Update on my situation....

[football]

She ended up calling me at about 5:30 today, while she was in the process of driving around and returning some gifts. We talked for like 25 minutes...I know that usually a no no, I'm supposed to keep conversations short and sweet, but we are friends first so I think that might be ok. I asked her what she was up to tonight and she said she had nothing planned. I asked her if I could come over and she said "yea you can come over later tonight I'll give you a call later, after I'm done shoppin/exchanging gifts". She also said she might have another kid over though, a friend she hasn't seen in ages...I'm not sure what this means... I have three thoughts on this. 1. she could eaisly cancel plans with the other kid if she is really interested in me. 2. She has had plans with this kid and is letting me come over anyways, because she wants to see me. 3. I've never really hung out around her with another guy, so I can see how/if she flirts with this guy at all, while trying to step up the heat and flirt with her too and see what kind of responce I get out of this.

I could also find out what time this kid is coming over when she calls me back, and try to come over before him, or arrive about an hour after he gets there hoping he will leave soon and I can have some alone time and then maybe ask her to watch a movie with me..
I could also just tell her I'm busy tonight, my family wants to go out to dinner or some crap like that and make plans for us to hang out tomorrow. However if she alleady has plans for tomorrow I'm screwing myself over..

Advice...

[funsounds]

go, you gotta show up...

go hang out with her and her friend. be cool...be nice...be fun to her and the friend. watch how the interact...pay attention to how she interacts with you around this guy.

here's the clincher: in almost every case where a girls been crushin on me...and we're not yet a couple...and we're hanging out with other people...you know what the girls done? almost every time (maybe ever time, i can't think of an exception off the top of my head), at the end of the nite, when people are parting ways...i'm the last one to leave. she wants me to be the last person she sees that night. have just a tiny bit of alone time together...whether it be 10 minutes or several hours.

don't go out of your way to make sure you're the last person to leave...don't try to force alone time with her. if she likes you, she'll make sure it happens...somehow. that's how it's always gone down with me. i never tried...but she subtilely put myself and others in a situation where i was the last person with her. we could be hanging with some guy(s) she knows...or her girl-friends...whatever...i was the last person she saw that night. and in the sitations i'm thinking of, we weren't dating or doing ANYTHING yet...just friends...but between that and many other signs, you figure out she's crushin on ya...

money...

[funsounds]

you know what else is money?

i just did think of some situations where i wasn't the last person she was with. circumstances prevented me from sticking around. you know what the girl does? she calls you after she's done hanging out...just to talk to you before she goes to bed. she'll usually just engage in small talk...and tell you what a good time she had or that she was glad you came...maybe even make plans to hang out later.

that's money...if you're the last person she thinks about after a night out, you're golden...

[football]

Those are some great words of wisdom there man.

I do have some quick quetsions though, if it was at my house it would be easier. How do you usually leave the girls house? Do you just wait till she hints at you to leave, like its 1:00 in the morning and she starts saying something like she is tired, or I have to get up early in the morning and you say yea it's getting late I better get going soon. I've never ever been straight up asked to leave with any girl, and I dont want to be there and overstay my welcome, I also dont want to leave any earlier than I have to.

[theotherguy0123]

How about this, leave whenever you want, don't follow her signs to let you leave or stay, just be like oo i have something to do. But usually leave early, don't overstay...

[funsounds]

Those are some great words of wisdom there man.

I do have some quick quetsions though, if it was at my house it would be easier. How do you usually leave the girls house? Do you just wait till she hints at you to leave, like its 1:00 in the morning and she starts saying something like she is tired, or I have to get up early in the morning and you say yea it's getting late I better get going soon. I've never ever been straight up asked to leave with any girl, and I dont want to be there and overstay my welcome, I also dont want to leave any earlier than I have to.

if i can, i like to try to leave just a bit earlier than i have to...i wanna leave just a bit earlier than she wants me to leave. i wanna decide when the nights over. leave em wanting more. ideally, you don't want it to get to the point where she's wanting you to leave...that means you've stayed too long!

if that happens, if she hints at it...it's usually not disastrous...usually not. so don't sweat it if that's how it plays out.

but if you can...say it gets late, whatever is late for when ya'll hang out...just say it's getting late and that you'd probably better go. if you must, make up some BS about having to get up early.

if you're money...she'll reluctantly let you leave!!!! she'll tell you straight up that she doesn't want you to leave yet...or it may be more subtle. but be man...leave. ya'll can have late night, sleep over make-out sessions...or sex...or all night talks when ya'll are officially a couple. but don't do it right now. leave me wanting more. no bs man...it usually works...often enough for me to stick to this rule...

[football]

if i can, i like to try to leave just a bit earlier than i have to...i wanna leave just a bit earlier than she wants me to leave. i wanna decide when the nights over. leave em wanting more. ideally, you don't want it to get to the point where she's wanting you to leave...that means you've stayed too long!

if that happens, if she hints at it...it's usually not disastrous...usually not. so don't sweat it if that's how it plays out.

but if you can...say it gets late, whatever is late for when ya'll hang out...just say it's getting late and that you'd probably better go. if you must, make up some BS about having to get up early.

if you're money...she'll reluctantly let you leave!!!! she'll tell you straight up that she doesn't want you to leave yet...or it may be more subtle. but be man...leave. ya'll can have late night, sleep over make-out sessions...or sex...or all night talks when ya'll are officially a couple. but don't do it right now. leave me wanting more. no bs man...it usually works...often enough for me to stick to this rule...

You have a lot of good advice. Everything you said makes sence, its just hard to leave a little earlier than you have to because I like the person so naturally I want to spend as much time as I can with her, especially since it's a 45 min to 1 hour drive each way lol But I'm going to do my best

[theotherguy0123]

heyyy what about me?? I said almost the same thing too...No thanks for me?

[football]

heyyy what about me?? I said almost the same thing too...No thanks for me?

Sorry man, you've been helpful throughout all my posts, his was just the last post I read so I responded to that one, but thanks for your comment as well.

[Sum1]

Well if you check this again, I have an idea for your leaving problem. Just play it cool. Stay for a littel while 1-2 hours and say, "Well I don't want to overstay my welcome so I'm going to head out" and then adjust to what her response is. If she's like, "Ok" then f--- it, just leave but if she's like, "Well you don't have to, we can still hang/kick it (sorry don't know your lingo lol)" Then stay for a while. But when you think it's getting to the point to leave just say that you're tired and leave. Don't give her the idea that you are dying to stay there, you don't want her to know that, you want her to be curious. BELIEVE ME!

[football]

So us three were all supposed to hang out tonight, she ends up going out to dinner with this other kid (not jealous at all, I could care less when the guy is someone who doesn't go to college with us so I know she's not interested in him)...I called her at like 9:15 to see whats up. They didn't finish dinner till about 10 I wasn't going to drive an hour to see her since it was allready that late. She then tells me she's going to come over after work tomorrow so we have all day to hang out, and she said she is going to try to get off early too. So a friend (guy friend) that lives close by ended up coming over just played some madden 2006 (sweet game might I add) and I left my instant messenger on not knowing it. When she got home she sends me this " Hey, i'm really sorry about tonight, I'll make it up to you I promise". I didn't end up checking my comp till about 3 hours later, and she ended up getting offline with out me responding to her messages, so she might think I'm kinda pissed, allthough I probably should be. I was thinking about leaving her a voice mail while she is at work saying it's ok dont worry about and sorry I didn't respond to your message to make sure she doesn't think I'm pissed off, wouldn't want her to not come over because of a misunderstanding.

Of course I'm a guy, so you know what I'm hoping the "i'll make it up to you" you part means lol (just kidding)

[Vanilla Gilr]

About last night...not being pissed is a good thing. You really have no good reason to be...so it makes sense not to be. A bit disapointed...fine...that's okay....it's also okay if you tell her that you were a bit disapointed that ya'll couldn't chill last night...but that you understand. Trust me...you will gain far more "Brownie Points" by saying 'I understand' than by saying "I'm pissed".

And about not responding to the IM...that happens...she probably does have a bit of a question about whether you ignored her...but given your prior talks with her...she probably giving it a 50/50 bet that you fell asleep...

Whatever you do...be real. It's fine to get advice...to ask others what they think...but ultimately...be yourself...if she falls for you...you want it to be the real you...not an illusion.

and by the way...she knows exactly what you're hoping for with the 'make it up to you' line....(doesn't mean she's gonna give it up right away...lol....but it sound like it's sure crossed her mind!)

Good luck...have fun...and don't turn into a dick...you're doing good so far.

[football]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yea i'm not pissed off at all, I like the phrase " i'm a little dissapointed". I might use that, that way she knows that I wanted to hang out with her, and yet I'm not pissed off (because I'm not mad at all)

I understand what your talking about with getting advice, most of the advice I ask is just on small stuff like this, the little things that I never really thought mattered. However when it's just us hanging out, I'm not putting on an act or anything, we have pretty good chemistry...just hoping it's not because we have been friends.

[theotherguy0123]

hey its good to hear that your doing good with this girl, congrats man...too bad my situation isn't good.

[Sum1]

Naw if anything not responding helped you out. Because 9/10 times she kept looking at her phone and computer screen looking for a reply. It probably made her more into you than anything. IF you want to play it right then just don't mention it the following day. If she asks then be honest. If you wanna be a dick (which might help) just say you were busy. You can go about it many different ways but overall it is a good thing. But I'm sure youre scared that she will get mad cause you didn't answer or you just are sad because you missed an oppotunity to talk to her. But don't worry you're good. Who knows maybe you're with her right now! Hope so. And don't bet on the "make it up to you later" I doubt she was referring to what you're thinking, you dirty little boy lol. jk