Dilemma...

[wellwellwell]

In a slight predicament...
Been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 weeks and has been great for the first month or so.. but in the last couple of weeks he seems to have lost interest? we don't see each other as much and whenever we talk about it nothing is resolved.. He always seems to have an excuse for us not seeing each other which usually makes me feel guilty for getting upset at him..
What's worse... is lately I have been talking to another guy who appears to have all the qualities that I want in a guy. He calls me every day (my boyfriend doesn't), he's kind, caring, funny.. all in all seems.. nicer than my boyfriend..

Also, (although this didn't bother me then) I heard a lot about my boyfriend's reputation not being great.. It was rumoured that he would be nice to a girlfriend's face for the first few weeks but then turn.. and his past relationship aren't brilliant. I know I should look to the future instead of dwellign in the past.. but how else can you judge a person's behaviour than from their past?

Not so long ago I did receive a text from my boyfriend that seemed like a "dirty" reply to another girl... but he assured me it was not meant to be to another person but that he had done it in his sleep and it was meant for me as a reply to his dream..(after only getting off the phone from his 20 minutes earlier..)

so now I wonder is this just a bad patch for my boyfriend? Therefore should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Or wil I miss a possible good oportunity with the new guy? Is the new guy just excited by the idea that he can't have me and is therefore being nice to try and win me over?.. Seeing as I haven't known him long, breaking up with my boyfriend for him may not be a brilliant idea?

Thank you for reading

Confused..

[vashti]

You seem a bit too eager to jump from one relationship to another. Maybe what you should consider is going solo for a while. Your boyfriend sounds suspicious, and you don't even really know the new guy. How old are you?

[wellwellwell]

yeah all really valid points...
i think either way things are not working with my boyfriend. surely if im not happy and i'm thinking about another guy.. i should take it to be proof that we are not working..
I'm 16 and my boyfriend and the new guy are 17. I know it may sound young and immature.. and I know I can't take it too seriously, but I don't like to hurt people and i have never been in this situation before. I think it's got to a point where staying single can't be an option. I have gotten a bit too involved with this new guy to just turn around and say no if me and my boyfriend break up...
My boyfriend has tried to make plans to see me but there are so many excuses and reasons as to why we can't.. I don't know what to think..

Anyone been in a situation similar to this before? Or someone who may have a better outlook on it?

[vashti]

There will always be thoughts of another guy, but there probably shouldn't be after only 6 weeks. Then again, you are only 16. You shouldn't be tied down to anyone. There is plenty of time for that later.

[wellwellwell]

Yeah I see so many of my actions as reasons for proof that it isn't working with my boyfriend. I should feel faithful to him. Yeah I agree and I'm not one to get tied down in all honesty so this probably would not last long anyway..
My boyfriend still pulls on my heart strings sayign that he misses me and that he's sorry we haven't been able to see each other.. But when i sit back and think about it I see it as some kind of act.. ? I don't trust him enough whether or not I like another guy...

[vashti]

I think in the future, it would be good to remember that you should NEVER make decisions about guys based on the appearance of a third party. People who make that a pattern are the ones that end up leaving marriages for a new guy, only to find the grass wasn't so green after all.

If you are having problems with a guy, either fix them or move on, and THEN you can start thinking about other people. It will reduce the amount of confusion in your life, and you will make better decisions.