My love is worse than your love...

[Sammybeans]

Ok, well where to start?

I'm 18, from Kansas, and just turned single. I was dating this girl... let's call her Brenda. Now Brenda and I dated for 18 months. It was a great 18 months at that. Everyday I felt like I fell in love with her again.

A few months ago, she had to move to a different city, that was fairly close by. And after working 50 hour weeks, I was having a hard time staying in perfect touch with her. The problem only started 2 weeks ago. I started to notice that I never had time to see her, or even talk to her, so I decided to change that. I asked for a lot of hours off, and I managed to set up a lot of free time to spend with her in the future.

However, that would be in vain. 3 days ago, she calls me and says we shouldn't be together. When I ask why, she said it just didn't feel the same anymore, and that her and a guy we both know... let's call him Don, might be getting together.

Now I told you that story, so that I could follow up with this story. Don and Brenda were good friends for about a year before I met the two of them. After the first few months of Brenda and myself dating, It was brought to my attention by a mutual friend of ours, that Brenda, had at one point had feelings for Don, and it was possible that her feelings were returned.

I wasn't too worried about it, but decided to confront Brenda on it directly. She admitted that she did used to have feelings for him, but that those feelings were gone since she had met me.

Well, Myself and Don were very close throughout the time I was dating Brenda. And one day, months later, he admits to his crush on her. And said that he was upset that he didn't pursue her first. I was actually very glad that he felt close enough to me to admit that.

However, this stirs up something inside of me and I bring it up with Brenda. She consoles me on how I have nothing to worry about, and that she has no interest in Don anymore. I feel, almost completely reassured. I didn't dwell on it for very long at all.

Myself and Brenda were eventually making plans to get married. She picked out dresses with her mom, and I asked her dads permission. Everyting was in place, and it seemed that nothing could take that great feeling away. We were getting married.

Now, back to the first story. Brenda tells me that she is leaving me. And the interesting part comes when she tells me that she isn't dating Don yet, because she has to find out if she is over me first.

Well, after a few days, and many long conversations with both of them, I've started to be convinced that she's not going to come back to me. She didn't seem to have any pain when this happened, except for the compassion for the pain it was causing me. I have tried so hard to find a way to make things work...

I haven't slept since then, and have only eaten once. I want to win her back, but I don't know if that's possible. I want her to be happy as well, so I won't try and ruin what she has with Don. I just wish I knew how to make this all a dream...

[parentdetective]

Wow.
I think you need to try and move on. If she did come back to you wouldn't you think in the back of your mind what if she does it again. I would move on, even if there will be pain.

[bluesummer]

It's going to hurt my friend, but trust that there are still many girls out there for you to meet and experience love with. It will happen, please trust me on this. Your first love is not your last!!

I think getting married at eighteen would've been selling yourself short.....you will count your blessings in a few years when you realize what a giant mistake that would've been. Good luck.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, this will be a pivotal experience in your life. Try to pivot somewhere good.