I am confused

[Nick72]

Hi. This is really wierd thing to ask, but I have never had to deal with a girl like this. Most of the time if i want to date someone it turns out ok. But this situation/relationship is different. I met her at the gym about two months ago. We started working out together-- then the gossip mill started and everyone asked if we were dating. She blew up and said she did not want to work out I can understand this. So I let it be but she came back and wanted to workout or hangout. In fact, we hang out a lot!! A lot of the time she even pays for stuff. I mean--WOW!! Most of our converaations involve sex or relationships, but here is the kicker she continually states she just wants to be friends, but then she tells me she considers me a close friend and cares about me, but always brings up different guys to see how I will react. I don't like this because I don't know were she is coming from. Now, most of the time when I date I find myself with a gal who wants a relationship. The truth is I am not a player but i am always around a lot of women at the gym and were i work. Its obvious she is concerned because she asks me about all these women i know, and I tell her i have nothing to do with them. She claims she is a christian and does not kiss on the first date, and then she claims does not like intimate relationships. In fact she states she would be happy living by herself and she never wants to have sex again. Plus, she claims she has only been with two guys Ok-- thats cool i can understand this and to some extent appreciate her values. But, i mean she is giving me a lot of mixed signals and if I don't watch it I am afraid I could get hurt. Does anyone have any ideas?

[vashti]

Why would you be romantically interested in a girl who states she never wants to have sex again? Are you a eunuch?

[funsounds]

i think she might be interested in you...otherwise, she really wouldn't give a rats ass about any girls that hang around you. but you now...i think i believe her when she says she's not interested in a relationship with you...i mean, first off, she said it...and secondly, she got upset about the thought people might think you two are in a relationship.

the thing about her saying she could be happy to live alone and would be ok with never having sex again...that's sorta interesting. that's a very defensive position. she's either trying to keep you at bay...or trying to keep herself at bay. even if it's true, that's not something you say just to say. you say things like that with a purpose.

just because a girls interest is piqued does not mean she actually wants to start seeing you. so i say wait and see...work your game on her and see if you can get her to come around...in the meantime, don't pass up other women...

[Mike]

You told her you weren't involved with these girls? Foolish tbh...

Sounds like she's just a friend to me - like fs said, she's playing very defensively and you don't seem to be exactly on the offensive. Try the 'offensive', she might like it, if things look any better, shoot the question. You've got little to lose considering if you don't take action you'll be left with the question: "what if?"

[Tone]

How old are you? How old is she?

[Rosebud]

Eh, don't try to go any further with her, if she's giving you mixed signals (saying one thing and doing something else) then she's playing games and that will continue. She stated she cares about as a friend and that's where you should leave it. She doesn't want a relationship so don't let yourself get too involved with her or you'll end up getting hurt.

[Hugo Pickle]

Here is what you do. You date other women but still see her as a friend. When she pulls some mixed signals crap again then call her on it.

Example, you two go to lunch and she finds out that you went out with so in so and gets all pissed off and jealous but then says something like, "whatever, as long as your happy, but I wouldn't date her, she's a whore." Then you immediately come back at her with "What, do you want to be my girlfriend, is that it?" I would say there is a 90 percent chance that she will say "Hell no." Just because you punked her shit on the spot when she wasn't ready. But later, she might kick herself in the ass and then want to spend time with you and then be all flirty hoping that you will make a move on her. If she says "Hell No' and then just doesn't call to spend that flirty time with you then forget her and still date the other one.

I bet that she is trying to get you all into her and yes, like rosebud said is just playing bullcrap games. Women fall in love slower then men do. Most women might really like someone and even sleep with them but not say that they love them or even if they really want to continue to see them until some time has gone by.

Either way, it doesn't matter man, play the field and do not put up with those games. You see, as a guy, things really aren’t so hard. You just work out, do what you want, work hard at your job, and just date a bunch of women until one of them really likes you a whole lot. Then you start evaluating her to see if she is really what you want and then things go from there.