Hindered discussions

[Lion-Guy]

-People are not going to want to write post and share their stories when comments such as those by user "Tone" are shared on this forum.

-Please read his comments on this post: [url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=10561&page=1&pp=15[/url]

Tone writes: "If you weren't so self-centered you could easily search this forum for stories and advice on how other people went through this. Cause let's be honest - what you're going through is nothing new"


-What good is it to simply read other's stories? It is much better to post your own stories and questions. Every relationship and break is unique in it own. While there are always universal themes, there is are distinct differences that are worth discussion. New post help build community among the members and increase useage on this site.

-Comments such as "Tone's" will hinder these meaningful discussions.

-Please advise.

[Junsui]

I think in the Rules/Guidelines of LF, the first one is Search: Do a search . The question you want to ask may have recently been answered.

Yes, there maybe some differences in breakups, but usually the advice is the same. Just lettin ya know.

[RSK]

You must be JOKING!

Tone is a great person and poster. Don't you dare test his character. He plays a big role on LF.


In a way - Tone is right. If people use the search function, then perhaps they'd find answers! In fact, a Mod here - CYBORG - has said the exact same thing - to USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION - that's what it's for!


Please don't attack Tone. A lot of people here like him. In fact, I don't know anybody who doesn't.


I understand your anger - but directing it toward ONE person is WRONG. Did you know that Tone at least responds to posts (unlike 100's of other people who just read and don't say a word, or give their thoughts).

There are more people like Tone. Whaywardj comes to mind. But I do not want to stop there...Independent, misombra, shh!, Junsui, Lloyd, Rosebud, Asip4u, and so many others that contribute, and make this forum possible.

[indigosoul]

Well, a couple of comments on this thread:

1. For the LF crowd: Many of you need to learn the difference between someone attacking an idea vs. a person. The original posters comments were arguing against Tone's COMMENTS, not Tone. There's a big difference. I read nothing to indicate he was being personally attacked. If you don't yet know how to seperate the two, you need to think on this a little more. For example: I never tell my son HE is a bad boy, tho I do sometimes tell him he has done a bad THING. He's only six, and he understands the difference, BTW.

2. For the poster: I largely agree w/you. This is a free forum. If ppl find your post too trival, then they simply don't have to answer. Or they can quickly direct you to do a search (as Tone did) or provide a link. Since I agree w/you, that every case is unique, you should probably then ask a SPECIFIC question that is specific to your case. I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful responses then.

Good luck!

[RSK]

Well, a couple of comments on this thread:

1. For the LF crowd: Many of you need to learn the difference between someone attacking an idea vs. a person. The original posters comments were arguing against Tone's COMMENTS, not Tone. There's a big difference. I read nothing to indicate he was being personally attacked. If you don't yet know how to seperate the two, you need to think on this a little more. For example: I never tell my son HE is a bad boy, tho I do sometimes tell him he has done a bad THING. He's only six, and he understands the difference, BTW.

2. For the poster: I largely agree w/you. This is a free forum. If ppl find your post too trival, then they simply don't have to answer. Or they can quickly direct you to do a search (as Tone did) or provide a link. Since I agree w/you, that every case is unique, you should probably then ask a SPECIFIC question that is specific to your case. I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful responses then.

Good luck!

Your post is sensible, and makes sense...

...i just have a problem, that the OP used Tone as an example. so many people do what Tone did ---> INCLUDING CYBOG!!!

why did the OP use Tone's name, and then, hyphenate it?

I guess i'm taking it too personally...but the OP should've left Tone out of it, or simply PM'd him directly.

[Junsui]

He's only six, and he understands the difference, BTW.

Awww, I'm dumber than a 6 year old.

[Tone]

I even said "It might be harsh but it's the truth"

You big cry baby.

No wonder your g/f dumped you.

[Junsui]

lol Tone.

[TAVS]

I will refrain from comment on grounds that I'll get gang banged

[Tone]

Truth hurts sometimes.

[Junsui]

That's why you can hide from it through denial (among many other ways).

[Tone]

Yup, but the most common response is to get real defensive. Hey we've all been there.

Back on topic:

Listen here Walt Disney - you may not have liked what I had to say - but it was the honest truth. And if you weren't so busy thinkin I just hurt your feelings and think about what I said - you would see it would actually HELP you. I say similair things to people all the time - that there is TON of GREAT advice, knowledge, and experiences dispersed throughout various threads on this forum. Obviously people aren't going to want to type out word for word every time someone has a breakup - so that's why I suggested searching out some threads to find others who have dealt with what you're dealing with, so you can obtain MORE knowledge and advice on how to deal. The reason I included the fact you were being "self-centered" on the forum is cause it's true - you have now started multiple threads on the same issue when it's clear you did absolutely no searching. Maybe if I just called you "lazy" it wouldn't have hit the nerve as bad?

Anyways, in summary: Get over it.

P.S.>> Thanks RK and Junsui for havin my back.

[Rosebud]

Indigo- I think people are quick to insult as well sometimes and maybe people shouldn't post anything when that happens, but that's why LF is so great! Because you can say how you feel. You will not always agree with everyone else and sometimes it's being harsh that actually gets through to the person. But people ahve their own responses to things that are happening.. I agree some things should not be said but Tone's response was not one of them.

I don't think there was anything wrong with Tone said. And I think there are a lot of things people can learn from reading all the threads on this forum. It's people thinking their own situation is totally different when it may be, but the advice they are asking for is always the same...so why not read some threads and answer the questions yourself. Not to mention if they don't get an answer they post multiple threads of the same thing which is flat out annoying!

[shh!]

On the other hand, if there were never any new threads because all of the advise truly HAS been given already, what would we regulars talk about?

[Junsui]

Gangs, of course!