how to forget

[pinkpuca84]

how do u forget and move on from someone who clearly shows u that he doesnt feel the same way as u? i really wanna forget him, but it seems so hard. he's my first love, and altho 10 yrs have gone by, i still love him. and it hurts...i really wish that i could move on by now. but i havent been with other guys, but still cant get rid of him from my mind. please help...i dont wanna love him anymore...cos it hurts me so bad knowing that i could never have a chance to be with him...

[TAVS]

You've been separated for 10yrs? I might suggest professional counseling.

[pinkpuca84]

yea...10 yrs...only met him once last holiday. we even live in different cities and different countries...for me, he's just perfect (altho i know no one in this world is perfect) but i still regard him as the best thing that i've ever known. and no guys can match him. i really wish i can see him not as special like that...so that i could move on

[TAVS]

You've got some serious problems; sorry but you really do need a professional.

[RogerWilco]

Pink, what does the 84 stand for in your name. If that's your year of birth (which it may or may not be), that'd mean this was some kid you "dated" when you were 12?

Hopefully I'm off on my age theory here . . .

[pinkpuca84]

yea...84 is the year i was born (so i'm 22 yrs old this year)...hehe...yea....i like him ever since i was 12 yrs old. a huge crush that lasts until now...my friends often laughed at me, told me that i was kidding. but no...i'm serious

[pinkpuca84]

and no...i never had a chance to date him,...cos he didnt even like me then...and dont like me now...so..basically i never go out with him in my life

[TAVS]

Okay; so we're not at the end of the rope here; that's good. But I still think you have some problems. You dont want this to effect the rest of your life do you?

[pinkpuca84]

me again...he told someone that i'm not his type. i wanna be his type!! whatever he wants me to, i can change for him. what can i do? i dont know what kinda girl he likes,....sometimes i wonder if i'm not pretty enough...not cool enough...not kind enough...not good enough...so thats why he doesnt like me....i know it's such a negative thoughts, but it really destroys my self-esteem.

[lolz]

whoah 10 years

[pinkpuca84]

Thanks Rich...i'm good friends with this guy (he even thinks that i'm his best friend), we chat on MSN, but obviously never see each other face to face (well..once...that was last year...when i still had a bf). sometimes i wonder IF i wait for him long enough...will he ever like me eventually?? cos i feel that if that day comes, all these times and suffering that i have now, will be worth waiting. but how long to wait? obviously he can't tell me what sort of girl he likes. cos it's love, u can't tell exactly what is it in someone that makes u love them, rite? cos i can't....i dont think he's THE most gorgeous...THE most kind...THE most everything....infact, i think he's just a normal guy...with the flaws...yet i see him like he's a perfection....and it's scary....(note: i'm going back for good to my country this july...so at least we're not gonna be in different countries anymore)...but does it mean anything? will that make any difference?

[TAVS]

It could help things, to be in the same country. My advice, wait for it, moving countries can change A LOT of things, so don't give up hope on him, I could have only wished my ex woulda waited for me, but in the end it didn't happen.

Love after all is accepting someone with their massive and small flaws. The best thing you can do is to hold on tight because Life, like love is one hellva rollercoaster ride. I hope that this guy can see what he is missing out on, anyone as dedicated to another like you are, deserves to get what they want. It just isn't right if you don't.

This is the worst advice I've seen on these forums in the past year.

[pinkpuca84]

Thank you.... your reply is very touchy indeed....thanks so much Rich...it makes me smile to see that i MIGHT have a chance...even just a small one...means so much for me. it's just...the waiting is hurting me...

[RogerWilco]

Tavs: You can have your opinions but I know of relationships of people im very close friends with and they are happily married for a long time.

How on Earth does knowing married people justify advising someone to continue an extremely unhealthy and self-desdtructive obsession with someone???

[TAVS]

Tavs: You can have your opinions but I know of relationships of people im very close friends with and they are happily married for a long time.
.

Friends where one partner was hooked on the other for 10 years and made themselves emotionally unavailable to finding someone in their life that actually wanted to be with them? Then 10yrs down the road they're happily married?