A valentines card expressing my feelings?

[devonboy]

Me and this girl I really like have been talking for a while now, we're both not used to relationships or anything of the kind really and so we've had a few bumps in the road since we started talking but since the turn of the year I feel like its been going really well and might be time to start thinking about moving things forward. she told me at the very end of last year she still wasnt sure what she wanted us to be but since then things have gone well, we've been on a couple dates to coffee shops last year and I went to her house a couple weeks ago when it was just me and her, she is very nervous and suffers from anxiety we fell into each others lives because we both work in the same place. Im 23 and never been in a realtionship shes 22 and her last boyfriend treated her really badly.

I've bought her a card for valentines day and was wondering if I should write down my feelings in the card to let her know how I truly feel, Im really not good at expressing my feelings in person or just talking in person to be honest and I do have a small talent for creative writing so I feel like writing it down would be a good idea.


Any advice or suggestions about this whole situation would be helpful thank you!

[TheEvilJester]

Honestly, maybe this is just me but I would not personally recommend that. It's one thing if you two had already made your feelings clear to each other, you were already boyfriend/girlfriend. Then that could be really nice/sweet to write something like that in a card for Valentine's Day. But, give the uncertainty you two seem to have around the relationship, I don't think I'd personally recommend putting all of that in a card. That really is more the kind of thing you should discuss face to face. I know you say you are not good at that... but I think we ALL struggle with that to some degree.

Thing is, you won't get better at it if you don't try... and that is something everybody SHOULD learn to be comfortable with as much as they can. So, I don't necessarily think it is a good idea to just resolve yourself to the fact that you aren't good at discussions like that face to face, so you just put it in writing instead. Don't get me wrong. That isn't to say the card itself is a bad idea. I think that is fine. Heck, you can even include a sweet and heart-felt message. I just wouldn't necessarily recommend that as the venue for pouring your heart out and revealing your feelings for her. Again, not if you hadn't already.

Again, though, I will readily admit that is just my opinion. Others may disagree, I don't know. I'm just saying, that is how I personally feel on the topic. Good luck to you either way.

[Hooo!]

I would also personally not do this however I am way better at expressing my feelings (well at least I manage that quite well) and I also would tend to seduce the girl first
However if you want to
And your gut tells you to do it
And your gut tells you that she will react positive to it then go for it
However I don’t see how we can help with this?

[Gary Griffin]

With all the failed relationships in this day and age, it seems that true love is just too hard to come by. These negativities might take us a step back in finding our perfect matches, but a little help from relationships and intimacy coach will give you the motivation to get back in the game. I would suggest you to take a look on this site you may find interesting, https://loveama.com/

[GLYC]

Less is more early on, shes not your girlfriend. It's good to express yourself, but don't overload it.

Stick to simple and kind acts. You don't need grand gestures to tell women where they stand with you.
If you're making dates, she should know you're interested. But do not hold back your feelings entirely.
Just keep opening the jar slightly, take note of what she says and does as well.

It can be as easy as saying something like "I'm so excited to see you this weekend, just the thought of seeing you again was keeping me up last night. It's going to be a ****ing blast."

[TheEvilJester]

Well, I wouldn't necessarily suggest the profanities. LOL! Just teasing.

But, I'd like to point out that I LOVE the analogy of opening the jar slightly. As somebody who, when he DOES have a crush/love interest, crushes HARD, I've learned this myself. Even if/when you in your own mind are doing break dances and thinking "THIS GIRL IS AMAZING AND I AM SO IN LOVE!!!" you still have to sometimes engage your intellectual side enough to know two things. One, you can't unleash all of that right away at the person or you may scare them off because they could think you are too into it too soon. Two, you need to acknowledge to your own self that maybe you are just overreacting due to the exciting newness of it and that you may not know the person well enough yet to really know if they are worthy of that attention. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy the feeling. You certainly should. Just that you need to also be self-aware enough not to let yourself fall too hard too fast.

I don't actually know if that, for sure, applies to your situation. I'm just speculating. But, the slowly opening the jar analogy works well for your situation whether it does or not. Let those feelings out little by little and as it feels natural, and that should hopefully help you to get a sense of whether or not she seems to be on the same page.

Good luck!

[lovebroken]

Did you write out your feelings in the Valentine card or decide against and just perhaps write a separate letter to express those thoughts? If you wrote it on the card how did it go?