Overconfidence - too much of a good thing?

[woahhitsjohn]

Confidence. Everybody loves a confident person. Confidence semi-subconsciously tells people, "Hey, I am a guy worth knowing." (Or girl, but the focus of this thread is more centered around guys...)

I am a very confident guy. There is no denying that. A very confident guy, as a matter of fact. Some might even say that this overwhelming confidence borders on, say, delusional hubris.

But that's okay with me, because, well... I am utterly awesome.

Now, certainly we can all agree that being confident is a good thing. It is especially important for guys, as girls focus more on personality than looks compared to guys (this is a generalization, I know, but in my limited experience, it's so true). But on the flip side, I think most people would agree that too much confidence, with too much attitude - arrogance - is a bad thing, in most situations. Oh sure, some girls may go for the cocky bad-boy image, but in general, it's better to avoid open arrogance.

I am not truly an arrogant person. At least, not that arrogant. But I am quite the wise-ass. And as a wise-ass, I will often make arrogant jokes about how wonderful I am. I mean, it's clear that I'm joking... or at least, it's clear that I'm not entirely serious... nevertheless, sometimes I'll find myself wondering if this type of joking still comes off as a negative to girls.

Example:
[I say something especially funny; girl laughs hysterically.]
Girl: You're so funny! How'd you ever come up with that?
Me: I guess it's just because I'm so hilarious, and witty, and irresistibly sexy. *smug grin*
Girl: *semi-sarcastically* Oh yes, that you are.

Yes. Quite the in-depth example conversation, I know, what with four whole lines of text.

I suppose the title is a bit of a misnomer, as this thread is not really about being actually overconfident, but merely being overconfident in jest.

Anyway... to sum this up into one topic question: Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

[King Zarathu]

Sounds like some David DeAngelo to me

In my past experience it works with girls that have high self-esteem and self-confidence. Otherwise, it has to be done perfectly or else you'll be called an ******* -.- and your face will have a red handprint on it for weeks at a time.

[BlueRaven]

It's different for every situation. But in general, I'd say toning the confidence down a tiny bit isn't gonna hurt anything.

[King Zarathu]

Make sure you don't confuse self-confidence with self-esteem. You can have some kick ass self-confidence with 0 self-esteem.

Self-esteem is ALWAYS more important, so be sure to worry about that first.

[Pears]

Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

It really depends on who you are talking to. Some girls can handle the jokes, while others will take offense at it. When you first meet someone, make sure you are nice and straight forward to be safe. You can save your jokes and sarcasm till after you know who you are dealing with. After you get to know someone's personality, then you can gage whether she can take a joke or not.

[Only-virgins]

There is a difference between being confident and being an a$$, though must people(specially the female species) seem to combine the two into one.

[Pears]

OV is an A$$.

[Only-virgins]

OV is an A$$.

You know you want me.

[alice]

I suppose the title is a bit of a misnomer, as this thread is not really about being actually overconfident, but merely being overconfident in jest.

Anyway... to sum this up into one topic question: Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

if it's really in jest, it's ok. but i know a guy who's actually overconfident and arrogant – he sucks.

[daisy]

Overconfidence sounds always bad for me...

[Tone]

Make sure you don't confuse self-confidence with self-esteem. You can have some kick ass self-confidence with 0 self-esteem.

Self-esteem is ALWAYS more important, so be sure to worry about that first.

What? What are you talking about?

How can you be confident if you have no self-esteem? Do you know what these two mean? They are directly related. If you don't feel good about yourself, how can you be confident? Do you think people out there fake confidence, with 0 self-esteem?

If you have no self-esteem your whole mindset is skewed. You won't say "Let me pretend I'm awesome and pretend I have confidence" your mindset will be "Why should I even bother with her... I'm not good enough.. I'll screw it up.." etc

I really can't see how you think self-esteem and confidence are not DIRECTLY related.

Girl: You're so funny! How'd you ever come up with that?
Me: I guess it's just because I'm so hilarious, and witty, and irresistibly sexy. *smug grin*
Girl: *semi-sarcastically* Oh yes, that you are.

Ugh - I don't like this type of confidence. That's way too overboard for me.

I like to think I'm a pretty confident guy, but I never have to go around telling people that.. I let it speak for me, you know?

[King Zarathu]

What? What are you talking about?

How can you be confident if you have no self-esteem? Do you know what these two mean? They are directly related. If you don't feel good about yourself, how can you be confident? Do you think people out there fake confidence, with 0 self-esteem?

If you have no self-esteem your whole mindset is skewed. You won't say "Let me pretend I'm awesome and pretend I have confidence" your mindset will be "Why should I even bother with her... I'm not good enough.. I'll screw it up.." etc

I really can't see how you think self-esteem and confidence are not DIRECTLY related.

This isn't a "give me attention and feel sorry for me" type thing because I hate fags that pull that kind of shit off, but I don't really have much self-esteem...at all. However, I would feel totally confident standing up in front of a crowd of people giving a speech. If I were to be booed off stage, it'd just attack my self-esteem some more, but I would still feel confident to go give a speech again.

[Converse]

Some people act over confident to hide the fact that they are so insecure inside, if that's not the case then the persons just a Twat, I hate arrogant people.

[King Zarathu]

Overconfidence is arrogance?

[Converse]

Overconfidence is arrogance?

It can be IMO.

Example: "OMG I'm so beutiful, don't you think?" or "I'm so clever I know everything about everything" etc.