what makes a guy decide between 2 women

[squirrley]

there. If a man is currently involved with someone, but someone special comes along and knows there is something there, what does he do? I mean what makes his decision in deciding amongst the two?

[Name]

For me, it would depend on what I feel for the person I'm currently involved with. I mean, if we're past all of this "dating" stuff and I feel something for the woman I'm with I'd have to make the call and let the other girl down. Even if this other girl is a knockout I couldn't hurt someone I'm currently in a serious relationship with. I'd have to find a way to let the other girl down easy without hurting her. That's not easy for me.

However if the girl I was currently involved with was a bitch to me or if I just didn't think she was feeling it, I'd give it some consideration. Also, if we were just in the beginings of the dating stage I'd give the other girl a chance. Then I'd see who suited me more and... there you go.

[squirrley]

yea yea. From what his friend tells me as himself too, its a crappy relationship. He admitted to me it was NOT NATURAL(love i mean) comments like she's up my ass 24-7, i can't do my laundry by myself, etc. But we're in different states, so i see why he would stay with her, free ass, i understand a man has needs. I couldn't take that from him. Guess it's the nature of the beast, he deals with her crap but gets laid. I can't give that right now. Wouldn't you consider the fact that e-mail all of the time almost like he's cheating? and the fact we talk about getting together agian?

[Name]

Originally posted by squirrley
Guess it's the nature of the beast, he deals with her crap but gets laid. I can't give that right now. Wouldn't you consider the fact that e-mail all of the time almost like he's cheating? and the fact we talk about getting together agian?

I sense some aggression. It is not necessarily the nature of a man to care about pussy and only pussy. I was serious about what I said.

If they're not getting along then that may be precisely why he's e-mailing you. Maybe he wants out and you're his ticket. Maybe when he has sex with her he sees you and thinks of the things you say in your e-mails. There are other possibilities though. In fact he may never even act on all of this. This may just be one big ego boost for the guy. It could just be to see what he's capable of. It can feel good when you're in a relationship to know that you are attractive to someone else. Some guys love to yank a chain.

The way I see it is the guy needs to come clean and make a choice. You may just have to ask him flat out what his plans are.

To tell you the truth I would feel bad for this girl that he's with now. She has no idea that he's talking to you. That's bad. And you have to think, what if he did get with you? He may do the same to you eventually.

[jane]

If they're not getting along then that may be precisely why he's e-mailing you. Maybe he wants out and you're his ticket. Maybe when he has sex with her he sees you and thinks of the things you say in your e-mails. There are other possibilities though. In fact he may never even act on all of this. This may just be one big ego boost for the guy. It could just be to see what he's capable of. It can feel good when you're in a relationship to know that you are attractive to someone else. Some guys love to yank a chain.


Oh man

Thats exactly what I am feeling right now.
That scares the hell out of me to think about too!
The "what if's" can drive a person crazy.

[squirrley]

no shit. I've thought about it, the trust thing. But, we grew up together as kids, and have a huge history that only he and i share. I wont give ultimatoms, no way, want him to come to his own conclusion, but on some kind of a time table. He told me on our trip i was good for his ego, i don;t mind he did the same for me. So how do i know when i should let go, or if i should hang on?

[jane]

The time table would be cool. I know that there are things about us that need to change but neither one of us can change anything right now. I suppose it's all fincial right now.

[squirrley]

hear ya. I'm so mentallly tired I'm going to bed ya'll. Thanks for all of the support and may the Good Lord have our backs to get us through this craziness, even though i know he never gives us more than we can handle.

WELL BE FINE>

night night all.

[jane]

Good night girl!
It will work out.. it has to..

[Name]

Originally posted by jane


Oh man

Thats exactly what I am feeling right now.
That scares the hell out of me to think about too!
The "what if's" can drive a person crazy.

It really does depend on the person. I've never met these people that you girls are discussing. They may be honest and true but if they were I doubt they'd be plotting on leaving their current loves for someone miles away. You'd like to think that you're special enough to make him do that, I know. He's probably let on like that's what he'd love to do. You do know that with a situation like that that the possibilities are endless and frankly not in your favor. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but it's true.

I think it's a bad situation to try to hook up with somebody that's already in a relationship. Would you want someone to try to take your man?

[jane]

Originally posted by Name
I think it's a bad situation to try to hook up with somebody that's already in a relationship. Would you want someone to try to take your man?

your right I know, I mean this probably isn't healthy but..

It's too late for rationalizations. I love him. I'm screwed...

[Name]

Originally posted by jane
your right I know, I mean this probably isn't healthy but..

It's too late for rationalizations. I love him. I'm screwed...

You love him.


Good luck.

[jane]

Originally posted by Name
You love him.


Good luck.

That doesn't sound very encouraging? was is supposed to?

[Name]

Originally posted by jane
That doesn't sound very encouraging? was is supposed to?

Actually, yes.

It's hard to convey tone through writing.

[wbean]

Originally posted by jane
your right I know, I mean this probably isn't healthy but..

It's too late for rationalizations. I love him. I'm screwed...

I understand what you mean, its something you can't help, feeling isn't like thinking, when you feel something you just feel it and its helpless to try not to, thats why in my case I will let it die the way it must... reminds me of a Pearl Jam's song that says: "The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied"... Long holidays ahead for me... (maybe not that long if i use the wine wisely)