Boyfriend wants to hang out with my friends..

[winteriscoming]

I know, the title of this thread you're probably thinking "...Okay, what's wrong with that..?"

I mentioned to this guy I recently started dating that I was going to go out on the town with a few my friends tonight. He looked confused and asked "Oh, am I not invited?" So of course I shot back right away, "No, of course you are! Come out!"

To be honest though, as much as I like the guy, I did kind of want some time on my own with my buddies. Now my friends are a group of men and women, so it's not exactly a girls night. But I guess it would just be nice to go out with my friends without having to worry about if someone else was having fun/felt comfortable. He came out with us the other day and was very quiet, so I spent most my time chatting with him, making sure he didn't feel left out (I enjoy his company and he's talkative with me). Then of course, some other friends were annoyed because they took this as me acting very "couple-y" when they wanted to get to know him, although now that I think about it, it's not like they reached out and asked him questions either... Just can't seem to make all parties happy..

So is it wrong for me to just want to go out one night and not have to worry about this kind of thing? I do feel like a bit of an ice queen for even having that thought. He doesn't really have many friends here as he's not from this city, and he kind of mentioned that he was hoping my friends could become his. 1) Is that normal? I know it's difficult to meet friends as an adult.. 2) Am I wrong for wanting a night on my own? Do I just need to adjust to being part of a couple now (I've always been very career focused/solo and haven't dated too much so I guess I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to act..) 3) How can I facilitate him being friends with them when he's so darn quiet!?

[GLYC]

Nah, I agree with you, I think it's normal, I actually encourage/love when women I date do this, I think it's nice having some separate time. I need it too. It's healthy.
I always abide by the principle, "You must love in such a way the other person feels free"

Although I do get his standpoint, he doesn't know many people, but I definitely wouldn't have said that as a guy.
But for a woman, it's kind of a red flag, women analyze this stuff and on your radar, it can be a signal of possible future clinginess.
Even if it wasn't an intentional thing, it obviously triggered in you, as you felt compelled to make this thread.

I honestly would have said "Okay have fun honey, lemme know if you need a ride later or anything!"
And then I'd just do my own thing. Lol.

[Hooo!]

Stop wishing for him to be someone else socially and start loving who he is

Also be able to discuss this with him instead of with us