Am I wrong?

[bridgeboy]

My girlfriend went overseas to studies for a year.. She was about to come back during her holidays when she called me. She said she wanted a breakup because she has been thinking about our relationship. She feels she has always thought our relationship of 4 years has something wrong. And over there, she met her lecturer(10 years older) and she was simply smitten. (The lecturer shows completely no interest and already have a steady galfriend. So she has no hgh hopes) So she felt any progess in our relationship is impossible since we never had this feeling. So she ends it right here. She is still very nice to me and worried that I cannot get over it.. I am ok towards her and I do not hate her at all as I think under the stress and circumstances, it is perfectly understandable?

However, I do feel very strongly about 2 points:
(a) I think what she had was a crush and It will be unfair to everybody if she based her decsion on the feelings of a crush. Isit true that you need to have a particular feeling before the relationship can work out? If it's lacking, then it cannot be developed? I certainly do not think so...
(b) I cannot really accept the fact that she faced the 'problem' on her own and come to a decision without any discussion at all.. It was a complete shock. Right now, I feel we do have a chance if we had discussed it together or I could have been around with her in the critical moments. I really hope to look for a second chance to correct it but I know chances are slim.(She seems to have got over it alright, so I think it will be pretty selfish on my part to trouble her again)

What should I do? Anyone please advice, thanks

[NeoSeminole]

it's that lack of gray matter I tell ya...

[shh!]

Sorry bridgeboy, but she's been with you and knows what you are like, and she isn't buying. You guys are young, and so statistically speaking, this was never going to work out. Learn what you can from this experience, take so time to heal, and go find the girl who will feel that way about YOU. Don't you think that is better than settling for a girl who's passion lies elsewhere?

And neo - stop making fun of guys for having less gray matter. That isn't nice.
:-)

[bridgeboy]

it's that lack of gray matter I tell ya...

Hm.. I'm not quite sure what this refer to?.. can you please elaborate? Am I not thinking straight?

[mhussain]

the problem is that no matter whether it was a crush or anything else, you have broken up. there is nothing else you can do.

whether a girl refuses to "buy" into a guy or not, breaking up always sucks. she did not discuss it with you and she wont, because she doesnt want to hear your side. why would she, because as you say, she is "smitten" with her professor.

let us see what she does when the professor doesnt buy into her

Hussain

[whaywardj]

Your thinking is perfectly clear and fine, Bridge, so I'd say follow your instincts in the matter as it develops (or doesn't.)

[shh!]

Hm.. I'm not quite sure what this refer to?.. can you please elaborate? Am I not thinking straight?

He is referring to an article which states that ounce for ounce, a woman's brain has more gray matter than a man's. Men require larger brains to make up for their lack of gray matter...




Are you a student? It helps to get over painful break-ups when you keep yourself busy.

[TAVS]

He is referring to an article which states that ounce for ounce, a woman's brain has more gray matter than a man's. Men require larger brains to make up for their lack of gray matter...

Ssh! - Didn't you see my post about Men having more grey matter?
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/showpost.php?p=162241&postcount=27[/url]

bridgeboy- Move On; its in your best interests. Find someone who truely wants to be with you.

[shh!]

:-)

It seems there are conflicting opinions on the matter.

[Rosebud]

I think I have said this in previous threads, but when someone goes looking or falls upon someone else while in a realtionship it's because there is something they need/want that is lacking in the current relationship. Even though this guy isn't showing any response to her there is something that intrgues her that she doesn't have with you. But if you don't try and find that problem (as she has stated there has been somethign wrong for a long time and never said anything) then it will continue to push that person away. I don't see her wanting to fix that problem with you if she never mentioned it the 4 years you were together. Tha factor is you won't be able to correct this problem because she doesn't want to fix it.

The only thing you can do is take it as it is and try and move on. Yes you don't really ahve closure because she never expressed her feeligns to you but do you really want to get back into a relationship with soemone that instead of trying to overcome a bump in the road they just stop dead in their tracks and then move on to another road?