Love at first sight or...???

[shh!]

I don't know what it is about humans that get so turned of when someone is head over heels in love with us.

I think that the fear is a warning sign that the other person may be excessively needy or clingy. Then again, some people enjoy having that dynamic to a relationship.

Is it that horrible that someone could love you from the moment they saw you? Not a lust, but in love with everything about you?

Hmmm.. How can someone love everything about you when they don't yet know you, as would be the case in "love at first sight"?

[Bluevetteracer]

SHH, I agree, I get skeptical, but I have seen a few women, and know there is something very special about them immediately. I was not in love, but I could tell by just looking at them, that we would get along marvelously.

I guess I am getting sensitive, were I live there are 3 nice guys for every girl. So, women here do not have to tolerate much, and can be very picky. They have also learned, through conditioning, supply, and demand, they can do or say just about whatever they want, and if you don't like it, they are on to the next guy.

[shh!]

Where do you live? On a military base or in Alaska?

Anyway, I still don't call that "love". I've heard that the kind of chemistry you are talking about is indeed, biological chemistry. Doesn't matter though; I agree it is a heavenly feeling, and all-too-rare. As I mentioned in another thread, it is often more visceral than real love, which I consider to be more a behavior and less a feeling.

[whaywardj]

Anytime any woman tells me a little too soon for my taste she loves me, I always ask, in a most unthreatening way, "And what do you think we should do about that?" Once they consider the full implications of what they're saying, they usually back off of using the word "love" and start using the word "like." When they don't, and I'm amenable, we're off on a long-ish association in which we're consciously weighing the pros and cons of where this thing could lead, and discussing our decisions about whether to follow it as we go.

Sometimes, we get married. Most times, if we're honest with ourselves and each other, we uncover very good reasons not to. Most often, reasons having to do with something we don't like looking at too closely, or care to see too clearly. Much less talk about at all.

[Bluevetteracer]

I prefer not to say, as I don't want to offend any women that might live there, and be on here.

Towns that are very friendly to guys?
PHX (Scottsdale)
SFO (Presidio)
DAL (Grapevine)

Europe women are great (Germany/Spain) and so are the Kiwi's from Down Under.

Keep in mind, I am not talking about easy women, just friendly, and receptive.

[Bluevetteracer]

Anytime any woman tells me a little too soon for my taste she loves me, I always ask, in a most unthreatening way, "And what do you think we should do about that?" Once they consider the full implications of what they're saying, they usually back off of using the word "love" and start using the word "like." When they don't, and I'm amenable, we're off on a long-ish association in which we're consciously weighing the pros and cons of where this thing could lead, and discussing our decisions about whether to follow it as we go.

Sometimes, we get married. Most times, if we're honest with ourselves and each other, we uncover very good reasons not to. Most often, reasons having to do with something we don't like looking at too closely, or care to see too clearly. Much less talk about at all.

Wayward, credit is due!

You have had some very good posts lately.

[whaywardj]

Thank you, Vette. And you'll notice I don't need to shout to make myself heard.

[Bluevetteracer]

Thank you, Vette. And you'll notice I don't need to shout to make myself heard.

Yes, I respect you command of the written word, it is direct and articulated well.

[shh!]

I prefer not to say, as I don't want to offend any women that might live there, and be on here.

Interesting. I didn't interpret your post as something that could be considered offensive to anyone. Are you trying to say that it makes women less desireable to you because they don't have to tolerate much when they are outnumbered by men and can afford to be picky? I am a little surprised to hear that from you. I thought you were the competetive sort.

Hey - are you still dating that woman with kid(s)??

[whaywardj]

Hm. Let's see: Set him off-guard with a compliment, thrust with an implied insult to his competitive prowess, parry, then feint with a question into his romantic affairs. Not too shabby, Shh! Puts him in the position of having to choose which to answer most forcefully. Either way he goes, he discloses more information about his character, revealing any additional chinks he may have in his armoring.

[shh!]

What...?? I am far too simple to be so conniving, hayward. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. I didn't mean to be either insulting or complimentary. I was merely making an observation. (And then I was being nosey.)

Of course, now bluevette will probably be suspicious and defensive and won't answer at all, not that I would blame him.

[Bluevetteracer]

Interesting. I didn't interpret your post as something that could be considered offensive to anyone. Are you trying to say that it makes women less desireable to you because they don't have to tolerate much when they are outnumbered by men and can afford to be picky? I am a little surprised to hear that from you. I thought you were the competetive sort.

Hey - are you still dating that woman with kid(s)??

No, Dad was an issue. I worked it the best I could, but it got to a point of un-acceptance.

As far as not mentioning the city, it is in the midwest. I just did not want to offend and start one of those 20 page threads that got derailed by something like this.

[whaywardj]

I'm sooo suspicious, sometimes.

[shh!]

Sorry about the girlfriend bluevette; those situations can be tricky.

All threads get hijacked at some point. How else can we converse with each other?

[Unity]

Ooops, posted this in the wrong thread. Well it in its right place now.

Imo, love at first site is just obsesion. It has happened to me a few times and EVERY time I've felt it they turned out to be some of the most manpulative and deceptive people I've known. I wasn't in love with them, I was obsessed about them and their behaviour, trying to figure it all out making me think about her all the time, thinking I was in love because of it. It took a long time to realinse this, but every time it's becoming more and more obvious. If anyone experiences love at first site, I'd recomend taking a long hard look at who your interested in and ask your self what you really fell. But I can only speak from my own experience. Just my two cents.

Now I'm not saying any of these things about you sweetee by any means, I'm just sharing my experience thats relative to the discussion.