I just dont get it

[Luvaboy]

My ex girlfriend wanted to have a conversation with me about what happened in our relationship to see where we went wrong. I hold no bad feelings towards her so we talked. I explained to her why the think the relationship never worked out. I've given her several chances and each time she made promises she never kept. During the conversation she says she wants try again. She and i have been together for 4 years if i remember correctly. Now that she feels the relationship is truly over she wants to put her best foot forward to make our relationship work. I was like WFT why now after all this time. I explained to her she is a creature of habit and she will never change. Because if she loved me so much she would have changed without me asking her too. My question is this. Why is it that people in a relationship want to change when they feel the relationship is really over. All of a sudden they want to do things right. Its to late at this point. All of this could have been avoided. Now she is crying her eyes out saying she is sorry and that she made a big mistake. I will not take her back for any reason. I just like to know why ppl do this. Why when people feel threaten of losing the person that they say the love all of a sudden. They want to do whats right.

[clynn]

Sometimes it takes the person leaving to realize you were doing wrong.

Did you tell her before?

Sometimes, even just being told....doesn't make it clear in the same way that lonliness can. It is weird, but time alone can give you space to reflect and really do navel gazing that makes you understand. PLUS..missing a person encourages you to do what needs to be done to make it better.

Perhaps she didn't ever have the threat of the relationship ending before.

How long have you been broken up for?

Why won't you take her back? Is it too late now?
You don't even really love her anymore, is that it?

[carpflounder]

First off, right on bro for leaving her where she is.
As to your question, people like this have a lack of respect. When you tell them what you will and will not tolerate they do not take you seriously and for these sorts of people it literally takes consequenses for them to "get the message". Then in their entitled minds they think that they deserve every 3rd, 4th, 8th, and 20th chance that they beg for.

Whenever I start a relationship I tell the girl that if she ever breaks us up, she better have her mind made up, because I will never take her back...I do this because the integrity of the relationship has in essence been broken if someone has ended the relationship.
Like a glass; if you break it you can't really put it back together. You can take the pieces and try to glue them...but you will still see the cracks (the weak points).

She can cry, beg, and call, and text, and show up to my work, and hold onto my leg and not let go, but I just say "**** you, you don't truly care about us if you did then you wouldn't have broke us up."

[Luvaboy]

Sometimes it takes the person leaving to realize you were doing wrong.

Did you tell her before?

How long have you been broken up for?

Why won't you take her back? Is it too late now?
You don't even really love her anymore, is that it?

I have told her several times in the past that certain things has to change to order for our relationship to work. Taking her back means i'm falling back in the same ol cycle and hoping she will change. Its to late to try and repair the damage done to me her and our relationship. To some degree i still love her. But love dont pay my bills.

[Gigabitch]

I have told her several times in the past that certain things has to change to order for our relationship to work. Taking her back means i'm falling back in the same ol cycle and hoping she will change. Its to late to try and repair the damage done to me her and our relationship. To some degree i still love her. But love dont pay my bills.

Sh*t, even if it did, self-respect is better. My ex- was one sorry sack of crap. Years went by. Ten of them. I even married that bozo. The last five years were just pathetic. I recently found a letter he wrote me at the beginning of our relationship- promises that echo almost to the word the promises he made when I told him it was over and I was divorcing him.

Good for you for getting out now.

She won't change if she doesn't have to, and if you take her back, she doesn't have to.