and took that opportunity to tell me that he regretted letting me leave and that there hasn’t been a day since that he didn’t regret it. All this while he was dating and living with the girl he started dating after we broke up. So we decided to give it another try. But that didn’t last long because the girl and her kids were still living in his house and in those 6 months that they had been together she became besties with his ex-wife & completely turned his children against me. So when they found out he was spending time with me there was a big commotion.
Long story short, he thought he needed to stay with the other girl because his kids liked her. So we broke things off again. Which restarted the whole cycle I had been going through for the entire previous six months. Only this time after hearing him say that he knew he wanted to get back together all that time we had been apart, and hearing all of his feelings on the subject, he picked the other option instead because he thought that’s what the kids wanted, that hurt much much worse.
So, shortly after we parted our ways the last time a friend of a friend started pursuing me. After I turned him down several times I finally gave him a shot. We hit it off right away and started officially dating shortly after that. Was I ready to date? Meh, maybe not yet, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit around and mourn the loss of someone that chose someone else over me. So I continued with life. Well a few weeks ago, the guy I had been dating totally surprised me and purposed. I told him yes. In all honesty he is the type of guy I’ve been looking for and the amount of things we have in common with each other is unreal. But now, I’m not sure if it’s just my mind going into overdrive or what, but I can’t get the ex out of my head. Our relationship wasn’t perfect by any means but I loved that man with my whole heart. I don’t know if I’m capable of loving like that again.
What I’m hoping you can help with is, have any of you had a situation like this? Being addicted to someone that repeatedly hurts you. So addicted that it’s clouding your life with someone else that would never hurt you in those same ways. I’m afraid that I’m never going to be able to stop wondering how things could’ve turned out with my ex, and it’ll ruin my future.