My Grandmother is on her way out.

[Junket]

This is not a cry out for attention, I'm just keepin' you guys updated.

I've accepted it, however my sister Gina, who's very close to her, isn't taking it so well.

I was on the phone with her tonight, she was getting hysterical. She's a very dramatic person, and doesn't deal well with situations like these.

I dunno.

I just...I don't know.

Hopefully she'll take my advice and just learn to accept the inevitable and roll with the punches.

Ah, well, right?

[bluesummer]

I'm so sorry to hear that Fras. Losing a loved one is so hard.

People all handle death differently. Some people just view it as a part of life, and therefore are not bothered by it. I personally think that people overreact to death for their own selfish reasons (even if not conciously)......they are upset that THEY are losing that person, that THEY will never see them again. They don't stop to think that maybe that person has gone to a better place. In the case of your grandmother, she has lived a long, and hopefully full, life. Be happy that you've had the time with her. Accept your sister's grief...she will heal in time.

My grandmother told me if I cried when she died she'd come back from the grave and kick my ass. She wants us to hold a party.

[whaywardj]

Condolences, Fras.

Just by way of offering a perspective, this, the passing on of relatives, is a dimension of experience I've no experience with in the usual sense, nor do I ever expect to. Excepting my son, I am completely estranged from all members of my family and have been for quite some time. I don't even know if my mother is still alive. The question of whether she is or isn't only crosses my mind once or twice a year and, even then, only in an abstract and academic way. On one hand that may seem sad. On another, I'm relieved of ever having to carry the burden of grief so many others must bear.

[shh!]

I think it is perfectly normal for people to be hysterical when someone they love is dying. Loss of a loved one is worth being hysterical over, and is a normal, healthy part of the grieving process. I actually worry more about the ones who can't express their grief.

Sorry about your granny, Frasbee. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[independent]

I lost my Grandmother just two short months ago. Unlike my older sister, I was VERY close with her. I spent every summer with her up until the summer I got married, even. And then I came back "home" and took care of her for two straight years - night and day - until very recently.

When she passed, yes - I was happy for HER. She was ready to go.

At the same time, I was very very sad. It was the first major loss in my life... and she was the one person I was closest to ALL of my life. Selfish? Yes, sure. But I felt how I felt - and I grieved HARD.

It was especially hard because nobody understood. Everyone went on with their life and routine like nothing ever happened. Her flowers fell over at the graveside and just laid there face down... until I got there to fix them upright again (which I did every morning for more than 10 morning straight... until the flowers died completely).

Meanwhile, everyone else was going to ballgames or parties or whatever (other family members). Even at her funeral, I was the ONLY ONE that cried. It was very very difficult because I felt so alone... on top of dealing with the fact that I'd just lost her forever.

Even if she is "dramatic", even if it might be "selfish of her" to grieve hard... be there for her in any way that you can.


Just my 2 cents.

[RSK]

hey fras, i'm sorry to hear that

i am really lost for words. i really do not know what to say. i feel like i am more like your sister - Gina. you, on the other hand, probably has much more strength.

this thread is a very touchy subject for me - i love my dad to death, but his health is not so good. and i can't help thinking the worse. i don't know how i will react. i don't even want to think like this right now.

fras - i wish i had more strength to console you better. what i do know, is, having people around (just the presence), is uplifting. be their for your sister - i'm sure she needs your strength to pull through these tough times.

[bluesummer]

I just wanted to add that my comment about being 'selfish' about death is just an observation. I understand and respect people's need to grieve. I too would be upset if I lost anyone close to me. I was just saying, when you look at it, our reasons for grieving are inherently selfish....as they have nothing to do with our concern for the one that has passed, but more for our personal loss.

[RSK]

bluesummer, i see what you are saying, and to be honest, i never saw it from that type of perspective...

it makes a lot of sense. but sometimes, people mean so much to us, we become a part of people, it's the humanistic aspect of being human. and when a loved one passes away, it feels as if part of us has also been taken away...

[independent]

I agree, and I got your point as well BlueSummer. In fact, that was the one thing people would say to me when they saw me crying: She's better off.

I knew that. And I agreed. But I still felt how I felt. And at the time I felt incredibly empty and lost - with an ache that hurt to my core. And I felt that ALONE.

We dont hold funerals for the person that passed away. They arent here to enjoy or appreciate it. We hold them for the family, so that they can console each other and grieve together. It is definitely a part of the process.

[Tone]

LoL oh geez.........................

[Rosebud]

WOW! Fras, I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother!

The only thing you can do to help your sister is just be there for her. A lot of people handle death differently, and have a hard time accpeting it. So the importnat thing is to make sure if she needs to talk about..she can to help her through all of her emotions.

My condolensenses to you and your family!

[Junket]

Truthfully.

In the case of my sister.

I really do feel like she's being selfish.

I'm glad you touched upon that fact Blue.

When my cousin Joe died, she hadn't seen him for years, yet when the funeral came along she cried hysterically and made a scene at the viewing.

Sometimes I really just want to smack her...

[independent]

_________________

[Junket]

_________________

Believe me, there's a lot more to my sister than her just getting hysterical when people die.

It's a long story.

A looooong story.

[shh!]

Is she an attention-whore Frasbee? (pardon the expression)