THe damage our parents' done on us when it comes to relationships

[Alicias]

I was very fustrated recently
here's wt happened,
My brother got married a year ago impulsively, and now he's getting divorce, which is somewhat expected.
anyway, what troubles me the most is not by large the fact that my brother is being stupid, but my father's reaction.

My father is more then encouraging to my brother right now, he keeps trashing about my brother's ex-wife and asking him to get a better one as soon as possible; which my brother has been doing while he's still in that marriage.
my father's attutide is more like praising my brother as doing a manly thing( to mess around, get more hotties) ,more then denouncing him being stupid and irresponsible.

I really dont understand, i mean my father has never been someone i can look up to, but now, he's just being disgusting to me...
Does he have no idea what my brother is like, is some what becasue of him?
enough damage alrighty!

man~ I feel fustrated, he's my father and i can't confront him straightly in front of his face.

anyway, thx for "listening" to me whine

[misombra]

that's pretty irresponsible. how old is your brother? are your parents divorced?

[Only-virgins]

The way you describe your father is evil, I can't side with this though because I know little of the situation.

[Pears]

man~ I feel fustrated, he's my father and i can't confront him straightly in front of his face.

Alicias, this is a tough situation.

My father can be very unreasonable at times and I've tried to confront him many times for certain situations but I used to crumble everytime I tried. It's very hard to confront an unreaonable person.

To get rid of your frustration, confronting your father would be a good thing to do. It is hard, but you can do it if you just sit down and think about all the things you want to say. Think of things you can say that will make him agree with you. Then gather the courage and confront him. Don't turn away until you can get something straightened out.

[Teezy]

Are you male or female?

I don't know how hard it is for a female to confront their dad, but if you're a male then just man up tell him to grow up. That will mess with his head. Having his child tell HIM to grow up.

Sounds like your dad just wants his son to be a ladies man, which...I don't disagree with completely. I hope i'm still getting numbers when i'm 50. Because...forget marraige.

[vashti]

The apple often doesn't fall far from the tree. Be happy that TWO parents contribute to your genetic makeup. Maybe you were saved by your mother.

[NeoSeminole]

one thing I've noticed about women is they tend to side with other women regardless of the situation. Already, three women have made your father out to be some bad guy without all the facts. I agree with OV, you haven't explained why your father is encouraging your brother's behavior. It could be you are giving us bias information.

[misombra]

it's funny that you point that out and then go on to agree with another guy. ::shakes head:: you're so predictable.

[Alicias]

My father is a spoiled brat, he uses to mess around with girls, my mom told me that he's those kinda guys who could sleep with 3 different girls in a week. I dont know y he's encouraging my brother's behavior, may be he want his "legnd" to live on??

btw, My brother is 29.

[NeoSeminole]

misombra, sure whatever you say cupcake. I guess I'm predictable b/c I choose not to judge anyone until I have more information. Run along now.

[misombra]

no, you're predictable but one could easily guess when they see that you posted that you would probably say something stereotypical and sexist, then go on to demonstrate the very quality you condemn. it's okay neo, just go ahead and hang yourself with your words like usual.

[NeoSeminole]

please show me how I am a hypocrite. I've been accused of being sexist in the past, yet no one can provide an example. Wow. Very compelling evidence I must say. Talk is cheap. I know you have an axe to grind with me for whatever dumb reason. You frequently provoke me, slander me, and call me names out of nowhere. This is why I didn't support your nomination for mod in another thread. You are a very immature girl.

[clynn]

Wow, what a horrible situation. There really just are men who are just like this.

I guess you could talk with your brother. What did he think about how your father's behavior affected your mom? Did he support it as a child? How did he feel about growing up in that environment? How would your brother feel about you marrying a guy who was a philanderer?

If he simply believes that it is a man's right to fool around on his wife, have one at home and many on the side................there may be little convincing him otherwise. He'll probably even find himself a woman willing to put up with it.

And there may be little you can do to change this behavior. At some point you may have to just reconcile yourself with it. It is crappy, I think your father's behavior is abborrent and disrespectful.

AND:

please show me how I am a hypocrite. I've been accused of being sexist in the past, yet no one can provide an example. Wow. Very compelling evidence I must say. Talk is cheap. I know you have an axe to grind with me for whatever dumb reason. You frequently provoke me, slander me, and call me names out of nowhere. This is why I didn't support your nomination for mod in another thread. You are a very immature girl.

No she's not.

[misombra]

neo, if you opened your eyes maybe you'd find the explaination. it's there, perhaps it's just over your head.

i care this much whether or not you support me for anything.

[Illusional]

sadly to sum it up, boys will be boys and your father still hasn't grown out of this stage.

raverboy