How would you know if a woman is worth it?

[jordan22]

All my life I’ve heard that long distance relationships rarely work out. Much less so when the woman you’ve fallen for is thought of as a “gold digger.” You see, I recently attended an international dating social event in the Philippines and many of my friends and family think she’s into me just because of my money.

At first, I joined the event to see how these things turn out and after joining one, meeting women and traveling around, i’ve come to realize that it wasn’t so bad. The only problem I brought home with me is the Filipina lady I’ve become attached to.

During my visit, she was fun to talk to and really seemed like she was into the real me rather than my wallet. How would you know if a woman is worth it? I’d like to clear my head and consider my options before deciding on anything serious because I really am planning to come back just to see her. I need some advice.

[TheEvilJester]

Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thang down, flip it, and reverse it.

I mean... come on. I kinda just HAD to.

But, I wouldn't have even done that if I didn't have actual thoughts to share with you. LOL! I guess my first question is how did she necessarily already know about your money? Did you just voluntarily share how much you make? Did she ask? Was it like one of the first things she asked?

It's hard, really, for any of us to be able to comment without being a little closer to the situation. Because, there are subtle clues (or sometimes ridiculously obvious clues) that could help to determine whether she's interested in you for you or just for your money. If it was something she asked about almost immediately, that would definitely be a bad sign. These days, I myself make pretty good money. I wouldn't say I'm rich or anything, but I do pretty well for myself. Knock wood, I hope that remains the case. Hasn't always been, may not always be, but I hope it remains the case for me.

But, if/when I am dating a new woman, I don't mention it at all. If asked, I say I make a good living and I don't go into any further detail or specifics. IF it ever became more serious, that would be a different story. But when I'm just meeting somebody I don't want how much money I make to be a factor at all.

In this case, I don't really feel like I have enough evidence to form an opinion. So, I think just time would show you. Just keep dating her and see how things go. If she's always asking for things or asking for money, that's definitely not a great sign. If she seems to enjoy your company even if you go out on dates that don't involve any money at all (just a walk in the park and good conversation, for example) then that is a good sign.

Good luck to you either way. I hope you are able to figure out if her intentions are pure soon enough. If they are, I wish you two the best of luck together. If she does seem to just be after your money, then I hope you learn that sooner rather than later and put her in your past.

[jordan22]

Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thang down, flip it, and reverse it.

I mean... come on. I kinda just HAD to.

But, I wouldn't have even done that if I didn't have actual thoughts to share with you. LOL! I guess my first question is how did she necessarily already know about your money? Did you just voluntarily share how much you make? Did she ask? Was it like one of the first things she asked?

It's hard, really, for any of us to be able to comment without being a little closer to the situation. Because, there are subtle clues (or sometimes ridiculously obvious clues) that could help to determine whether she's interested in you for you or just for your money. If it was something she asked about almost immediately, that would definitely be a bad sign. These days, I myself make pretty good money. I wouldn't say I'm rich or anything, but I do pretty well for myself. Knock wood, I hope that remains the case. Hasn't always been, may not always be, but I hope it remains the case for me.

But, if/when I am dating a new woman, I don't mention it at all. If asked, I say I make a good living and I don't go into any further detail or specifics. IF it ever became more serious, that would be a different story. But when I'm just meeting somebody I don't want how much money I make to be a factor at all.

In this case, I don't really feel like I have enough evidence to form an opinion. So, I think just time would show you. Just keep dating her and see how things go. If she's always asking for things or asking for money, that's definitely not a great sign. If she seems to enjoy your company even if you go out on dates that don't involve any money at all (just a walk in the park and good conversation, for example) then that is a good sign.

Good luck to you either way. I hope you are able to figure out if her intentions are pure soon enough. If they are, I wish you two the best of luck together. If she does seem to just be after your money, then I hope you learn that sooner rather than later and put her in your past.

This...is really thought out, thanks! She doesn't know how much I make, but my family insists that Filipino women who marry foreigners are just doing it for their money. She hasn't asked for money or anything, in fact, she hates it when I spend on her, as she prefers to go Dutch when we go out to eat together. But you've really given me a lot to think about, thank you so much!

[TheEvilJester]

This...is really thought out, thanks! She doesn't know how much I make, but my family insists that Filipino women who marry foreigners are just doing it for their money. She hasn't asked for money or anything, in fact, she hates it when I spend on her, as she prefers to go Dutch when we go out to eat together. But you've really given me a lot to think about, thank you so much!

Well, then to me that suggests that she is probably not interested in you just for your money. I mean, again, it isn't like I can know that for sure. Still. You say she has no idea how much you make... so how in the world can she know whether or not you make good money? For all she knows you could make next to nothing and then what would be the point of being interested in you just for your money?

I can't say that I have much experience with the culture of or people from the Philippines, so I suppose I can't say from any experience.... but as a general rule of thumb no two people are alike no matter what walk of life. So, for your family to insist that "Filipino women" are only interested in men's money is extremely closed-minded and judgmental. MAYBE some are.... but some AMERICAN women are just into men for their money as well. There are people like that all over the world. I am sure there are plenty of women from the Philippines who are just as sincere about wanting to find love as anybody else.

You met at what you described as a "dating event." I guess I can understand your family's hesitation with that. That could be a type of event that somebody who WAS a gold digger would taken advantage of to find somebody off of whom they could leach. But, that doesn't automatically mean that every woman there is just out for gold. Again, her generally wanting to pay her own way does not make me think she's just out for your purse strings.

So, again, my thought would be to just enjoy it for what it is and not worry about things like that. That isn't to say you blind yourself to possibilities like that. If it seems to start to go that way, then that may be a concern worth considering. But, why just pre-judge a situation and thereby possibly miss out on something that could have been great? Good luck to you either way.