Stay or break up?

[caramelkiwi]

Basically I really love my boyfriend, and I was really happy with him. Recently, I sent him a text message from my new phone number, saying "Hey sexy, guess who?" and he replied back saying "Is it that girl that I gave my number to at the club?" I was curious, so I replied saying "Yes. Do you have a girlfriend?" and he said Yes, so I said "Why did you give me your number if you have a girlfriend?" and he said "Because I was drunk and wanted to get laid". I was furious about this, so I broke up with him and told him that it was me. Then he was angry at me for trying to set him up (that wasn't my intention). Well, I talked to him yesterday, and he told me that it was ages ago that he gave his number, and that she did actually message him, but he didn't reply. He said that he only said about the "getting laid" because he thought she wouldn't reply and think he's an ******* if he said that. But I'm just not sure whether to believe him or not. Why would he give out his number if he had no intention of meeting her? What if he really did want to get laid by her? Should I forgive him just this once?

[NeoSeminole]

well, let's analyze the situation (assuming your bf is telling the truth). He gave his number to the girl a long time ago. How long have you two been dating? Maybe he met her before you? Perhaps he gave his number to her while you two were seeing each other but weren't exclusive yet. If so, I don't see what the problem is. You two weren't dating at the time. But for arguements sake, let's say you two were in a committed relationship when he gave his number to the girl. It's possible he didn't have the same feelings for you back then as he does now.

[caramelkiwi]

As far as I know, it was when we were dating. He wasn't specific about when it was, but he said "A few months ago" and we've been dating for 9 months. I wasn't really upset that he gave a girl his phone number, but the fact that he said he wanted to get laid and that's why he gave it. Maybe he was just mucking around when he said it... but what if he wasn't? Maybe he did sleep with her?

[funsounds]

i think you should hook up with the girl...that's hot...

[funsounds]

As far as I know, it was when we were dating. He wasn't specific about when it was, but he said "A few months ago" and we've been dating for 9 months. I wasn't really upset that he gave a girl his phone number, but the fact that he said he wanted to get laid and that's why he gave it. Maybe he was just mucking around when he said it... but what if he wasn't? Maybe he did sleep with her?

it was at a club. you don't give your number to a girl at a club unless you're lookin to hook up...period. cuz you ain't gonna find relationship-worthy girls giving their numbers or taking numbers at a club. you take or give numbers at a club...it's for sex, flat out. deal with it.

so he wanted to **** some other girl. he deserves shit for that. BUT...it sounds like he had the opportunity to (she messaged him before) and as far as you know he didn't. AND...when you pretended to be her...he sounded like he was on his way to turning her down again. so that's gotta count for something.

listen...lots of people get tempted to stray every once in a while during relationships...and just about everyone gets an opportunity to stray while in relationships. the saints try to avoid sitatuations that may put them at risk...but most of aren't saints. the decent ones are decent enough to turn aside temptation and opportunity.

i'd be concerned a little bit. but i think...you know, if you guys have had a good relationship so far, don't let this kill it...

[Mish]

Should I forgive him just this once?

Ummm, let's see, what's that word that I'm looking for here

NO

Coincidently, I wonder what the IQ of this guy is

[funsounds]

Ummm, let's see, what's that word that I'm looking for here

NO

Coincidently, I wonder what the IQ of this guy is

why not? he didn't cheat. as far as we know, he didn't kiss her...he didn't see her outside the club...he didn't **** her. he gave her the number at a club (possibly while drunk). the girl messaged him once before...and as far as we know, he turned down her advances. and he was on his way to turning down her advances again when the poster was pretending to be the girl.

this guy ain't so saint...but i think he deserves another shot, albeit with a shorter leash now...

[Mish]

why not? he didn't cheat. as far as we know, he didn't kiss her...he didn't see her outside the club...he didn't **** her. he gave her the number at a club (possibly while drunk). the girl messaged him once before...and as far as we know, he turned down her advances. and he was on his way to turning down her advances again when the poster was pretending to be the girl.

this guy ain't so saint...but i think he deserves another shot, albeit with a shorter leash now...

Why not? Is that what you asked?

Because he was going to and was set on doing it while in a relationship (As per his own admition) until the time he got caught red handed. It is possible that after many years of rehabilitation this individual might change, but for now he is out to cheat and the only way he will learn is the hard way.

Personaly I would never give someone who I even thought was promiscious any chances. It would kill me to wonder all the time if I should be trusting that person or not. Everybody deserves to be able to trust their partner 100% without a single hint of doubt and you can't trust a would be cheater. I personaly would not settle for anything less.

[funsounds]

Because he was going to and was set on doing it while in a relationship (As per his own admition) until the time he got caught red handed. It is possible that after many years of rehabilitation this individual might change, but for now he is out to cheat and the only way he will learn is the hard way.

he was drunk! and he got caught red handed TURNING THE GIRL DOWN! he turned the girl down once...and he turned the girl down again when it was actually his GF. chronology of events:

-he gives number to girl while intoxicated
-girl calls for sex, he turns her down
-girl friend calls pretending to be girl friend, he turns her down

he ain't no saint, but he did the right thing in the end...

and like i said, everyone is confronted with the opportunity to cheat in relationships. there's NO DOUBT that your husbad/bf has been confronted with just such a situation, where he had the chance to **** some other girl, but hopefully he didn't. and that's all you can ask for...when presented with the opportunity to cheat, do you take it or pass? this guy passed on the chance...twice, as far as he knew...

[clynn]

yah, I mean saying "I wanted to get laid" - is a surefire way to turn just about any girl off.

So he intentionally was turning this fictitious girl right off OR at least blatantly disrespecting her. Kind of classless...but at least it is a way for the guy to get rid of the girl as he didn't want to really stray.

anyhow, I don't blame you for being upset.

It is VERY VERY funny though.

You an probably at least get some mileage from it for a while!

[Tone]

I don't get why he couldn't just say "Sorry I have a g/f so I'm not interested" instead of "I gave you my # cause I wanted to get laid"

Like clynn said, just classless. Even if he TRULY was trying to turn her off to him (which I doubt...)

[clynn]

Well - Tone is a guy. And I'm not. So I'd trust more what he think's this guy's intentions were / are over what I think.

[Rosebud]

I agree. I mean I think he may ahve been telling the truth about trying to get rid of her by telling her that he just wanted to get laid. But why would he get her number in the first place? Eh, I don't know. I think this one is on you and if you feel you can really trust him, after you found out he likes to give his number out!

[Tone]

At first, I thought he was joking, playing along because he knew she was getting a new number, so was just teasin her sayin "The girl I met at the club?"

But then when she got mad and blew up on him and he told her "I was just sayin that to get rid of her..." got me a little curious.

I agree with RoseB, that I think that he really was trying to get rid of her with the whole "I just wanted to get laid" line, either that or his game is really weak. But I also agree that you should be curious now as to why he gave it out in the first place.

I don't get why everyone thinks people should get away with whatever they want as long as whatever they did at the time was when they were "drunk". Some people here are saying "Oh well he was drunk when he gave her number out".. so? Does that not make him still responsible?

No excuse.

[Rosebud]

Exactly Tone. I 100% agree. I know even when I'm drunk, I know the difference between right and wrong. And if I'm out with my friends at a club I'm with my friends not talking with a bunch of guys or even putting myself in a position to give or get a phone number. Drinking is never an excuse!