An online story

[virginia]

We met 14 months ago. We dated 'til friday night.
I started feeling a few months ago how he was distancing himself but regarded everything to his intense work. I'd tell myself that tolerance and patience is what I needed to deal with his independent issues and fear of commitment. Slowly, I began showing him that it was ok to just not be all over ourselves. I do feel he controlled much the relationship by limiting himself to call me 3/4 times a week, and seeing each other about the same time. He is 33 and I am 31. He tells me after the break up talk, how he began feeling that his emotions were not there anymore. That love was too much at this point to say, but did go into details whether or not he just didn't love me but kept a relationship of 14 months. For our anniversary I suggested a vacation together. And now, he explains how after that he just feel 'emotionally distant' from me. I came across his online profile that he loaded again about 6 weeks ago, but that have not accessed again.
He did talk much about the pressure of his family and friends for a marriage. During our talk, I tried to explain to him, that since we were both not ready for marriage that maybe that was something to simply not pay much attention to make him feel that I did not want to pressure that if he is not ready.

I am devastated, since my feeling for him were there since early in the relationship. He never told me he loved me, and I guess now that is why he goes back to always referred to his feelings as 'emotions'...
we agreed to take some time off, even though my gutt feeling tells me he is just not there anymore. I do want so bad to be with him just because I realize how much I love him, but it is hard to picture that starting with the fact that we don't feel the same for each other. He does stress on the fact that intimate speaking he couldn't be there either and can't explain why. That he has been trying to think why his feeling were going down hill, but that even made our relationship boring... and me thought that he was just working too much... 4 weekends out of 6... but he does work much.

We went to four different wedding is a period of three months and he knows also that my sister, 32, is getting married next february.

He said that the marriage pressure has nothing to do with that, but he comment of how he try to fit himself in the more than a year of dating situation and got afraid? We had amazing times...
but he is only looking at how he feels. In no where in the conversation did my feelings for him came into reference and he even told me he is afraid of mixing up the fact that he would miss me with the way he feels about me during our time to think things... he didn't want to establish a timeframe but say to keep in touch and see each other once in a while... I have never been thru this before and it took me four years to fall in love again...

I want him back so bad... and I am afraid he really just wants to be without me...

[shenmue]

You gotta make one huge grand attempt. Spill your guts to him and if he doesn't want it you did all you could.