Major overhaul....too hasty?

[DutchBoY]

Ok, well, I won't bore you with the details, but my life is a complete and utter mess. After my father died I've been having a very hard time coping (though nobody really notices, I tend to hide it quite well), am having serious issues with my mother whose behaviour I will just call irresponsible. I can't concentrate worth a damn, so my study (business administration) is clearly suffering. Besides the fact I can't study cause of my problems, the study itself sucks major ass in my opinion. And now the failure with this girl is added which annoys me to despair.

So I've been playing with some ideas. First: I need to get out of the house. Second, I don't know if I want to do this study anymore, but seeing as it has already taken me four years, it would be a shame to just stop.

So here's the plan. I'm gonna try and get my bachelor this year (which will be tough, but with a bit of motivation it should be do-able) and quit business administration. I'll join the army, and get into the Royal Military Academy (sort of Dutch Westpoint) and train in becoming an officer in the Dutch Army. Seeing as I'll need to be on the base the problem of me getting out of the house is solved, I'm still working on my future, and I'm getting payed for it as well. If I decide to want to get my master in Business Administration I can still do that after I'm done with Military Academy (in theory the master is only a one year course). Off course that wont make my love problems magically disappear, but as I'll be consumed with military training, there wont be much time in getting over this girl, and time will heal the wounds I guess.

Now my problem. Is this a decision I'm making way too hasty? Is my mind being clouded by the sewer my life has become the last year? Or am I doing the right thing to cut loose from my past and start over?

[Gigabitch]

Is this something you came up with last night at three in the morning when you couldn't sleep, or have you been working on it for a while?

[clynn]

WEll, why don't you just put the wheels into motion, there will likely be many steps along the way before you're fully committed to this venture. Each step will pose new questions and challenges and the answers will come along the way.

In theory, it certainly sounds good. Nothing like a man in a uniform!!

[DutchBoY]

well, I was raised with the military around me, my dad was a high-ranking officer in the army, so it definately has held my interest for some time. This plan has been brooding for the past year on and off, but not as seriously as it has for the last week/two weeks

[Gigabitch]

It seems like a pretty major change in direction. Maybe that's what you need to shake yourself out of your state of mind.

[clynn]

Then I would say GO FOR IT!!! If it is coming and going in your brain, you have to go forward with it....I find those things don't ever go away

[Tone]

Hey DutchY - you sound a lot like me a couple years ago. I just finished schooling in an area I didn't really enjoy... my love life completely fell through the roof.. I wasn't really feelin part of my family anymore... so I wanted to join the Air Force. I was pretty dead set on it, went and talked to a recruiter and all, thinkin it was the best way to escape my problems.

Luckily the more I thought of it - the more I realized it wasn't TRULY what I wanted... and I realized no matter where I go I'm gonna find more problems, just have to get use to and learn how to deal with them.

So like was mentioned... make sure you don't jump into anything too quickly, just because life isn't what you want it to be, at the moment. Take time and make sure this is really what you want for yourself.

[DutchBoY]

Hey DutchY - you sound a lot like me a couple years ago. I just finished schooling in an area I didn't really enjoy... my love life completely fell through the roof.. I wasn't really feelin part of my family anymore... so I wanted to join the Air Force. I was pretty dead set on it, went and talked to a recruiter and all, thinkin it was the best way to escape my problems.

Luckily the more I thought of it - the more I realized it wasn't TRULY what I wanted... and I realized no matter where I go I'm gonna find more problems, just have to get use to and learn how to deal with them.

So like was mentioned... make sure you don't jump into anything too quickly, just because life isn't what you want it to be, at the moment. Take time and make sure this is really what you want for yourself.

thnx man. I know it looks like I'm running away from my problems, and part of me acknowledges that, but to be quite honest I have not a single clue what the hell I want to do with my life. I mean the things that really matter in life (friends, a nice lovelife and I guess family falls under that category as well) in the end have not much to do with the professional carreer you strive for.
I don't want to be rich, I don't want the biggest successes. I want a quiet life with enough monetary means to supply me in the things I need (officer salary is substantial) and a job that can keep me on the edge. I'm afraid I won't find any of those things if I go on like I am doing now. I think I'll talk with a recruiter this week and see what I can expect if I decide to join the army.

Thnx for all your comments. Means a lot to me. You guys are a nice bunch

[Converse]

Hope everything works out for you, you seem like a nice guy. :]

[DutchBoY]

Hope everything works out for you, you seem like a nice guy. :]

ye that seems to be my problem hahahaha

[Lloyd95]

First off, you'll never truely be able to escape your love problems; you'll resolve one and move onto the next, it's just life's lessons.

Secondly, don't jump inot the military thing unless you 100% want to do it. If you're almost complete in your degree, finish it up, you can always fall back on that later. Take some time off and work a bit, travel or whatever. Who knows, you may stumble upon what you are looking for when you're out and about.

[DutchBoY]

ye well here's the catch. I'm 22 and if I'm not mistaken the maximum age they'll let you in the KMA (Koninklijke Militaire Academy = Royal Dutch Academy) is 23, which I'll turn in july. So I'll first have a talk with the recruiter and see what he's got to say. The bulk of my problems stem from my home environment, so that's what I really need to escape. Offcourse the love thing has me tangled in a knot as well, but that'll blow over I guess. I'll definately consider your advice. Will talk about it with a couple of friends as well, see what they have to say about the subject.

[clynn]

Well, the good news (if there can be any) about the love thing ---- at least it didn't go on any longer. Cuz the longer it goes on, the more it hurts when it ends......

[alice]

whatever you do –*don't join the army!!!!!! are you nuts?

[DutchBoY]

ye, too bad we're rather good friends as well.....it probably won't really affect our friendship, but I'll need some time to adjust. Lesson learned. NEVER date a friend!