My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference

[sweetguy18]

My parents don’t believe in our relationship because of the age difference, need advice please!!!

I just want to clarify, my parents are good people. They don’t mean to be offensive, I guess they’re just not used to the concept of such a large age gap between partners. For a bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. We met on this site called Loveme, and as far as relationships go, this might be my best one.

She’s really intelligent, sometimes it feels like she’s smarter than me. She’s funny, and just hearing her voice on the other side of the line can turn a bad day around. I see a future with this woman, and it’s amazing. Now here’s the catch: she’s 26, and I’m 38. We don’t see a problem with it, age really isn’t an issue. Our friends are genuinely happy for us.

But when I introduced her to my family a few months ago, they completely closed themselves off from our relationship. They think it’s “improper” that I’m dating someone so young, and everytime they call, the first thing they ask is if we’re still together. I want them to be happy for us, especially since I’m planning on proposing. Their support would mean so much for our relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How did you guys handle it? Any advice would really help out a lot.

[Snow White]

I thought I was going to read that she was a teenager, but she is 26..a mature woman. 12 years would be a lot if she was 19 for instance and you were 31. Is it a cultural thing for your parents?

It would be nice to get their blessing, but they may not give it. Hopefully after time goes by, they will be able to accept their daughter-in-law. Remember, your wife trumps your parents. Make it clear that you love her very much and you expect them to treat her well. Usually, time heals all and they will come to their senses.

[madotnw_nihs]

I agree, 38 and 26 is normal. If this women is the one, I agree with Snow. Put your foot down with your parents. I think they will come around after awhile.

[Hooo!]

What have you done to make them change their disrespectful behaviour?

[TheEvilJester]

I thought I was going to read that she was a teenager, but she is 26..a mature woman. 12 years would be a lot if she was 19 for instance and you were 31.

Snow basically echoes my exact thoughts right there. An age difference CAN be a deal breaker.... but I don't see why YOURS should be one. At 26 and 38, people are generally in pretty similar stages in life. Snow makes exactly the point I had in mind. 12 years COULD seem like too big a difference. If you were 31 and her 19.... that's very different stages of life. Sure, both are technically adults.... but 19 years olds often times tend to still be figuring life out. They aren't yet sure of where they are ultimately headed in many things.

38 and 26.... generally those aren't so different. Again, in both of those cases, I emphasize generally. There are plenty of 19 year olds who are way more adult than some 38 year olds. There are some 38 year olds still clinging to childish ways and refusing to grow up. So, it is all relative.

Now, what can you do to make your family accept it? Unfortunately, very little. Honestly, all you really can do is to continue to enjoy the relationship. If you two remain together and things continue to go well (and even progress) then at some point hopefully your family will realize it is the real thing. Hopefully they will come to accept it and realize their mistake. At the heart of it, I suspect they don't MEAN to be insensitive. I think they just care for you and think you are going to get hurt. True, they should support you, but hopefully given time they will realize their mistake.

Good luck to you.

[CantMoveOn]

That is a reasonable and respectable age difference. Makes me wonder if something else isn't bothering your folks.

[astrologerlove9]

My father was born in 1886 and my mother in 1902. Although it was his 4th marriage, both his previous wives were dead. The strangest thing was that I had a step sister who was only 3 years younger than my mother. Discussing this recently with my daughter, I discovered that one of her friends had parents with a 28 year age difference and her step sister was 16 years older than her mother. There is many Free love problem solution provider you must contact them.

[Jolenesmith615]

You should make your parent see a strong reason why you need to be together

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You should make your parent see a strong reason why you need to be together

[rjkennedy]

Hi my friend,

Interesting post. By the sound of your letter, it appears you and your lady really love each other and really want to make things work. Congrats to you both. As far as your parents are concerned, they're making it hard for you. Been there. Done that! (my mom issue wasn't with age, it was race. Although she would never admit it, her actions showed).

My friend, although I know you love your parents, you just have to turn your back on them. Who are you living your life for, them or you? Do what's best for you. It's your life. You're grown!

I know it's gonna hurt a bit because your parents probably won't be at your wedding. (mine wasn't at my wedding either)! But did that stop me from moving forward? Well, you can bet your sweet britches it didn't! All was good!

Somewhere down the road, your parents will eventually accept you and your lady. They'll be a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. Don't let that bother you. It's all part of life. If you'd like to read some interesting articles I wrote on love, dating and relationships, go to the link in my signature below. Let me know how things go. Good luck!

[TheEvilJester]

My friend, although I know you love your parents, you just have to turn your back on them. Who are you living your life for, them or you? Do what's best for you. It's your life. You're grown!

I know it's gonna hurt a bit because your parents probably won't be at your wedding. (mine wasn't at my wedding either)! But did that stop me from moving forward? Well, you can bet your sweet britches it didn't! All was good!

I don't know if I necessarily agree that such a drastic measure is definitely warranted YET.... but I will definitely agree with rjkennedy that this may at least need to be a Plan Z sort of reaction if your parents simply refuse to accept your relationship. It is one thing for them to have concerns for you because they care about you. But, at the end of the day you are adult and they have to let you be an adult. Even if they think you are making a mistake, they have to let you make your own mistakes. They need to be mature enough and trust you enough to make your own decisions and hope that they turn out to be wrong anyway.

If they CAN'T do that, then there may well come a time where you DO have to say goodbye to them.... albeit HOPEFULLY only temporarily. But, when it comes down to it, if you are your gal are moving forward with your relationship and all is going well, you have to support your partner. If they can't accept her, then you should look at that as though they are not accepting you, and that is not okay.

Hopefully you don't have to go that far. Like I said, I would consider that a Plan Z, basically. A last resort, worst case scenario sort of thing. Sometimes parents can just be stubborn. If things continue to go well for you and your lady, hopefully in time they will see they were wrong and you will never even have to consider this drastic measure. Good luck to you.