family issues: boobs and sex

[becstasy]

HELP! my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year. he told me he was telling his aunt about me, and after showing her a picture of me, she observed that i have pretty big boobs for an asian. she also complemented me on my looks overall. then, he told me how his uncle casually asked him if we had had sex yet. (my boyfriend had sex with his ex-girlfriend before me, but he respects my wishes to save myself for marriage) i was shocked, first of all, because i'm from a pretty conservative family, although i am the only christian in my family. and secondly, this is all they chose to inquire about me. i was slightly disappointed that they didn't care about my personality, my hobbies, how our relationship is doing, etc. all they cared about is my physical assets and our (nonexistent) sex life.

should i be worried?

[misombra]

was that all they asked him or was that all HE SAID they asked him?

[xwfuro]

well that shouldnt get you down its his family not him. and its his grandparents on top of that , grandparents usually are weird bc they grew up in a weird time where lifestyles were diff.

[becstasy]

it's all they talked about, because he said the subject of my boobs led to talk of boobs in general, and then they moved on to other topics.

and true, i'm in love with him, not his family. but it just seemed like that's all they cared to know about me.

[misombra]

i guess i wouldn't think too much of it if i trusted the man i was with.

[Only-virgins]

I have no idea why I am in this thread, its just...the words boobs and sex were in the title.

[HeyYouGuy]

Well it dont matter what they think. Matter hows he feels about you. Plenty of people dont like there bf/gf's family lol.

[clynn]

Geeeze, that is pretty shallow.

But...you can't judge a person by their family.

[Lloyd95]

that i have pretty big boobs for an asian.

Maybe you should get a second (3rd, 4th) opinion; post up your pic in the "gallery" section.

[shh!]

I am guessing that due to your youth, they are not looking at you as potential relative material - you are just the flavor of the month in their eyes. When they begin to think of you as a potential relative, they will care more about your personality.

[moeno]

i wouldnt worry if i were you as it is just a really very passing remark, not that they think lowly of you whatsoever. at this point they werent that worried about his "marriage potential" so its just idle chitchat. It certainly was not asked because they think you were 'liberal" or anything.

[yellowjasmin]

wow, so this guy has not touched you over a year, given that he had sex before? hmm....

anyhoo, like many have said, some families are JUST weird. Some don't like to talk about personality and some don't even talk about anyone at all.
My bf's family never ask about me or my personality. I was bothered at first, but now, I'm used to it.
I think if he respects you and make you happy, try not to let his family ruin your happiness. What they think is what they think. As long as the one you love makes you happy.

[King Zarathu]

wow, so this guy has not touched you over a year, given that he had sex before? hmm....

Yeah that's what I was thinking!

By the way, I wouldn't worry about it, they just moved on to a different conversation. I think you're safe

I agree with Lloyd, post a picture,

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...

[becstasy]

thanks for all the reassurance!

i will try to post a pic of myself in the gallery section lol

and only-virgins...i'm sorry you were disappointed...the title was misleading =p

shh!
i also agree with you that maybe they don't see me as someone my bf will marry, just another girl he is seeing for the moment. we've been dating for over a year and we've considered marriage. my bf's parents are divorced, he lives with his mom and his aunt/uncle is practically his second parents. he is very open with them about his sexual experiences (he only had one, with his last gf), but since he hasn't done it with me, i think his uncle (who was a playboy when he was younger) doesn't want him to give up his biological potential at such an early age. my bf has a very...attractive personality, and he's pretty cute. so a lot of girls like him. his uncle, i think, wants him to take advantage of this before he gets settled down in marriage.

last night, he said that, right before he left his relative's house, his uncle pulled him aside and told him that the likelihood we would get married is very slim. he said we would meet new people and find others who shared more in common with us. he advised (my bf) to go out and "experience" other girls while he is still young. my boyfriend just laughed it off, because he's not that kind of person, but i was almost offended and definitely worried because his uncle's view is completely opposite my values and beliefs. i am my boyfriend's 4th girlfriend, and this is my first relationship. he had sex with his ex after 3 months, but it took him almost that long for him to tell me he loved me because he learned his lesson, realizing that that relationship was mostly based off lust and infatuation. i guess my point it, i don't think we are moving too fast, or that we are "blinded by the fire of our love."

anyone agree/disagree?

[TAVS]

I agree with the Uncle. You're both too young to be in your final relationship