So...this is how it is now...

[aslan]

I already posted in this section year ago...so...sadly I'm back...

This was the beggining... (showthread.php?t=6195)

And then...after few weeks, the situation got clear...she got rid of that guy, and we got together...

It was like a dream, really...

I was all over her and she was all over me...since we live 100 miles apart, I went to her on weekends, or she came to me...we went out, had fun...I was so into her, that that's beyond compare...

I started makin plans, I wanted to make myself better in her eyes...and I made a decision, after 3-4 months with her that I should move to her city, because of college but also because of us...

And I did it...because I always find a way to do what I've put my mind to...

So, I found a little condo, and started to live there with my friend, because we both agreed that it's a bit too soon to start living together...

That was a period of my transition, I moved to a new town, and I was a bit confused, because I knew very few people there, so I needed time to adjust...

When I came there, I was supposed to get this job, so I could pay for my own living and all the other stuff...

That deal went off, so I kept searching, but it wasn't easy...

After 3 months there, my situation got bad, I was grumpy, we started to fuss and fight more often, and then there was this situation where a friend of mine back home offered me a decent job...

Me and my girl talk aobut it, and she supported me to go work for a part time, but not to forget the college and all that other stuff...and she said that I should make more money when I'm at my parents' house, so I could someday start that college and work and realise everything I've planned...

So after 3 months, I've moved back home...in that period, the conversations when we didn't talk about anything were starting to get more often...and we were more nervous at times...

Times when we we're together were nice as always, but as soon as I went back home, it was often itchy conversation...

And...after a year and 2 months of realtionship, she said she couldn go on anymore.

We talked for hours...about problems....we never had a conversations like that before, and that was a major issue...we never talked about problems, only tried to pushe them aside...

But they piled up...and spilled the cup...

Few weeks ago she told me that she doesn't want to go on with me...and we talked, and said it'll be ok, please don't do that to us...and she said I'm sorry, I love you...

I came to her for a weekend, and we we're as always, weekend was nice and well spent. But we didn't talk about us seriously...

And then, few days after, she told me that that's it...I tried to convince her about me, that I will start to act more mature, stop being so childish over some things, and to make a fresh start and change it not to the way it was but better...

She said that she doesn't feel like that anymore...that she cooled off...

I couldn't stop myself from seeing her one more time, so few days ago I went to her place, without anounce...and when I knocked on the doors, her parents opened...they didn't know...

I said to myself that I will not make drama and tell it because that would be totally immature...so I talked to them, casual...her father called her to come home urgent, but didn't tell her I was there, and then he told me "now she's gonna be surprised!"

She came home, and her parents we're just about to go out of town...

She came up to me and asked me "why are you doing this" and I've told her I didn't tell them anything...her mom told me bye, she always liked me, and her dad told me see you around and they went out...

So...there we we're...face to face...maybe for a last time...

I couldn't believe that, I've told her again all the things about us and me and everything, and she said she know she would wake up the next morning with doubts about us in her mind...

I was there for 5-6 hours, she seen on my face that I'm pale and told me that I should eat, made me lunch but I couldn't really eat anything...

I've told her that she doesn't forget all the things I've said to her, and if she ever gets a spark in her mind that has us in it, to let me know...

All in all...that's the way it is...I can't stop thinking about her, I feel like calling and acting like nothing happened, but I can't do that...

Yesterday I spent the whole day outside of the house because I can't be in my room, memories come crashing in and I can't bare with it...

But I noticed that even when I go out I start thinking about her, I start to imagine places we we're about to go this summer...

I feel bitter, I acted like a spoiled brat, when things got complicated between us I was stubborn and I was last to loose the situation, I didn't talk about problems...I took shit for granted and I would smack myself over the head with a hammer because of that...

I can't deal with a fact that it's over, I still feel like she's my baby and I can't imagine her with soem other guy, I want' to take care of her and make her happy...

I told to myself I'll make a move on my life, after the summer I'll go to her city to the college I've wanted, but I won't go home this time...

I'm trying to learn to cope with a fact that I won't see her again...I can't deal with that, I don't believe in that...

I know I can't dial her number whenever, I afraid she doesn't tell me thing like "i think it's better not to call" or whatever...

Maybe she wouldn't, but the only words that can lift me up right now are the ones from her mouth and I'm praying to hear them...

I don't know what to do...I really don't...

[Gigabitch]

Wretched! All you can do is keep yourself occupied some of the time and the rest of the time wallow in misery. It's natural. You'll get better.

[blauw]

Like they all say : It needs time

But like giga says .. keep urselfs bissy
Hurts a lot I know

[loss]

hey man i'm in similar situation. But i'm still with her well until another 8 days. Then we are together that not the point here's the point:

- If only your college wasn't where she was, then u can go to it.
- CHUCK or put all her stuff she gave u some where
- Go to another city or town for a while.
- seek other girls out thier, i'm sure thier are other simmilar to her but that sound like using them don't do that.

hmm even harder then i thought, well i need advice my self..that all i can say to u